Peintures vivantes - Joseph Descamps

Rencontres (in)désirées

As soon as I hear that unmistakable voice, I freeze instantly, and without thinking, I clutch a small piece of glass in the palm of my hand, injuring myself.

I slowly look up, terrified and eager at the same time, and meet a gaze I have not seen in a long time. My heart soars, and begins to beat in my chest frantically as I stand before his watchful gaze.

I had not forgotten the colour of his eyes: impenetrable, amused, seductive. I swallow loudly, and take a step back, moving slightly away. He has changed a lot, at first glance: he has let his curly hair grow a little, has a few hints of an unkempt beard, and still wears an eye patch.

"Romy, your hand is bleeding!" exclaims Helene approaching me and grabbing my hand, dropping the small piece of glass. I step out of the emotional trance and quickly return to reality, feeling a sharp pain in my hand. "Don't worry, I'm fine. Sorry again." I apologise, but as I make to walk away, I hear footsteps catch up with me.

Joseph passes me and stands in front of me, observing me. "Are you hurt?" he asks me in a calm voice, while I avoid his gaze with difficulty. I squeeze my cut hand to soothe the pain, and feel my heart throb in my palm.

"I'm fine." I answer quietly, passing him, and, increasing my pace, I disappear into the kitchen, then lock myself in the dressing room. In a moment of suspense, I burst into tears, and bring my injured hand close to my face in pain. Fuck all this hurts.

After a few minutes, I hear a knock at the door, along with a "Romy, what's going on?" I sob, trying to be as quiet as possible as Olympe enters the closet and joins me worriedly.

"Oh God!" she exclaims on seeing me, and promptly takes me out of the closet and into the bathroom, where she forces me to put my hand under cold water. For a few moments, the pain soothes, and I feel relieved. "Stay still here. I'm coming." Olympe orders me, disappearing.

She returns a few minutes later, with a medical kit in her hands; I am still holding my palm under running, icy water. She carefully disinfects my hand and wraps it tightly. "Thank you, really." I thank her, grateful. Olympe looks at me questioningly.

"What happened?"
"Nothing, I saw someone I didn't want to see again. I simply cut myself with a piece of glass. I'm going back to work now." I answer convinced, and making to leave the bathroom, I am stopped.

"No, you're crazy. You need to pull yourself together, you've hurt yourself enough Romy. Go outside and get some air." Olympe advises me before going back to work, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I decide to go outside to breathe fresh air, under my friend's advice, and sit silently on the steps of the exit.

Time seems to stretch. Seconds pass? Minutes? I don't know how much time passes, I only know that my mind is completely stuck in that look and those eyes, which for years, I have hoped not to see again.

"Romy! There you are!" Helene's voice rings out behind me. I hear her walking hastily towards me, but I decide to remain seated and still, my gaze fixed on the busy road of cars. Helene crouches next to me, quite concerned. "Have you recovered?" she asks, smiling at me and checking my hand.

I feel his gaze weighing on my shoulders, a feeling I did not think I would feel. I get up with Helene, and turn around. Our eyes glue together, studying each other, wondering about the events of all the years we have been apart.

"I am better. Sorry about earlier. I really messed up." I admit, with a nervous laugh. I see Joseph light a cigarette and bite it between clenched teeth, a mixture of amused and impaneled.

"Now you're lamer than before. You know, it's not a good omen to drop salt." He comments dryly, inhaling the acrid smoke of the cigarette. How much (not) have I missed you Descamps. How much (I didn't) miss your snarky comments and defiant smirk.

"Oh come on Jo, does that sound like something you should be saying to her right now?!" resumes Helene impatiently. I remain speechless.

Jo?

I watch her approach him with a light step, and run her fingers through his messy hair.

I stand still and observe them, confused. Very confused. 'Anyway, long time no see Romy! Henri tells me a lot about you and Annick. How are you?" asks Helene in a light, curious tone of voice, returning close to me. Descamps and I remain in front of each other, but far apart.

"We are fine, yes. We study here at the university." I tell through clenched teeth. He is still there, still as a stockfish, cigarette between his thin lips.

"How nice! I know you study maths together with my brother. My parents want me to study the same thing next year." Helene snorts.

I remain silent. I have no desire to converse with anyone while the shadow of my past watches me judging me. "Well..." Helene adds embarrassed.

"Are you still in high school?" I ask her.
"Yes!" she replies enthusiastically.
"And why are you here?" I ask her, dropping a nice big mortal bombshell. I see Joseph stiffen, and Helene shut up for a few moments.

"I came to see Joseph." She admits, smiling at him, who, however, remains quite serious. I raise an eyebrow, and the challenge begins again. "Oh Joseph, right. You're together, I take it?" I say defiantly.

"Yes." Helene confirms, watching me worriedly. As everyone involved with the Voltaire High School knows about the history between Descamps and me, Helene also knows that he and I were together for quite a long time.

"And what are you studying Joseph?" I ask defiantly, as old wounds reopen at the sight of his gaze. Descamps finishes his cigarette and tosses it down the drain, moving closer to me, and placing a hand on Helene's shoulders, noticeably shorter than him.

Our eyes are glued together, and they do not relent. They won't relent, as if they want to tell each other something they don't know. "Philosophy." He replies, smiling at me. The same smile that had made me fall in love with him the first time our eyes met. It won't happen again.

"philosophy is not for losers?" I ask him, and receiving no reply, I dismiss Helene with a nod of my head, smiling at her, and turning away. I silently re-enter the bar, leaving everything behind.

After finishing my shift, I change into my uniform, and after collecting my bag, I go out and head for the library, furious. As soon as I arrive, I look for my friends, and after spotting Annick and Henri, I increase my pace towards them.

Henri, seeing me, draws Annick's attention as he looks up from a book, and they both smile at me. "Hello!" Henri greets me radiantly, just before I grab him by the collar of his shirt.

"Henri!!! Why didn't you tell me your sister is engaged to Descamps!!! What kind of friend are you??" I ask furiously, under the dumbfounded gaze of him, and questioning of Annick.

"It was you who forbade me to talk to you about Descamps, remember?" he replies frightened.

I freeze and remain silent, letting go of his crumpled shirt collar. "Oh, yes..." I admit, apologising. As I bring my hands to my face, obviously shaken, I feel one of Annick's hands rest on my shoulder.

"Have you met Descamps?" she asks me, but without getting any response. "Shit..."

"Girls, shall we go to the library then? The exam is coming up, we have to study. Let's go, come on!" exclaims Henri in a strained voice, to change the subject. All three of us enter the library and are immersed in a silence, deafening to me. 

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

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