House of Horrors || 18+

Chapter 14| Hannah & Nathan

When I finally go back through the door, I go straight to my room, collapsing on my bed; tears falling freely. I can't believe what I witnessed. Nathan's pain, so raw and exposed, echoes my own past. It reminds me of what I went through when I used to harm myself. Mine was different. I starved myself, made myself throw up after meals, and then not eat for weeks. I was never forced to starve like Nathan was, thankfully, but it's still the same in certain ways.

When I saw Nathan holding the blade, the desperation in his eyes; his blood dripping from his arm, my heart stopped. Time froze completely still. Then he hid from me. I saw the look on his face – he didn't want me to see him broken in the way that he is. He didn't want me to see the vulnerability, the shame; and I hate that. I hate it because I care about Nathan. Despite what he continues to try and convince himself of. I care about Nathan more than I have ever cared about someone before.

Despite everything; everything he hid from me, stalking me, the things he's done – even though most of them weren't even his fault, I'm still here. His pain, his fears, and even the darkness that shadows him can't push me away. That is how much I care about Nathan. It's this connection, this inexplicable bond that convinces me I need to show him he's not alone. I just need to prove that to him. He doesn't believe that someone could care about him, and that cuts through me like the sharpest knife.

I try to make myself comfortable enough to get some sleep but it just isn't finding its way to me. I'm awake, restless. Sighing, I throw my covers off of my body and walk down the stairs for something to drink.

Adding a bag of peppermint tea to a mug of hot water, I inhale the steam from the cup. I sigh. I really need some sleep, but I can't stop thinking about Nathan. I'm worried about him.

To calm my internal worry, I crawl through the door. I grabbed the homemade brownies that I made yesterday and took them with me, hoping that maybe it could cheer him up a little bit. Sweets always seem to cheer Nathan up. A small ghost of a smile appears on my face.

"Nathan?" I call out hoping he's awake and not sleeping.

"Princess?" He says quietly from his room. I tread lightly, each step creaking on the wooden floor until I reach him. When I walk through the doorway, I walk to him. He's laying on the bed, hugging his pillow. His bandages need to be cleaned. I grab the first aid kit from his bathroom and make my way back to him.

"I need to get your wrist cleaned." He nods, not making eye contact. My hand finds its way to Nathan's face, forcing him to look at me. "It's going to be okay. Okay?" I whisper, offering reassurance.

Opening the bottle of alcohol, I pour it onto a clean rag. "This is going to sting a lot, okay? Grab onto me if you need to." He nods, silent, bracing himself. I take a deep breath and begin cleaning the cuts on his wrist. He grabs my waist, squeezing onto me.

When his wrists are cleaned, he lets out a breath of relief. His hands never leave my waist. I add antibacterial cream to his arm and wrap it so it can heal properly.

I lay a kiss on his forehead before getting back up to put the first aid kit away. When I come back, Nathan is staring at the walls in a daze. He looks tired –fragile.

I sit back down behind Nathan. I start rubbing his shoulders and back, hoping to relieve some tension. He leans forward long enough to remove his shirt before leaning back into me. I move back enough to where I can lean into his pillows, but still be sitting up enough to support Nathan's weight laying on me.

Nathan rests his head on my chest, and instinctively, my fingers find their way through his hair, offering gentle strokes. He sighs deeply, a sound of contentment filling the quiet room as his breathing evens out into the rhythm of sleep. He lets out soft, quiet snores. I smile seeing peace on his face for the first time since his nightmare. It makes me really happy that I can give him comfort and that he trusts me enough to give him that comfort.

Hours later, he stirs, his peaceful expression twisting into one of fear. His murmured pleas cut through the silence, his body tense with the grip of another nightmare.

"Stop, I'm sorry, stop!" He mumbles. He thrashes around, and instead of trying to wake him like last time, I whisper in his ear, sweet nothings hoping to calm him. I begin running my hands up and down his back again.

"Please, I'm sorry, stop." I have to do everything in my power not to cry. He sounds like a kid being punished.

Nathan jumps up from bed frantically looking around, panicked and drenched in sweat; his breathing uneven and shallow.

"Hey, it's just me. I'm here," I say barely above a whisper, trying to soothe him. His bottom lip wobbles like a toddler, and a single tear falls from his broken eyes. I can't stop on my own at this point.

Nathan lays back down, holding me tightly almost as if he's afraid that if he lets go, I will disappear. "I'm sorry princess," his voice breaks.

I shake my head. "You did nothing, okay? Nothing at all. I'm not going anywhere either. I promise you."

"Thank you." He falls back asleep a while after. I don't. I'm too worried that if I did, he'd have another nightmare. I want to be there to comfort him if he does. So I stayed awake.

Comforting him until morning.

Nathan

I'm awakened by the feeling of fingers running through my hair. I don't move, afraid to break the moment. The memories of the previous few nights come rushing back - the nightmares, the blood, Hannah.

Her voice, soft and sweet, drifts over me. "Nathan, are you awake?"

"Mm-hm," I hum, too tired to form words. She's quiet for a moment, and I wonder if she's thinking of what to say.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Her question is gentle, and I know she isn't asking out of obligation.

I think about her question. Do I want to talk about it? Can I talk about it without falling apart?

"Not yet," I reply, my voice hoarse from sleep. "Maybe someday, but not today."

Hannah kisses my forehead, and the simple gesture means so much more than she realizes. "Whenever you're ready," she whispers, her arms wrapped tightly around me.

"Thank you," I murmur, closing my eyes.

"For what?"

"For being here. For caring. For everything."

She kisses my forehead again, and the feel of her lips against my skin sends shivers down my spine. "Always, Nathan. Always."

Her words, simple yet powerful, wrap around me like a protective shield, and for the first time in a long time, I feel safe. I feel loved.

As Hannah continues to stroke my hair. She whispers in my ear, "Nathan, you are going to be okay. You deserve happiness, and one day, you'll see that."

My heart squeezes painfully, her words bringing tears to my eyes. I can't remember the last time someone said anything nice to me, and the fact that it's Hannah - beautiful, kind, sweet, amazing Hannah - makes it even more meaningful.

I know we haven't known each other very long, but somehow, she gets me in a way that no one else ever has. She sees the broken, damaged parts of me and doesn't shy away. She accepts me for who I am, flaws and all, and that's something I've never experienced before.

The fact that she's willing to stand by my side, even when I'm at my lowest point, speaks volumes. And her words - that I deserve happiness - they echo through my mind, and for the first time in a long time, I believe them.

I don't know how or why, but Hannah has managed to chip away at the walls around my heart, and in doing so, she's opened me up to a world of possibilities I never thought possible. She's given me hope.

I may not be okay today or tomorrow, but with Hannah by my side, I know that one day, I will be.