All I want to to, everyday, all day, is sit and read smut, and cure my horniness. Eating Oreos, watching 50 shades of grey, and reading my god forbidden, unholy, Jesus needing books.
Honestly, I am scared of getting fat, so I don't. I mean I do, but only at night. During the day I am physically active. At night I am most mentally active.
I love cheese, but like... Mostly when it's on stuff. I hate people, I want to lock myself in some desolate little room filled with filthy books and junk food. Where I never have to interact with these other two legged walking bitch sticks that roam this planet.
I wish I could just be stupid 24/7, do stupid shit, say stupid shit. Walk into a store tell everybody to fuck themselves and leave.
In reality, I am a shy ass motherfucker. I can't even approach a homeless person to give them money (pov you don't have any money to give in the first place).
Get out they say, go have fun they say, your young they say.
Bitch I am mentally like 30 years old, okay, I have had sex with Abt 40 different guys in my head with every new phase I enter. I am the eldest sibling so I practically raised my two younger siblings all while withstanding the abuse my parents put me through (like most older siblings).
Ever been locked in a dark closet by your dad for hours with no food or water while your brothers would come by and bang on the door making you almost shit your pants as you cry yourself to sleep cuz you think fucking chucky is above you on the shelf about to skin your fucking face?
And people wonder why I am scared of the dark.
I ate raw bacon as a kid, I didn't die (unfortunately) I didn't even get sick. I just, got yelled at. Oh yeah then there was that time (idk wtf I did) but my mom made me do pushups until I was in tears crying and when I literally physically couldn't do anymore she threatened to bee with a belt.
"What is that one line from your childhood you never forgot?"
When I was asked that I had no clue how to answer considering the line I heard the most was.
"I'm gonna beat your ass until you can't sit for a week."
Like god damn sorry I put the door handle on the door backwards, fuck. I'm sorry I didn't do the dishes or mop the floor properly, I'm sorry I didn't walk the dog, I'm sorry I didn't get the perfect 90% or above score you wanted me to get, I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up, I'm sorry I'm even breathing.
Like when do we ever get a break, they said it was easy being a kid. To get everything for free, sure it may be physically free. We may not be supporting a household, or raising kids. The price we pay with our mental state, is worth more than any money.
I prefer being an adult and being on my own, working and cooking and cleaning. Than being a child and being yelled at, ridiculed, and harassed.
-Me
YOU ARE READING
My shitty fucking life
RastgeleThis will probably be added to my story orphanage full of unfinished and forgotten stories but I'll update this on all the shitty BS that goes on in my life. Think of it as an anonymous Diary right, y'all don't know me, but y'all gonna know my life...
