No Longer Spring - Writings of Yesterday

November 28

I couldn't think. I was lost in the thought of having killed you. I was lost in the image of your face and I... I just couldn't believe it.
I left the house and I didn't even look behind me. I didn't even care about the people from the outside finding the mess. The only thing I could see in the back of my mind was nothingness.
I just didn't feel like a person anymore. It couldn't have been real.
I refused to- Gods, how could I even? How could I have refused to believe something just because it was too painful to accept?
It felt as if I didn't have enough room in my own skin anymore. I hated every part of me.
I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to explode, I wanted to do something. Anything.
I was ready to move on just to find myself be taken back way lower than I had already been since I lost you.
I should really have drank that poison I had.

My hands trembled as I held the sword I killed you with. How come you had been there of all places?
How could it have been possible? Was it really my sword? Many thoughts yelled in my mind, but none of them made any sense. I just couldn't accept the fact that this was how it ended. I had wanted it to be more than that, I had wanted it to be better than it was just to realize that the reality was nothing but a cruel joke. It  was I who killed you.
Taking the poison from my pocket, I poured some on the tip of my sword, watching as the iron turned black from its contents. Then, I kept it in my hand, trying not to break it to pieces as I walked towards the main house of the town.
If they were letting the common people live so desperately, I was going to free them and go down as I did. I was going to wreak every part of that feared place and if I wasn't strong enough, I was going to die trying. I was mad. How much damage could I have done? Not so much, perhaps, but the poison in my hands was a sight to behold. It was so toxic that simply touching it would have burned my skin. It was a collector's piece, to say so.

The people looked at me as if they had seen a ghost as I kept on walking, not really able to understand what was happening around me.
I couldn't hear a word from what they were saying as I focused on getting closer to the entrance and got through to the temple like building.
Even then, there had been no one to stop me, until more masked people came from the shadows. They tried jumping on me as I slashed through them all with my sword. Some of them tried jumping from behind, but they just couldn't manage to be fast enough as I spilled some drops of poison onto the ground.
The effect had been immediate as they fell down, clearing my path. There was nothing but redness in front of my eyes. If it was from all the blood or the adrenaline was hard to tell.
Eyes burned into my back as I touched the doorknob, another round of people surrounding me.
Even masked as they were, I could see nothing but your face in them all. It was all you. Only you.
I was finally driven back to reality when the skin from my arm had been cut, gaining the power to fight back.
It was now that the pain has started to sink in, coughing blood on my sleeve. The garden was nothing more than a territory of death when I finally entered the main room.

"You killed my father, and now you take out my clan?!"

"Is this why you sent me that gift earlier?" I asked, talking on a calm yet grave tone, "Is that it?!"

The man in front of me laughed. It must have been one of the men who fought in the fight between our sects.
He looked over my cuts and scoffed, a smug grin on his face.

"Is the poison taking effect already? You should get a cure as fast as possible," he said, getting up from his seat, "If you find one, that is. You're not the only one with a trick upon his sleeve. You might have won this fight, but will you really survive it?!" He laughed again.

"Shut up." I started walking towards him as I moved my sword swiftly. 

The brown, elegant room was dark. The stairs and the balcony were making it seem way bigger than it was, given the tall roof.
It was a pity that I had to destroy such a place, but it didn't matter. I would have destroyed anything coming my way if only to ruin myself in the process. It was about the time he closed in, bloodlust on his face.
The weapon he had was different- it was a sword three times bigger than the one I had. It was kept on his back, probably heavy. Beautifully crafted, but it was useless. It had the sigil of HuoLong Sect after all. He had been hand it hand with them, and his current sword was most likely the evidence I had needed.