No Longer Spring - Writings of Yesterday

October 13

A blood bracelet was something that was introduced to me by one of the other sect disciples, back in the day. He was really into the forbidden and all kinds of alchemy that had something to do with blood ties and blood work. I would have been surprised if the bracelet from my hands wasn't even crafted my him. Such an elegant jewelry was containing the blood of the wearer, having a glowing tint to it when the owner of the blood  was around.
It was usually a gift for lovers since, once the donor got to kilometers apart, it would start to shine with every heartbeat that the person had. That way, both people would both know that the other one was alive or, perhaps, when they were close to each other without knowing.
It was a form of connection that even I liked the sound of.
That really made me wonder to whom it actually belonged. If it was the blood of the blind woman's brother, could he still be alive?
I had decided.
When I was going to get outside again, I was going to investigate that matter seriously. I gently placed it back into the pouch and planned to wear it once I were done with my sentence.

My hand trembled from the impact of the whip that was still limiting my movements, reminding me of the fine and sharp ache I had felt not so much time ago.
It wasn't my first time getting whipped, so I knew what was coming.
I didn't know weather knowing how badly it hurt made it easier or harder to take it, for every inch of my body had been asking me to move away from the whip, not wanting to deal with the pain again.
I shouldn't have trusted Jiang Fei, perhaps.
And, perhaps, I was really heading nowhere, digging a grave that had already dried out.

"Why are you here, young man?" The man asked in a low voice, breaking away the silence.

"I killed some of their people," I said, coughing, "what about you?"

"We didn't pay our fees..." it felt like he had wanted to say more, but stopped abruptly.

I'd have normally felt angry and ready to fight, if simply to bring peace to this old man's mind.
I was able to ignore many things, but when they got close enough to me and seemed to beg for a hand, I just couldn't stay still. I had witnessed every bit of disrespect this man has had and I could easily relate to his situation.

"You're a good man," he added, "thank you for trying."

I shook my disapprovingly as the chain around my hand moved. I turned to look at him, but he was simply starting at the wall in front of us.

"Maybe I should have just died there."

"Perhaps," I answered, "Maybe death would have been kind, if only to bring you a second of peace."

"True words you're saying, young man," he said, as if he still had the energy to muster some sarcasm and humor.

He finally moved to face me, seeing nothing but a shadowed form of mine. The light of the torches didn't reach as far as to enlighten us.

"Would you also want to die?"

I paused, letting his dried out voice echo through the cells.

"I can't die yet, I'm looking for someone," I didn't really feel like getting into the details once more, but I did anyways.

"Your family?"

"My cultivational partner."

"A lover, then?" He pressed on, quite into it.

"Yes." I answered. My time to stare at the wall had come, it's shades becoming increasingly interesting.

There was nothing but darkness around us, along with the echo of our own voices.
The prison felt so strange compared to the sun from outside as if it was another world by itself. It really made me think twice about not becoming a water ghost.

"A long journey ahead of you, I see. I wish I could say the same about myself, but you have your whole life ahead of you. If anyone takes something precious from your person, make sure to destroy them and make it as horrible as possible."

"I will."

It was as if he tried to smile, but the light from his eyes faded quickly.

"You will?" His voice was now fading away, as if the round of whips took away any existent life from within him.

"I will."

And so, silence overtook our prison, my companion not speaking any other word.
He seemed to be in the mood for a conversation, and so I looked at him again, breaking my staring session with the wall.
A conversation wouldn't have been so bad, after all.
His head was hanging onto the side, the rest of his body relaxed. Peaceful, even.

"Sir?"

No answer came, however, and when I saw his open eyes, I understood why.
Death had come to greet him in the dark cage of the HuoLong Sect, gifting him a moment of silence after all the days he had spent in slavery.
I looked away again, alone with my own person. I was used to seeing bodies, but being so close to someone I just spoke to felt unreal. How could he be there one second and permanently gone the next? my mind was never willing to grasp such a concept.

"May you rest in peace."

My chains moved again as the guard passed by us, checking every cell that had someone in it. Their steps sounded heavy and sharp, awaking the dizzy, bleeding side of me.

"Not very resistant, that old man."

"Says who? You beat him like there was no tomorrow. He was already sick, too."

And, with that, they took out his body and left without saying a word. I didn't comment, not quite wanting to be whipped again. Little did I know that it wasn't just a punishment, but something that was going to become normal and that was already happening everyday inside some of the cells. It was foolish of me to think that such humans had any real respect for anyone but themselves.

...

As I write this, It is the middle of my second week in here. I didn't want to cause any problems for the sect, respecting my past promises, but my patience is growing less and less stable. So, trying to be the same man when I meet you, I write this.
I had way too many thoughts, and so I understood that simplicity and ignorance are such a bliss.
Giving up on everything isn't so bad. There's terror above the law, and there's freedom under the rules. Times like these, it really feels like I am uselessly trapped by physics.
I am probably losing my mind, if I have to be honest.
It looks like the sky is nothing but a beautiful lie, a barrier and, as much as I adore it's beauty, it is a simple, sad reminder that we're nothing more than humans at the mercy of the current situation, so easily shattered by the simple fact that we exist.
I look as if I were nothing but an unhappy man not able to live his life, yet I simply refuse to accept my destiny, if that's what It should be called.
In a world so full of possibilities I refuse to believe that there is no way of getting you back, that I should leave at the mercy of fate. If you're gone, I'll bring you back.
If you have been stuck somewhere, I'll wreak a havoc no one has known before.
I have cultivated a lot, I have trained. I have waited for the day I get to call upon our revenge.
If I do it as an evil ghost, that's fine. If I do it as a cultivator, that's great.
I'll let the world know of my name so that you will walk by my side with pride, even after hearing of my sect. I'll make it so that they will remember how we roamed the world in the name of our clans and not only, protecting those that couldn't fight for themselves.
I hope that when you'll look at me, you'll still see the person that you once cared for.