Metanoia (Shubman gill×Ishan kishan)

Chapter 19

Ishan's POV

Almost three weeks passed in a mystifying blur. What started as a business deal,a strict professional relationship turned into a personal one.

I've ignored him for a long time.Behaved like a prude.Tried to ignore his existence.Gave him so many reasons to leave.Because I didn't want to drag him into my mess.I didn't. Thought he would get over this infatuation soon.I would get over him soon.I was utterly wrong.

Beacuse I never got over him.I couldn't,or,perhaps I didn't want to.

I trust Shubman.

Trust. The emotion felt like a foreign concept,because I gave up on it a long time ago. Still,I trusted Shubman,a total stranger.But somehow,he felt like a safe place.

It's mystifying how he still stayed.And It's terrifying how easily he was able to see right through me.

"You're zoning out again,Ishan". Shubman's voice pulled me out of my train of thoughts,before they could wreck a havoc.

"Oh..sorry",I apologised and started chopping the veggies again. I'm currently at Shubman's penthouse,cooking dinner with him.No matter how many time I have manipulated my mind to stay away,my heart always betrayed me at the end.

I always find myself running to his penthouse,almost 3,4 days a week. And it has been a ritual for the past few weeks,almost a month.

"What were you thinking about?",Shubman asked,wrapping his strong around my waist,and pulling my smaller body closer to his chest.

Over the period of time,I have gotten comfortable around Shubman.Not a lot,but definitely a lot more progress.I don't really flinch or retract when he touches me or remains in the same vicinity as mine.I like this proximity.I like him.

"Nothing,just...office,work and all..yeah",I said with a bit of hesitation,and Shubman caught on that.

His large hands squeezed my hips,making me jerk up. "Hmm,and what's the truth?",Shubman said,dropping his head in the crook of my neck.

Seconds passed by,nothing but silence between us.The words were at my head clawing to be spitted out ,but they were petrified to be on the tip of my tongue.

Shubman will get tired of me.

Shubman will leave me.

The thoughts have been digging their ugly claws inside my mind since the very first day.

I don't want to say the words out loud and ruin everything. We have just started.I can't ruin this by saying something stupid.

Shubman gave another tight squeez to my hips,silently repeating the same question he asked a few minutes ago.

"I..i-"

"Only the truth,Sweetheart",his deep,calm voice cutting through my fakery. His tone was calm,but I know him,and I know how much he likes control.How easily he could read me. How easily he could control me.

Shubman would leave me.

Waves of panic started to rise,making my ears and face turn red.My fingers were starting to feel cold. No,not again.No.

"Sweetheart",Shubman's voice was low. His rough hands sinking inside my t-shirt,rubbing my belly in a soothing manner,while simultaneously giving soft,feathery kisses all over my neck.

Shubman definitely felt my panic rising and he did what he thought would be the best. And it worked.Although I'm still shaky,and my heart is still pounding like a lunatic,I didn't break out a sweat,I didn't cry or choked on my sobs.Somehow and in someway,Shubman knew how to calm me down.And it worked.It always works,atleast during the minor attacks.