Brown and Orange - Soukoku

10

Chuuya's POV

By the time I woke up, it was already noon. The moonlight was replaced with the gentle rays of the sun. Next to me, laid Dazai. He looked relaxed for once in his life.

It's rare to see him like his, other than when he is with Oda. I knew Oda was like a parent figure to him, one that he never had. But, whenever I see Dazai having fun with Oda without me, I have this weird sting of poison that starts to abrupt inside me.

I'm not good with feelings, I don't know what I feel. Most of the time I act on my head, not my heart. No one has made me open my heart to them before, not that I can think of. Though, someone definitely comes to mind when I think about that topic.

Trust is like a wine glass to me. You can break it, and the glass will still remain. You can break the trust, and it will still remain in shards. You can piece the shards together, but they will never be the same as before.

I find it hard to trust people. Everytime I give someone my trust, they just tear it all down. Just like the sheep. Just like my friends. Just like the only ones I had. I wonder who will be next.

If I don't trust anyone, don't show anyone the vulnerable side of me, then no one can break my trust. No one can break your trust if they never had it in the first place.

That's what I keep telling myself, keep reassuring myself when ever I start to open up. But I think I may have broken that vow. I look over at the brunette, who has just woken up.

He was yawning and stretching almost knocking me in the face with his long arms. The sunlight complemented his curly brown locks in a way that no one else can.

"You look exactly like a monkey, stretching with your dangling arms everywhere" I giggled. "Hey stop that, I have many pictures of you looking like a lost chimpanzee" he laughed.

"You take pictures? How many do you have?" I snatched his phone and opened up his photos app. He had a literally a whole gallery of me. Am I really that handsome?

It was named "Soukoku". In it, it contained over six-hundred-twenty-three pictures of just me and him together. Thats higher than his kill count. In some of them, I was asleep and in others I was awake but unfocused on the camera.

"I couldn't resist, after all, you look so cute in some of them" he opened up a photo of me asleep, in that very white fluffy blanket. I felt my face blush slightly at his words. Cute? Me? Whatever, he probably wasn't thinking when he said that.

"Whatever, just don't show them to anybody else" I signed. "I showed Kouyou half of them" he giggled. "You showed Ane-san? You know she already suspects that we are dating what will she think of us now?" I scolded him for his stupid idea.

"Since when was she suspecting us?" he questioned. "She told me one day while we were sharing a bottle of wine" I replied.

I would usually invite Ane-san over whenever I was drinking. First of all, wine tastes better with more people. It's a waste to enjoy all those expensive beverages by yourself.

However, after living with Dazai, I stopped inviting Ane-san over because I know that he doesn't drink much. We would usually have some small talk while drinking. It just lightens the mood and it's fun to talk with others when you're drunk.

One time she asked me about lipstick shades. "Which one looks better on me?" she showed me 2 lipstick shades. "The red one looks better on you. The pink one is too light. Bright red suits your hair" I responded.

Another time she asked me about eyeshadows shades. "What about these?" she pulled up a bright red and dark red eyeshadow shade. "The bright red one brings out your eye color" I suggested.