Brown and Orange - Soukoku

29

Dazai's POV

I flip a couple more pages. Maybe it was to cherish the memories. Maybe it was to look back at my past. Maybe it was to revisit times I felt alive.

Alive like I was a real human. Alive like a normal human. Alive like a human. I wanted to hold onto those memories and never forget them.

Maybe that's why I wrote a book. Maybe it was to do what Odasaku couldn't. Two books I read. One about suicide, one about life.

A book containing all the times I ever felt real. All the pages had one thing in common. They all included two specific people. One of them was myself, the other was him. One particular page was dated 'Page 777, June 19.'

.

"What's a birthday?" he suddenly asked. We were in my apartment having some takeout food. "What?" I almost spit out my drink. "You don't know what a birthday is?" I asked.

"No?" he retorted. "Well, a birthday is the day someone was born. People usually celebrate birthdays like they're holidays" I explained.

"When's my birthday?" he asked. Does he seriously not know when he was born? I mean, he wasn't technically born though. "Your birthday is April 29" I saw some files the other day about him.

They included his age, height, description, and all that stuff. "April 29 huh. When's your birthday?" he seemed genuinely curious.

"It's today" I mumbled. "June 19.. that makes me older than you!" he was probably going to annoy me for the rest of my life because of it.

"By two months. Just because you're older it doesn't make you taller" I hissed. "Lay off of my height jackass. I actually hate you so much" he gritted. "I hate you more" I smiled.

"If it's your birthday then why aren't you celebrating it like other people?" he questioned. "I am celebrating it" him being here was already enough to fulfill my birthday wishes. I didn't need anything more.

"How?" he asked. I didn't respond and simply dragged him by his arm to the huge window we had in the living room. I sat at the ledge and he did the same.

The window was open, we could die right now. Only thing is I don't know if I really wanted to die right at this moment. His presence was enough to show the empty void of darkness which was my soul just a drop of light.

He was the light. He was my light. A drop of hope. He lights up my soul. "I'm curious Chuuya, what am I to you? A monster? A prodigy? A demon? I want to know" I looked at him.

"You're a really annoying idiot to me" he responded. Silence. "Fine. All jokes aside, you're a friend to me" he mumbled. I have two friends now. Odasaku, Chuuya Nakahara.

If I had to choose between them, it might cause me a little trouble at first. But there's a very obvious answer. I would pick him over anyone, any day, anytime.

The one that I think about when I can't fall asleep. The one I first look for whenever we're at an event. The one that I can talk freely to. The one I sneak out with. The one I care about. The one that cannot be replaced. The one and only, Chuuya Nakahara.

I felt a little relieved and disappointed at his response. I wanted to be something more than friends, but you can't always have what you want in this world.

Everything I never want to lose is always lost. Can the world not make a sole expectation for him? "You're a friend to me too" I responded. We sat without another word. It was night time, the streetlights were the only thing lighting the sky up.

The moon was nowhere to be seen, it was a new moon. A new moon to signal a new beginning, a new beginning with him. "Chuuya, I'm going to be your worst mistake" I signed. "I don't care, I-" he was going to say something but stopped him self.

I secretly hoped that the next few words he was going to say were the ones that I was thinking of. Three words I had so desperately wanted to hear from his mouth. No one ever liked me, cared for me, or even acknowledged me in the way he does.

Maybe I was just be desperate for validation, but I didn't want to hear those three words from anyone else but him. I wanted him to say three simple words, I didn't care what I had to do for it.

I think I might have feelings other than platonic for him.

.

7 years into the future

Ba dump. Ba dump. Ba dump.

I was awakened by a loud thumping noise. I look over to where the noise is coming from. It was Chuuya, he was hitting the ceiling of the room then falling back down and repeating that process.

The shrimp really was floating. Can he not control his ability when he sleeps or something? It was still the middle of the night, I stepped onto the bed and lightly touched his floating body with a finger.

He immediately fell back down onto the bed because of my nullification ability. This time, he woke up. There was a slight bruise on his face probably from slamming into the ceiling.

"Do you mind? I'm trying to sleep" I signed. "You're acting like I want to slam into the ceiling, it hurts y'know" he rolled his eyes.

After that, we went back to sleep. I went back to the floor as he covered himself with the blanket. This has never happened before, so why is he levitating now?

To think of it, I was always cuddling with him when we lived together. Arahabaki really is a menace huh. He can probably control Chuuya's body to some extent while he's asleep and off guard.

I would always randomly poke him and hug him when I was with him. To other people, it might seem like I was just trying to be annoying.

However, that's not the case. He told me before that Arahabaki sometimes talks to him inside his head. The things Arahabaki says are not exactly what you would consider kind. Maybe that's the reason he doesn't sleep well.

With my nullification ability, I can erase Arahabaki's voice from his head temporarily. Only problem is that he isn't quite fond of physical touch.

He always tries to back away or push me off whenever I hug him, that's one thing I noticed about him. In the end, he still gives in though.

I like hugging him. I'm not sure if he likes hugging me back though. Knowing that it helps him only makes me feel better. Just as I was lost in my thoughts, he started flying into the ceiling again.

This time, I didn't need to stop him. He hit the chandelier on the ceiling and it fell on top of him waking him up. "Fuck" he cursed as the glass from the chandelier shattered on top of him.

He's lucky that the blanket protected him from the shagged shards. "Stupid blanket. The one I have at my hotel is three-thousand pounds and can weight me down" he threw the blanket with broken glass onto the floor.

"That chandelier looks expensive, we're going to have to pay for it" I pointed out. "I know" he signed. I walked over to him with my blanket in hand and sat on the bed.

"What do you think you're doing asshole" I tightly embraced him in my arms and threw the blanket over us. "I think I know a way to make you stop floating" I muttered against the back of his neck.

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1305 words