Sarah Montana Living In The Boys' Dorm

Ch 17. I Can Fill Up 10 Buckets With Tears

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Somehow I thought that this chapter was hard to write. It didn't flow like every chapter always do. I stopped every 10th second which annoyed me.

Here it is!

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Clear. And run! I felt my hair flying in the sky and slammed the door as soon as I reached it. I'm in the music room! There was a grand piano and many guitars hanging on the wall. There was everything I needed in here! I love this school after all.

Hours flew pass. It's like I was in heaven, and this piano had a great sound. Before I knew it, it was late and I was tired. I opened the door and guess who I see?

"Sarah?"

"D-Darrén..."

"What are you doing here? Visiting your boyfriend?" He was shocked to see me.

"N-No... I have a... contract with this school. Please don't tell anyone about it!" I begged. He laughed.

"It's fine... I won't tell. So you come here every night?" I nodded.

"I just started today..." This is sooo embarrassing. "What are you doing here? I didn't think that you'd be into music."

"The music room is so quiet and peaceful... I come here when I'm bothered of something and just want to think." This guy is deep isn't he? But I wonder what he's bothered of since I knew that he's been a bit distant. I went back to the piano.

"Wanna talk about it?" I smiled and played something calm. He shook his head.

"I haven't really gotten into it myself... Maybe some other day." I nodded. Get a better subject. My hands stopped it's movements and I walked to the window, looking out and studied the beautiful sunset. It was orange and had a bit small lightening of pink and other colors that I couldn't describe. It was so beautiful.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurted. That's not something good to talk, about what am I doing?! What if there's an ex he has that hurt him and now I remind him of her?! If it's Darrén I bet that he had hundreds of girls. And I bet he isn't a virgin.

"No."

Okay. Comfirmed-... wait. What did he say?! Every girl screams for this guy! And he haven't even had one girlfriend?! That shocked me to death.

"You gotta be kidding me." I had to say, it's like my mouth couldn't shut up. He twisted his shoulders in a strange way and just shrugged like it's obvious.

"I had one in kindergarten but since I got to know that she's a bitch I got kind of scared of girls." He looked at me with serious eyes. I turned away from the beautiful sunset and glued my eyes on him.

"But not everyone is like that!" I whined. I just don't want a stupid bitch to ruin his life.

"But all girls are two-sided." I wanted to protest but I couldn't. I'm even worse. I am three-sided. Or maybe two since the guy-side may not count as a girl. But I can't say anything since I'm guilty too. The atmosphere was terrible. I even had an urge to take down one of the guitars hanging on the wall and hit it on the piano because I couldn't take it anymore, even though I love the piano's sound I could sacrifice this creature just to get away this atmosphere.

"But..." I finally said. "You don't understand how nice it can be to have a relationship with someone you really love." Not that I know. I have never had a single relationship in my entire life. Just want to help this guy.

"Yeah, because you have Chris." he added. Oh yeah, he thinks that I'm Chris's girlfriend. He looked down and studied his shoes.

"Have you never even liked someone?!" I asked.

He was like a statue. He always was since I have thought of him as a robot that doesn't have feelings but this time it was different since it looked like he was shocked.

"You have someone you like?!" I assumed.

"Oh fuck this! This is so fucking wrong in so many ways!" he shrieked as he flew up from his chair, grabbing his hair like it's the biggest crime ever.

"There's nothing wrong with liking someone!" I tried to explain but he wouldn't listen.

"You know nothing at all! I may be looking like I have the best life but I'm fucking crushing at someone I shouldn't crush at and my life sucks! I'm just fucking working with modeling so that I can get away from my mom!"

That left me speechless. He just walked around the big music room and mumbled by himself when I thought of the next move. What can I say? It's true. I don't know a fucking shit.

"Then teach me."

He turned around, amazed that I just said that.

"Tell me how you feel! Tell me so that I'll know! Teach me everything!" I almost yelled. He just stood there, again like a statue.

I cry easily. I can cry only when seeing a movie and a character die, or even just move away. I can even cry if the mean girl dies or something even if she deserves it. It's not that I like the mean girl, it's just that everyone has their reasons. It's always that the protagonist gets all the attention first and they all feel bad about her and everyone is at her side, but no one knows because the if someone looks at the means girls view they'll know that she's doing the right thing or something. I'm simply a crybaby. But sometimes when I know that I shouldn't cry I stay strong.

But this time it didn't really work.

Tears flushed and bet that I looked awful, while smudging my mascara that I had a hard time to put on before I arrived. He saw it clearly and he couldn't talk. Seems like it's a first time he's made a girl cry - at least in front of him.

"Just forget it. I just want you to open yourself up and stop suffering so much. But seems like it really is a bad timing." I tried to say but some sobbing came in the way. He walked with big steps to me and grabbed my arm.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you but..."

"Then what?!"

He looked away, as if it wouldn'tbe a good idea to look into my face. Those feelings from before came back. "Am I that ugly?" echoed into my head. "Am I that disgusting?!" came up after the first one had echoed a hundred times.

"I... I can't tell you." he stuttered.

"Why?!" More tears. And even more. How delighted I am of these record-breaking tear amount.

"Uh...-" He scratched his back head, trying to come up with a good reason hiding the "I don't like you" thought and "You're ugly" thought. Maybe it doesn't seem like it but I did have a complex about being ugly and disliked before in my first year of middle school but I came over that wall after a year. Stopped caring. Do your thing, and let the others to their thing. They have nothing to do with you. But all those helping thoughts just seemed like crap right now. It's like all the troubles I had before just came back, like I just got cured from the flu and then I drank water that someone had just put poison of the flu so that I got sick again. This is sickening.

And this guy brought it all back. He's the one who poisoned me! Okay, calm down Krystal. Or Sarah. Chris? Who the hell am I?! I've just messed up my life.

"I know, you don't like me blah blah, and you think that I'm not pretty enough to be able to hear your problems."

"N-No-" he said but I interrupted him.

"Oh take it easy pretty boy! You might get caught with me so I'll leave!" I teased him.

"Stop it! I am not someone who-" Interrupting ~~

"Hey Darrén. Why don't you - the little rich boy just go to therapy? You seriously need it."

"Let me talk!" he yelled, and I saw his anger. "It's nothing like that! I just barely know you!"

"Then get to know me!" I yelled and opened the door, running.

Running and running.

Away.

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