Your Afterlife (Alastor x reader) Hazbin Hotel

Chapter 10: Progress

Timeskip 5 months:

The last 5 months, I've been dedicated to work on myself. I've looked deep inside of myself and reflected basically everything about myself in my journal. And it has actually been helping a bit.

I might still take a while to overcome my flaws and mental health issues but finally I can see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. If I keep it like this, I know I can actually improve myself.

What else has happened the last 5 months?

Well, my best friend Angel is officially dating Husk by now. Angel is happier than ever. And whenever he tells me about becoming closer and closer to Husk, I feel so happy for him. Tho I wish I also had this rare feeling of total happy love. I wish I had that in my life too. I mean... I have Angel as my bestie... and well... Alastor. Even tho we have consistently been getting closer and closer as well in the last 5 months, the progress is very slow compared to Angel & Husk. Oh y/n, could you finally stop comparing? I thought I was making progress. Sorry.

Well uhm yes... me and Alastor have been going out to eat in restaurants, sometimes he takes me with him on his errands, sometimes we visit Cannibal Town together to have a nice chat with his good friend Rosie, sometimes we hunt down sinners in the open and plot plans on taking down bigger ones. Those meetups basically are dates. He just refuses to call them that way.

I mean... we got to know each other better by talking lots, having chemistry, opening up at each other more and more and occassionally kissing shorly. On the lips even!

Despite him not wanting to admit it but I think he is growing really fond of me. I may be delusional but I feel like when I look into his eyes, he genuinely cares and likes me quite a lot. Also, he has fully healed by now.

Apart from that... I've sometimes participated in Charlie's and Vaggie's redemption programme for the sinners of the hotel. We did some trust exercises, wholesome theater plays, accepting another one's boundaries, wholesomeness, supporting another person, being selfless, act out of love, etc. And they also contributed to helping with my self esteem issues. Participating also enabled me to get to know Charlie and Vaggie a bit better.
I really like Charlie. She has such a big heart and would do everything for her people. Vaggie on the other hand takes lots of time until she warms up to someone. I respect her tho.

Weirdly enough, Vox and Val actually haven't attacked again and haven't even tried. Seems as if everything is being fine. Perhaps the beginning of my time at the hotel was a bit chaotic and troublesome. But now since the time of settling in has passed, it's actually nicely peaceful now. I really like it here.

Someone knocked on my door. I walked to my door and opened it. It was Alastor.

His smile actually reached his eyes upon seeing me: "Good morning, my darling! I hope you had a lovely sleep."
I smiled at him: "Good morning, love! I indeed had a lovely sleep and I hope you did too. Come in!"

He stepped in my room and I closed the door behind him. Ever since we've been "dating", he doesn't sneak up on me anymore!
Which I very much appreciate.

We sat down on my bed next to each other. His smile took a forceful expression again:
"Y/n, you should know that I've made a deal in my past. I'm still bound to it. I had no other choice but to take the deal. Otherwise, I would have died. It very much restricts my actual power. And since my cane is no more, I'm pathetically powerless now. I... finally have to find out whether the constraints of my deal have any backdoors."

I hummed: "What if you pretend to Charlie that you're actually giving redemption a shot? And once she believes entirely that you've changed for the very good... you tell her about your deal? And then she will probably even insist on helping you and she might be able to free you of the deal?"

With a hint of hope in his eyes, he replied: "I suppose this might indeed be worth trying out. Charlie has such an abundance of the want to believe the good in people, I don't have to force her into helping me by having a deal with her. It would be enough to just ask her for help after gaining her full trust. A pity that I had already made her make a deal with me before the extermination."

I raised my eyebrow in utter confusion: "What the hell are you waiting for then?"
He giggled madly: "Timing, y/n. Everything is about good timing."

I chuckled: "You like keeping everyone on their toes, don't you?"
He smirked: "Oh I LOVE keeping everyone on their toes!"

He shortly carressed my hair carefully. He then asks: "How about I cook some delicious jambalaya for us, my darling? My mother once showed me a wonderful recipe for jambalaya. In fact, it nearly killed her!"
I whispered: "It's very unsettling you're saying that it nearly killed your mother while you're smiling widely."

He chuckled: "What shall I say? One is never fully dressed withou-..."
I interrupted: "... a smile! I know, Al. You keep saying it over and over."
He grunted: "It was inpolite of you to interrupt me."
I sighed: "Sorry, darling."

After a few seconds, another question came up in my mind: "You are really gonna cook jambalaya for freaking BREAKFAST?"

He smirks: "We're in Hell, dear. Choice of breakfast doesn't matter. Usually, I have a third of an entire raw deer for breakfast!"
My eyes twitched: "Sounds... delicious."

He chuckled: "I strongly advise you to only say it if you really mean it. Because if you meant it, I would invite you into my room to share the raw deer meat with you, my darling."
I gulped and then said: "You... have never invited me into your room before."

He silently said: "I don't let anyone into my room lightly. I would make an exception in that case as it would be a very special occassion as I've never had the delight to share such an intimate moment of eating raw prey with another individual together."
I stuttered nervously: "I've never had raw meat before..."

He softly giggles while stroking my hair: "There's always a first time for everything, dear. You're welcome to try it."
I frowned.
He whispered: "It would make me feel really connected to you."

Uncomfortably, I said: "What makes you say that? Are you trying to manipulate me into saying yes?"

He shudders: "Oh. I didn't intend to. I'm still not used to not using a person only for my personal gain. But I'm trying to shake this habit off... around you."

I raised one of my eyebrows: "You're calling something as serious as manipulation... simply a habit of yours?"
He smirked: "Sinners aren't good people, doll."
I argued: "I'm a sinner yet I wasn't a bad person. The only thing I did that brought me here was to commit suicide."

In a curious tone, he asked: "Do you ever regret your decision, darling?"

I was thinking for a few moments, replying: "Yes and no at the same time. Yes because I'll never know what would have been if I stayed strong. Would I have eventually been happy? Would I have managed to eventually turn things for the better? Would I have managed to find someone to love? Etc. Etc.
But also no because of pressure. Pressure coming from myself to live a life that society would approve of. Pressure coming from society to be a functioning member of it. Pressure coming from work to be flawless, perfect and totally ready to do your 100% every second every 8 hours of the work days."
He whispers: "I understand."

He just remains silent for a few moments until he asks: "Y/n, say, are you happy with me?"