Not Just Another Boy Next Door

Chapter 8

Aunt Loren is reading on the couch when I arrive back at the house, the television playing low on some crime drama channel. I am drenched from the rain and flushed from everything else, giving her a forced but hopefully convincing smile. I attempt to calm my breathing but fail miserably, running a hand through my mussed-up hair.

"Rome! You're soaked!" Her eyebrows shoot up and she sets her book facedown on the cushion, clearly ready to grill me on my whereabouts.

"Oh yeah, my bad. We got caught in the rain."

"You and Beck?"

Oh boy.

"Yes...you said it was okay, right?"

"Oh yes, of course. I was just worried about you because of the storm, I expected you home a little sooner once I saw it started to pour. What did you guys do?"

"We just rode our bikes, went down to the beach-" That definitely catches her attention as she interrupts me, waving her hand in the air and pointing out the window.

"The beach? You should know that's incredibly dangerous in this type of weather, especially lightning!"

"You're right, I'm really sorry. We didn't expect the rain to be so bad, I guess." I sound remorseful and I mean it, the obvious concern for my safety written all over her face. Aunt Loren sighs and nods her head, seeming to indicate her acceptance of my pathetic explanation.

"Alright, then. So how'd it go? You and Beck are...friends now?" I hesitate to respond, giving her a questioning look but choosing to reply semi-truthfully.

"Yes, I think you could say we're friends now. Or maybe almost friends, I don't even know. It's complicated. Beck is..."

"Complicated?" She finishes my sentence for me and grins, easing the slight tension between us and allowing me to relax a little.

"Yes." I sigh. "Beck is complicated." I sit beside her on the couch and she puts her arm around me despite my damp attire, both of us seeming to move on from the 'Beck' topic.

"So, have you called your dad lately?" My heart sinks instantly, the mention of my father replacing the lightened mood altogether with a heavy layer of guilt.

"Uh...not really. I replied to his text the other day, though."

"Well that's something, I guess, but I think he'd rather hear your voice." She seems to examine my face as she pulls away and looks at me, her brown eyes softening before her next question. "What about your mom?"

"Um, not for a while. She's busy, you know. Traveling." Images of Mom race across my vision, flitting like one of those ViewMaster toys I used to play with when I was a kid. A kaleidoscope of snapshots showcasing her warm eyes and soft brown skin fly through my mind, memories of her smile and laugh weighing heavily on my chest. She's in Paris right now 'finding herself' and although she won't ever admit it...I don't think that journey really includes me.

"I think they'd both appreciate hearing from you, especially your dad." I sigh in resignation, nodding and pulling out my cell phone.

"You're right, Aunt Loren. I'll call him now." I stand up and put the phone to my ear, walking down the hall as the line rings on the other end. I prepare myself for a possible speech as the line hits a third ring before my dad answers, his familiar voice filling me with a homesickness I didn't realize I had until this moment.

"Well hey, RoRo!" I hate it when he calls me that...but I'll never tell him. It would break his heart.

"Hi, Dad. How have things been at home?"

"Oh, you know. Good, all good. New York is New York, work is work. I miss you though, kid."

He sounds tired.

"I miss you too, Dad. I'm sorry I haven't called more."

"Oh that's okay, son. You been staying out of trouble? Been reading like I told you?"

"Maybe not as much as I should be." I admit sheepishly, erupting a chuckle from both my dad and then myself.

"That's alright, kid. As long as you're having fun and being reasonably good for your aunt. She's really been looking forward to this time together." I gulp, hoping that he can't sense my rising guilt. "Plus, you'll be doing plenty of reading once you get to Columbia. Have you figured out exactly what you want to major in yet? I know you were kind of still debating."

My chest tightens just as it always does when I think too hard about the future, specifically my future. The selfish urge to end the phone call creeps up into my psyche but I try to resist, instead coming up with a mediocre answer. "Uh, yeah, you know, still leaning towards Economics but I'll probably use the first few weeks of school to really try out the classes and make sure they fit."

"I think Economics is a perfect fit. You're just like your old man, you just need to focus on your studies. I still think this route is your best bet when it comes to your future career, Roman. It's a tough economy."

"Yes, Dad, I know. Listen, I gotta' help Aunt Loren out with dinner so I better get going. I'll call you tomorrow or later this week, okay?"

"Oh okay, sure, son. Tell her hi for me."

"I will. Love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Ro." The line clicks dead as my finger hits the 'end' button, my social meter officially tapped out when it comes to my parents and guardian figure.

I'll just call Mom tomorrow. I won't bother her tonight, it's getting late.

The mental note is a promise that I hope I actually keep, the sound of the rain still pelting down outside bringing me back to Earth. Stripping off my wet clothes and into some sweats, I slump onto my bed with a loud thud and pull the pillow over my head to hide myself from the world.

College and the future in general have been looming before me ever since I graduated high school just a handful of months ago, indecision and massive pressure hiding like a dark figure in the night waiting for the right moment to pounce. Although my dad wants me to follow in his financial footsteps, entering into the world of stocks and numbers...my heart is not totally sure that I will fit in. I've always done well in school but could never really decide where I belonged, my hobbies coming and going without anything sticking out. I tried band, choir, even drama and theatre. Sports were never really my thing, although I was always pretty good at soccer and basketball. I made sure to participate in all the important, required programs that I felt would help get me into Columbia University, including extracurricular classes like mock trial, National Honor Society and even peer tutoring. I excelled in statistics, computer science and mathematics, not really needing to study too hard and instead using the time to hangout with my friends on the weekends.

When I finally got accepted into Columbia, my parents were thrilled...but my dad was really thrilled. I knew I couldn't let him down and I still don't want to. Although he personally went to Cornell, he didn't really care which university I ended up at as long as it was in New York and with a 'useful' major. A part of me has secretly always wanted to go far away though, maybe even California. My mom loves to travel and I think I inherited her hidden, burning desire to escape, longing to experience something truly out of the ordinary.

Hmm...am I missing out on my own adventure beyond what I imagined without even realizing it?

Beck crosses my mind and I cringe at my own behavior, especially as I was almost totally convinced that he was going to kiss me...and my face probably showed it.

Ugh. Should I go next door and visit him tomorrow? Maybe apologize or just check in to see how he's doing?

But what if that scares him away? Maybe he just needs more space for now and I should let him come to me?

But...what if he never comes to me?

UGH.

I guess we'll have to see how brave I'm feeling...but I've never really been that brave.

To be continued...