shattered crown

14

no one was killed, atleast. ive been injured more than 3 times. and cause i was careless and stubborn, i have to deal with almost unbearing pains. we won the fight but at what cost? they are all scolding me.

"i told you to come behind me, i told you to leave the arena as soon as you got injured!!!!" damien yells, such anger in his face that i cant even look him in the eyes. i feel like a foolish child.

"stop yelling at her...it was her first time." says a voice i rekon, marcus. "you shut up. dont even try speaking." i hate the way they listen to him, all the time.

"so what do you want me to do now then huh?" I ask, my voice is weak but I'm trying to keep it steady.
He scoffs a s gives me a look, he blows our a frustrated breath and runs an angry hand through his dark hair, looking away from me, from us.

"to shut the fuck up- ugh everyone get out, now." he's ays quickly, no one hesitates to march out of the room. I was about to get up but my ankle is killing me, I put a little weight on it and I almost screamed. I wince and sit back down, ready to explain to Damien that I can't walk out.
" you stay here idiot" he says în a quieter tone. He sits on a stool, his elbows resting on his knees, his heavy breathes slowing down.

"your temper leaves you fastly." I point out, quietly for our sake.
"do you really hate everybody and everything this much?" I add.
He doesn't say anything just stares at me, through his dark sapphire eyes.
His face is blank and his breathes has calmed down but his chest is still rising and falling back.

"just because I'm angry it doesn't mean I hate any of you." he says.
"any? Are you sure you don't hate me?"
"you, maybe you yes. But not everyone."

My face cringes, it's not like I'm suprised I'm just really stressed in the mind right now. I don't like this. Any.
"what did I ever do to you?" I ask, a fire spreading in my chest, my voice louder.
He shakes his head. "I heard that alot you know."
"no answer me, why do you hate me? Why the fuck am I here?"
He stays quiet. On purpose.
"I DON'T BELONG HERE. I WANNA GO BACK. I AM NOT SUITABLE FOR THIS LIFE. I DON'T WANT IT I DON'T I DON'T." I didn't realise how loud I was shouting, his brows are furrowed. And my face is wet, I didn't even notice that I'm crying.
"why... Why? Why?" I ask repeatedly as I break to my knees, hating myself for being this vulnerable. Hating him for seeing me like this. Hating the world For Putting me in this situation.
He doesn't scoff, doesn't look away. But oh, I am Sobbing.
I never cried this hard before, what I mean by that, I didn't cry. Like this for a long long time.
My tears are burning on my cheeks, my throat is salty and my chest hurts horribly. I just want everything be normal again, I want to be back in England, with Martin and Ella, not with these strange royals. I want to be able to go to school again, to be in my apartment and finally get the dog I always wanted, and the car too, and just be me, normal. I want to be okay..
I don't even notice his hand on my upper arms, I only did when he whispered "cmon" twice. He picks me up with ease, gosh I'm miserable. He puts me on the wooden table, holding me into place like Im a rag doll. Hes so serious and collected, on the other hand me, I'm sobbing and shaking. I'm looking up in his dark inky blue eyes, his hand on my uooer arm and his other hand on a drawer under the table looking for something, he pulls out a bantage and some scissors. My eyes didn't leave his and I hate it.
"no more crying. Causes a headache." he says in such soft tone that suprises me. He cups my face and wipes my tears away with his thumbs.

"can you walk on your ankle-"
"no. It hurts." I reply as soon as I heard him, because it does hurt alot.