The Way We Say Goodbye

Chapter 19

Walking into school that morning was enough for me. I took one look at Osbourne, and he took one step in my direction. That's all it took for me to turn around and walk out the doors. I ran through the parking lot and away from the school. I fell into a brisk walk as I headed down the sidewalk, my breathing heavy as I tried to catch my breath. I pulled out my phone and called Zen.

"Hey, aren't you supposed to be in school?" he asked in amusement.

"I couldn't do it. I took one look at him, and he took one step in my direction. I couldn't do it. Not today. Maybe I'll try again tomorrow, but not today," I blurted out hysterically.

"Woah," he said in surprise. "Just calm down. Where are you? I'll pick you up."

"Um..." I stopped and looked around. "I'm not too far from my house. I'll meet you there."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

It wasn't long before I was approaching my house, and I saw Zen sitting in his car in the driveway. I quickly climbed into the passenger seat. I glanced at him and breathed out, "Hey."

He smirked at me. "Hey. So much for going to school, huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "Just drive."

He chuckled and backed out of the driveway.

We met up with Havoc and Jewel at a different park than we usually did. I recognized the area, and I realized it wasn't too far from Bowie's house. I didn't think much of it.

"Yay! I'm so happy you came, Del," Jewel threw her arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

I chuckled and slipped my arm around her waist, returning her hug. "Yeah, it was too soon to go back to school."

"Their loss is our gain," she smiled at me.

"What are we doing today?" I asked, glancing at each person.

Havoc shrugged and suggested, "Get high and push each other on the swings."

Jewel busted out in a fit of giggles. "That sounds fun."

I raised an eyebrow at her before making eye contact with Zen and said, "Seems like someone has already checked off getting high."

"Jewel is always high," Zen chuckled.

"That's because I get high on life," Jewel announced as she spun herself in a circle. We all laughed at her comment.

That's how we spent our day. Smoking and pushing each other on the swings, and of course, Havoc left at one point to buy everyone snacks. Smoking to forget my worries was quickly becoming a necessity for me at that point, and I liked forgetting everything with my new friends. They didn't look at me like they were waiting for me to fall apart. They just let me be myself.

Eventually, we decided we all should probably head our separate ways, and of course, we decided one more round of puff-puff-pass was needed. Just as I was taking my turn, someone walking by caught my eye, causing me to choke on the exhale, which did nothing but draw his attention to me.

Zen began rubbing my back while laughing. "Dude, are you okay?"

I just nodded and choked out a muffled sentence that I hoped sounded something along the lines of "I have to go."

Bowie just stared at me with a stern expression as I approached him. I was still trying to ease my coughing. Finally, he glanced behind me at my new friends before returning his attention back to me. He sighed and asked, "Do you wanna come over for a little while?"

I simply nodded and kept my head down as we turned in the direction of his house.

Bowie and I walked in silence for a while, and I wondered what he thought of who I was becoming. I never thought that I would care what he thought of me, but I did. I stopped walking and grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop beside me. "I wish you hadn't seen me out like this." I looked at the ground.

Bowie sighed and huffed, "What are you doing with people like that, Del?"

My hands shook as I tried to keep my emotions under control, but I couldn't stop the tears. I quickly wiped them away and looked back up at him. In a shaky voice, I pleaded, "Please don't tell him. Don't tell him how I'm doing or who I'm hanging out with."

He looked at me with a sad expression. "Delta, pushing him away isn't the answer."

The tears started rolling down my cheeks. "Bowie, things are so broken...messy. We can't go back. We're beyond fixing things between us, and it's killing me. He's pushed me away just as much, and I need to let go."

"You're really okay with letting him go?"

"If I don't, I'll never be okay." With that statement, my heart broke more than I ever thought it could. More tears spilled, and my voice shook as I said, "I have too much going on. I can't juggle a relationship when I'm barely holding myself together. Right now, I'm struggling just to survive all of this."

Tears began forming in his eyes, and Bowie pulled me into a warm embrace. I sobbed into his shoulder. It felt good to finally let everything pour out of me and to have someone to hold me together. Bowie was the friend I never saw coming.