The Land of Gods and Beasts

Chapter 15

Esther

I follow the blazing red thread in my heart through the halls, not knowing where else to go. My hand feels incredibly heavy, despite the energy zapping through my body like little bolts of lightning, as it raises to knock on his door. My fingers barely brush the wood before it opens. A worried looking Mal quickly steps aside as I stumble into his room, hardly registering the opulent room. Where mine is coated with white gold and navy, his is rich greens accented with black. I plop onto a deep green chair that feels like it swallows me whole.

I bury my face in my shaking hands, trying to hide from his searching gaze. He doesn't let me.

Mal gently tugs my hands from my face, studying me carefully from his place crouched before me. Eyes tracing the drop of blood still dripping down my throat, coating my lips. His nostrils flare slightly, then he dismisses the blood studying the rest of me for any sign of injury. Anything to explain my obvious state of distress. Finding nothing, he asks carefully, "is Ekon okay?"

I nod, my eyes flicking from his uncomfortably, my foot tapping rapidly on the ground. "I sent Prisca to care for him."

"Okay," he whispers, "do you want to talk about it?"

I shake my head, pause, then nod. "I-I remembered something."

His breath rises with a shaky breath at my words, but his eyes remain steady. Steadying me.

I explain the memory to Mal quickly, stumbling over my words more than once as it flashes through my mind. Fingers snagging on a sharp string, tears rushing down my cheeks, begging him to understand. Telling him he will die. The emotions tied to that memory are fresh, making my eyes burn with devastation I don't understand the cause of.

"What does it mean? Is Ekon in danger?" My words are frantic.

Mal lets out a deep sigh, his eyes closing to hide the pain I glimpsed in them. I grip his hand tight, silently begging him to answer. "No, he's not. At least not in any more danger than the rest of us with everything that's coming."

"The Harbinger."

He nods grimly, "that memory is from a long time ago, princess."

I brace myself, trying to clear the lump clogging my throat. "How long ago?"

He stands, tugging me up with him. His easy-going demeanor seeming a bit more forced than usual as he smiles. "A very long time ago. Which means there is no reason to worry about it today."

I let out a breath, but it does nothing to calm the tightness there or my heart that is fluttering like a hummingbird. Mal tugs me to his bathing room, the white room nearly blinding in the sunlight streaming through the skylights. He releases my hand to grab a cloth, dampening it under the golden faucet. He then begins tackling the sticky blood crusted to me in gentle sweeps as he speaks. "When I told you it is a blessing you don't remember everything, I meant it, princess." My mouth pops open, but he stares at me until it clicks back shut. "There are things that are going to hurt you deeply and irrevocably when you remember them. I wish the past would stay in the past, but it seems it's not going to," he gives me a hard meaningful look that doesn't suit his face that's made for laughter. "So, you are going to have to learn how to deal with it, not run away the moment something scares you."

I flinch at the truth of his words, guilt choking me as I think of Ekon. So pale, so tired, and alone in my room. I had left him there after he had literally split himself open for me, to help me.

"Always, helping you."

"You're right," I murmur with a sigh.

He nods, gripping my shoulders and spinning me towards the door. "Of course I am, now go", he says, giving me a gentle shove out the door.