Hamilton One shots

cuts ( Jeffmads-angst)

pov. Thomas Jefferson

I came home to silence. It was odd, usually my fiancé, James was there waiting for me when I got home. It was too late at night for him to not be home yet, besides his car was in the drive. I walked through the house my panic growing as I did. I was about to call him when I noticed the bathroom door was shut. I knocked carefully on the door. No answer. the panic inside me grew.

"Jemmy" I called out, Knocking harder. Still no answer. this wasn't like him.

"JAMES" I cried out, Pounding of the door. There was no answer, James would always answer. He was always so kind  and polite. He was my everything and he knew that. He would never do this to me. I couldn't take anymore what if he was hurt, what if he was-" I cut off that train off thought not wanting myself to cry. I grabbed the knob and twisted it. The door didn't open. He had locked it. 

"JAMES,PLEASE" I cried, jiggling the knob. The other side of the door was deathly quiet. I couldn't take it anymore.  I kicked the door as hard as I could next to the knob. It still didn't work. on my third time the door swung open and tears sprang to my eyes. James was lying on the ground. He was in his boxers and a large t-shirt lying in a small pool of his own blood. There were small cuts covering his arms and legs. both of His wrists were slit and some blood was still trickling out of the wound. I looked at him carefully, he was still breathing.

"o-oh, J-Jemmy" I half sobbed, I sat down next to him and held his small body close to me. I pressed my head close to his chest to hear his heart beat. It was still beating. I kissed him softly before examining all the cuts littering is body. most of them looked fresh but I noticed some of them were at least a month or older.

"please stay with me" I said quietly as tears streamed down my face. I reached my trembling hand to my pocket dialing 911.

"Hello thank you for calling please state your emergency" I heard a lady say from the other end.

"I-I--I N-Need a-n ab-bulance" Managed to stutter out.

"sir, you need to calm down, please state why you need an ambulance" said the lady.

" I- My- J-Ja-mes- H-e Attem-ted Suci-de" I stammered the words tasting bitterly on my tongue.

"Sir please say your address and we'll send some one over, just try to stay calm till help arrives" she said in a soothing tone. I gave her our address before hanging up. I began to let out shaky breaths and stood holding James carefully. I walked  over to our couch and held him tightly while crying into his shoulder. Soon I heard ambulance sirens and loud bangs on our door. I opened it immediately. They took James from me and brought him to the back of the ambulance. After a bit of talking they let me into the ambulance with him. I sat in the back sobbing over James limb body as he laid completely still. when we made it to the hospital he was quickly rushed to the Emergency room. I tried to follow but I was stopped.

"Sir, I'm sorry but you can't go with him" He said calmly.

"B-But H-he's M-y J-James W-wh-at I-If H-He- I-If He" I half sobbed  trying to think clearly.

"Sir James is going to be okay, I'm sorry but you can't see him right now" He said, bringing me to the waiting room. I sat in one of the chairs silently sobbing to myself. I was curled up trying to make myself as small as possible praying that this was all just one nightmare and I would wake up with My Jemmy snuggled tightly in my arms.I had my hands covering my face trying to calm down before feeling a small tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw a small boy, he looked around five, had freckly pale skin and poofy curly hair I looked at him again only to realize his arm was in a cast.

"are you okay Mr." He asked poking my shoulder. I nodded slightly and he looked at me puzzled.

"you don't look okay" He said, rocking back and forth in his seat. He gave me a cheery grin.

"Daddy said that when someone's sad that means something bad happened, did something bad happen to you?" he asked. I nodded and he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Do you want a hug, Hugs always make me feel better?" He asked before I could nod someone rushed into the room.

"Philip" I heard and saw Alexander Hamilton along with John Laurens. Alexander's head snapped over to the boy next to me.

"There you are Pip You know- Oh my..." Alexander said trailing off when he saw me. I looked away from him and felt two small arms wrap around me slightly.

"Hey Pip can you come here for a second." I heard Laurens say. The little boy stopped hugging me and ran over to Laurens. Then Hamilton walked over to me with a sympathetic expression.

"hey um so Jefferson Is um everything okay" He asked slowly. I shook my head and his expression grew a little more confused.

"do you want to talk or..." He asked, sort of trailing off at the end.

"J-James H-he- c-cut- Wr-is-ts -b-bl-ood s-so m-m-much b-l-blood" I sobbed trying to make a sentence. Hamilton's eyes widened slightly and he awkwardly patted my shoulder.

"I'm sure James is going to be just fine, he couldn't have lost that much blood unless he stabbed a main artery or one of the cuts got infected or he overdosed on something before me cut himself or he hurt an important organ or he cut too deep, yeah he may have get stitches that would be bad also depending on how much blood he lost..." He said going silent at the look Laurens was giving him. He stepped away from me and Laurens walked up to me. He sat next to me and put a comforting hand on my shoulder smiling warmly at me.

"Hey so Thomas if I remember your name right, I'm sure James is going to be alright. You are so brave, you got him to the hospital and you probably just saved his life. even though you can't see him he's being helped by a ton of great doctors who will help him get better. Don't even think about all the little things that could happen because, you got him to the hospital and now he's safe. You've done all you can do a I'm sure that James will be just fine and hey even if something does happen just remember that he'll always still be with you in one way or another" He said making me feel a bit better.

"o-okay" I stuttered. he gave me a small pat on my shoulder and I was able to stop crying a little. after a little while of Laurens trying to comfort me and succeeding a little, a nurse walked up to me.

"You are clear to go see Mr. Madison now" She said. Laurens gave me a comforting smile and she led me down the hall to James room. I stepped inside and I gasped a little. 

"I'll leave you two alone" she said leaving the room. I slowly walked up to James, he was hooked up to a machine and his breathing was slow and shallow. A new round of tears formed in my eyes. 

"J-James P-lea-se, p-le-ase" I choked out before hugging him tightly. About two hours had passed before I felt James shift under me. I moved away as he moved a little more. He let out a small grumble and I gasped a little. His two perfect chocolate eyes fluttered open before he quickly closed them. I hugged him tightly tears of joy in my eyes and as I held him.

"Oh James! Oh my sweet little Jemmy. You're alive! You're Alive, Never do that to me again I- I thought I had lost you oh my precious little angel , I love you I love you " I cried snuggling him closer to me. He winced  in pain and I carefully let go of him. I noticed small tears in his eyes and I sat on the side of the bed next to him.

"T-Tommy" He sniffled. I hugged him more gently this time and rubbed his back a little.

"James, I love you so much so please, please talk to me. It's okay if you're sad, Just tell me and we can talk about it, I love you more than anything in this world so please never hurt yourself just tell me so I can help you" I whispered sweetly into his ear. He let out a small sob and burrowed his face into my neck. He cried and I rubbed his back softly while holding him closer.

"I-I L-lov-e Y-y-ou I love you Tommy" He sobbed in my neck. He sat there cuddling and crying to each other. soon his cries died down and he let out soft little snores. I smiled and cuddled him closer knowing he would be safe in my arms.