Her Choice

Chapter 21

Olivia is going to be buried today. I still haven't come to terms with the fact that she's gone.

I swear that I can still hear her voice and laugh in the halls of this silent house.

I still see her face everywhere. It's driving me insane.

Mum and dad are getting stronger with each passing day. I'm happy about that, at least. My mum genuinely laughed today. She was telling a story about Liv again.

Paris is stronger, too. She keeps going on and on about Alpha.

A few days ago, I was ready to tell Alpha about my feelings, but now, I have no interest in those feelings anymore.

They're pretty much dead now.

Laroi has been around all the time. It's nice. Having him around.

He doesn't pressurise me to not be OK. He hasn't even asked that question again. I talk more around him than any other person. Paris is on about that, too.

I'm at the graveyard with him right now. I couldn't bear the ride to get Olivia from the mortuary, so I came here instead.

The spot where they're going to lay her is already dug out. In a few hours, she'll be gone forever. Forever.

I'm standing over that very spot willing myself not to cry.

Laroi hasn't said a word since we got here. I'm grateful for his silence. I can't bear talking. I can't handle talking without crying.

Is she really gone?

She can't be. She'll come running to me with my parents now. I know she will.

Deep down, I know that won't happen. Deep down, the strong part of me knows she's gone. I'm just not ready to accept it.

The sound of tyres coming from the gates pulls me away from my shattering thoughts. They're here. She's here.

This is it. Will she run to me, or will she be laid here?

I and Laroi walk over to them. With every step, my heart sinks in and in. She's not coming out. No one is running to me.

We get to the car. Olivia didn't run to me. I see the coffin, and my walls begin to fall apart.

I'm trying to keep my composure. They all can't see me break down.

Some men carry the coffin to its place. My mum comes behind me and walks with me.

The guests have arrived.  Everyone is sitted, and my dad has started the ceremony.

I take my seat by Laroi and Paris while my mum says a little word about Liv.

As expected, she breaks into tears and is not able to finish her speech.

Paris goes up after her. She's stronger than all of us. She even laughs, reliving some memories, but in the end, she ends up crying too.

It's my turn now.

"Hi." I take a deep breath. I have to do this without crying.

"My sister was an amazing person. She saw the little things in life and found joy in them. Olivia was always ready to help. She cared about everyone passionately. Her heart was one of diamonds. She always found the good in every case. The good in every person. She found the good in me when all I could see was bad. She loved me more than I loved myself, more than I loved her. Liv was always there for me, to advise me, to laugh with me, to play with me, even just to talk. She made sure she wasn't a ghost in my life but a true part of me. I didn't appreciate her well enough. I didn't tell her how much I loved her. To be honest, most of the time, I took her for granted, and now she's gone. I'll miss her every hour of every day. I'll live with her memories and make her so proud. Thank you, Liv, for all the love and laughs. I'll never forget you. I love you, now and always."