shattered crown

Chapter 5

There's 2 more days until the announcement. 

And I'm in a training room, no, not the pretty one with floaral wardrobes. 

This room is dark. Glass windows on the ceiling, a dark, old, eerie feeling I get. 

There are swords here, axes, crossbows. There are metal tables. And some wooden too, and they look so old, it the worst way possible, this is a terrifying training room. 

I never thought this room would be in a royal palace. I turn around to face Issabella’s stone cold face, I am in deep confunsion, even more puzzled when the queen, my mother steps forward. 

“I-don't understand? What is this? Why am I here?” I ask, my voice shaking, my fear showing. And I have no shame about it, what this is, is enough to creep me out. 

“a princess is good as dead if she doesn't know how to fight.” maria says, confunsion drowning me. 

A princess is supposed to do nothing look pretty with it, a princess should have plans like, Tuesdays are for pedicure and Fridays are for attending a ball. Not fighting, not once in my life I have read or heard a sorry about a princess training to fight, to participate into violence and such masculine tenancy. Expect mulan ofcourse but thats a different story. A princess shall be the helpless one who needs rescue from the Prince who's willing to fight the evil dragon who is keeping her hostage and save the princess, but of course, that's fairy tale, this is real life. 

I don't have a problem with training, I fancy training, fighting, being responsible. I had multiple dreams of getting into the special forces, into military. Or if not thee military then the swat team, but of course, I have never talked about that to anyone. 

You see, England is not a settled country. It's spilted into multiple groups. The chatters, the rare wise ones, the rich posh ones, the imigrants, the family who is on news daily, the family who's neibourhood is only filled with pure yells, drug dealers and teenagers. 

But never normal. I remember in school I have never told anyome about what I wanted to do or be. I remember the teacher asking me what I wanted to be when I grow up, and what did I tell her? I just copied another girl, that girl simply said ‘I don't know yet’ And no one picked on her, the other girls who said a teacher, vet, or doctor got snickers and scoffs in returns by the classmates in the back. I said I didn't know yet, which was true. In my head I wanted to be a singer because I loved music, but that didn't mean that I was good at making music, I tried- but it felt so insecure with my voice wheen I had to sing it, I was so uncomfortable. It was just a desire not a dream. 

I also remember saying I want to be a footballer just because the whole girls said that, I almost gagged, I really don't want to be a woman footballer at all. 

I loved writing and I still do, I have 20 books of my own that I wrote, some only half written. 

I do want to fight. 

“we are trying so hard to be old fashioned royals, but that's not possible, the new world is cruel and a princesses should be skilled and powerful. Morgana, Chiara, alessia and many other princess's from Italy are well trained. You need to be too, my child.” she says softly, yet firmly. I nod and she steps forward, going to the brown wooden table, picking up something. 

“now, a dagger or crossbow?” I picked the dagger, which has a small red stone in the middle.