The Way We Say Goodbye

Chapter 25

I didn't sleep the night Osbourne and I talked. I was up thinking about how broken he looked, how broken I felt. Something in me stirred, and I wished I hadn't been high when we talked. I wanted to talk to him again, to try to fix things. I wanted to tell him that I could always change my mind about going to California. I considered talking to him at school, but I couldn't think of a way it would turn out well.

I glanced down the hallway and saw him talking with Bowie and Arvin. Osbourne turned and looked in my direction, and I quickly looked away. Closing my locker door, I hurried to my first class. An anxious feeling flowed through me, and I had a bad feeling about how today would turn out.

The anxious feeling chewed at me, and by the time the last class before lunch ended, I felt sick to my stomach. I took a deep breath in an attempt to self-soothe. As I shut my locker, I jumped at the sudden realization that someone was standing beside me, and I yelped out, "Shit!"

"Sorry, I-I didn't mean to scare you."

I looked at Osbourne's tired face before quickly looking at my feet, my hair falling around my face. My heart raced, and I felt even more nauseous than before.

"Look, I don't want to make you upset, or-or make things any worse than they already are. I just...I wanted to talk to you last night, and it didn't go that well. I just...wanted to try again."

"I was too high for conversations last night," I mumbled back.

He ran his hand through his hair as he let out a shaky breath. "Yeah. Look, I just wanted to apologize for everything. I—I know I messed everything up, and I wasn't there when I should've been. I know I can't fix things now, but I don't..."

"'You don't,' what?"

"I don't know how to word this in a way that doesn't sound like a judgmental asshole."

I chuckled, "Just say it. I won't get mad or walk off without you explaining."

"I wish you wouldn't hang out with Zen and his friends."

I looked up at him. I really looked at him. His eyes dark, and he looked thinner. I sighed and looked away, crossing my arms over my chest. I looked back at him. "Bowie doesn't like me hanging out with them either."

"You've been hanging out with Bowie?"

I bit my lip and nodded. "He checks in on me. He tries to make sure I'm not doing anything too stupid."

"I'd rather you hang out with him than Zen."

I sighed. "Is this what you wanted to talk about?"

He shook his head and said, "No."

"Well...what did you want to talk about?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I just...I know...I know everything is hard right now. I should've been there for you more through everything. I...I get why you want to get high, but it won't fix things. As much as I wish I had more time to try to fix things, I think going to California will be good for you. You'll get to start over."

Tears pricked my eyes, and I wrapped my arms around him. I buried my face in his chest as I shed a few tears. The hug was short lived, and I wiped my eyes as I stepped away and looked at him. "Ozzie, I'm happy we had what we did while we had it. I know there were times we both should've handled things better, but this, right now, I'm glad we're having this moment. My life was better with you in it."

"But you're still going to California."

I sighed. "I'm still going to California."

He smiled sadly. "I'm glad we could talk like this before that happened."

Tears spilled down my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away. "I am too."

"I don't know why I was such an ass."

"Everything happens for a reason."

"And what reason did you find for me being an ass?"

I looked at him as sadness and pain washed over me. "It gave me something else to think about."

He pulled me into him and held me tightly as he said, "I should've been a shoulder for you, never a distraction."

"I know, but things don't always work out the way we think they should," I mumbled as I hugged him for the last time.

Pulling away from him, I felt a calmness wash over me. My chest didn't hurt when I looked at him, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like things might turn out okay. I should've known that that was the calm before the storm. That serene moment made me forget about the uneasiness that had followed me all day. I should've known things couldn't be so easy.

Walking into the cafeteria and towards the table that my friends sat at, that uneasiness came back. As I approached the table, Scarlet looked at me with a smug expression. I hesitated to sit down. Something in me knew that she was about to say something that would piss me off. I looked at her blankly as she stared back at me.

"What?"

"You let that loser back in your life quicker than I expected. Did losing your parents really make you that lonely?"

Something in me snapped. Before anyone could process what was happening, I was on top of Scarlet and hitting her. All the years of her backhanded comments and snide remarks were taken out on her in that moment. I could hear Violet begging me to stop and could feel someone grabbing at me, but I didn't care. It wasn't until someone wrapped their arms around my waist and picked me up off of Scarlet that I noticed the crowd around us. It wasn't until that moment that I felt the tears on my face. I pulled away from whoever had picked me up and realized it was Bowie. I hurried out of the cafeteria, ignoring everyone who was calling my name.

"Delta!" Bowie called out to me.

I stopped and turned to him, tears pouring down my face.

"What the hell was that? I know Scarlet can be a bitch, but what could she possibly say to piss you off that much?"

Sniffling, I said, "I guess she saw me and Ozzie talking before lunch, because she said something about losing my parents must've made me really lonely to take that loser back." As the words left my lips, more tears poured down my cheeks.

He sighed and pulled me into a hug. "If I'd known that, I would've let you keep beating her ass."

I hugged him back and chuckled. "How was I ever friends with such a nasty person?"

"Because you choose to see the good in people."

I shook my head and pulled away. "Not anymore."

"Hey—" before he could say anymore, I was called to the office.

"See you when I see you, I guess," I mumbled before turning in the direction of the office.