It Takes Two

Did I Mess up?

Avery did eventually come out of her room and she did meekly apologize to Andy for her behavior. Jake couldn't help but be relieved by that. He knew she would be fine and get over it, but he also knew that the tantrum was just a symptom of how she was feeling.

She was lashing out because five years olds aren't equipped to handle the feelings and emotions that came with coming to terms with your mother not wanting you.

It was creeping towards one in the morning now, and Jake was still wide awake, staring off into space as he struggled to rid his mind of the thoughts plaguing him. He had already called Avery's counselor to see if he had royally fucked up his kid, but no.

If anything, her counselor had praised him for how he handled it and for using a television show as an example. He tried to explain to her that fucking Boy Meets World wasn't planned, but she still insisted that it was a good way to help Avery understand what happened.

"She's going to be six soon, and she's a smart kid, so would've figured it out even if you didn't tell her outright. It's better that you had this conversation with her rather than let the feelings of being unwanted fester as she gets older." Her counselor said over the phone, but Jake still couldn't help but feel like he messed up.

Jake laid his head in his hands. He couldn't help but feel like he had done irreparable damage to his child and she would never recover.

How would Avery ever cope with this? Would she hate him for this? Did she blame him for her mother leaving? He couldn't explain to her that Clara cheated. She was too young to understand any of that.

Jake didn't know what to do anymore. How long would it be until she was able to get over it? Would she ever get over it?

A weak part of Jake wanted to call Clara. He knew this was all because of her, but he still felt like she would know what to do.

It was either her or his mom, but obviously his mom wasn't an option. Times like this, Jake really fucking missed his mom. She always knew exactly what to do or say. Carolyn always had a way of solving all of Jake's problems.

Crow walked up to him and sat down next to his feet, staring up at him in confusion before he bonked his head into Jake's leg.

"Go away, Crow." Jake groaned, wanting to spiral in peace. The cat continued to poke and prod at him, but Jake wouldn't give him any attention so he eventually walked away, meowing at Jake as if to tell him off.

Jake wanted to laugh. That cat was so dramatic. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair, stress overwhelming him as he tried to get his mind to shut up for five seconds.

He stood up and started pacing back and forth in the living room. Avery had been fine after she left her room, she didn't even complain about the no TV for the night, but Jake still felt like all of this could have been avoided if he hadn't have told her about Clara.

Jake went through the many scenarios of how that event could have played out. He knows his kid, he knows that if he had avoided the question or tried to lie, she would have known and it would have made everything worse.

Jake knew that logically, but right now logic was as absent as his ex wife.

He glanced at his daughter's bedroom door. He wanted to check on her, but didn't want to wake her up. Jake just wanted her to be okay and to be happy. That's all he's ever wanted.

Jake looked to Andy's door, and paused.

No.

He was not about to wake Andy up this late at night just because he was overthinking and couldn't sleep. Jake knew he needed to talk about this before it actually drove him insane, but he didn't want to bother Andy.