Infatuated Desire

Losing Her

For the past half hour, she was restlessly walking in the room waiting for the Asfand. Since last night he didn't get back home.

Even he called Mr. Hayat and informed him that he is not coming home at night. But Sanam was now tensed about his absence at home.

On that day, after telling him the truth he wasn't bothering to look at her. And his this behavior was causing hurt Sanam's heart.

But despite that Sanam again tried to talk with him. But the way he then harshly pushed her out of the room after that Sanam didn't dare to say anything to him.

Because she has a firm belief in her God that like always He will surely find a way out for her. She just has to act with patience.

While strolling, her eyes went to the wall clock which was indicating eight o clocks of the night now. Don't know where he was. She doesn't have the right to at least call him and ask him.

And neither does he ever give this right to her.

"I have to talk to dad, he will call and ask him maybe today also he wasn't intended to come back home."

Saying to herself, she moved towards the door and it was that time when the door of her bedroom was opened and someone entered.

She just took a step towards the door when she saw Asfand entering the room. Her feet halted at that very place.

While on the other side, Asfand also stood rooted in his place seeing Sanam in front of himself. They both were standing a few inches away and silently staring at one another.

Seeing the complaining look in Sanam's eyes made Asfand divert his eyes from her.

Because of guilt, he was not finding the courage to look into her eyes. His heart was yearning to run to her and tightly hug her and ask for her forgiveness. He wanted to tell her how much grave a mistake he had committed for not listening to her and not believing her.

To bring his thought into action, he rushed towards her, and closing the distance between her and him he tightly clenched silently standing Sanam to his chest and hugged her.

He tightened his hold around Sanam and squeezed her in his embrace as if she doesn't leave him alone.

Sanam, who was intended to go out of the room, stood in a state of shock at Asfand at this gesture. Asfand this act was totally beyond her expectation.

"Forgive me, Sanam. I am a very bad man..... I did very wrong by not listening to you. I am feeling sorry for I doubted you."

Clenching her with his chest, he was saying in a teary voice. Right now he was remembering every single misbehave he did with Sanam. Now despite his willingness, he can't amend it ever.

Since yesterday he was in this state. Because of guilt, he was not finding the courage to confront Sanam. But today he summoned courage inside of himself and now standing in front of her facing her.

"Forgive me, Sanam..... I loved you, at least I have to think of that love for you, but I didn't do it."

He was accepting his every single wrongdoing. Sanam, who was still standing in confusion, understood the whole matter on Asfand asking his forgiveness from her.

"I left you and believed in those people who deceived me and they are still deceiving me....my friend Wadan who I always treated as my brother had kept such a big truth hidden from me."

On Asfand further confessing, Sanam now understood the whole matter that he came to know about this fact from somewhere else that's why he was standing here seeking her forgiveness.

"I accept that I was wrong but for once will you forgive your Asfand?"

Now he cupped her face in his both hands and asked her pleadingly. Not only his teary voice but his glistened eyes with tears were not hidden from Sanam.

"Tell something, Sanam. Answer me. Will you forgive your Asfand?"

He got scared of her silence and again called her requesting her. He was about to hold her by her arm to pull her closer to himself but Sanam harshly jerked away his hands.

"I don't know how Wadan knows all this. Today if he doesn't tell you the truth then you would never believe in what I told you?"

With a solemn look on her face, she was gazing at him. While her tone was as cold as ice and Asfand stood dumbfounded on feeling that.

"Speak something, Asfand. Answer me. Why are you silent now? You are feeling guilty for telling me that my single word didn't matter to you back then because you didn't trust me a bit."

Today she was venting out her resentment because now she was also suspicious of his behavior.

This thing was causing her pain that he didn't trust what she told him. What would have happened if he trusted her at least for the sake of his love for her, but he didn't do this?

"I confess that I was wrong, Sanam. I should have trusted you but at that time the circumstances were so messy that I wasn't getting anything."

Today he was at the same place where Sanam was present a few days back. And now he was understanding her condition and how much restrained she was at that time.

"No Asfand, the first step in the way of love is trust but you didn't trust me. You considered my every saying word a lie. After doing all this, how can you expect forgiveness from me?"

This time, she screamed. And her eyes broke into tears which were falling down her eyes on her cheeks and immersing in the floor.

"Today if Wadan didn't tell you then would you believe what I told you? No, then how can you expect I will forgive you that easily?"

She was letting him see that harsh truth that he doesn't want to look at. Because somewhere it was true whatever she was telling him.

"Sanam, please just for once consider me in your place and think about me then perhaps it would be easy for you to forgive me. Because at that I was living in a deception."

He slowly moved forward to her and again tried to hold her by her hand. But this time again Sanam badly jerked his hand away.

"If it's that then you should also consider me in your place and think about me, Asfand. Even you forcefully took my right without my will. After all this, it is not easy for me to forgive you."

She stood at a distance from him taking two steps back. Asfand was feeling hurt by the way she was going away from him.

But what he could do? After all, it was also his mistake and he must also bear its punishment.

"Forgive me for the sake of that love which was between us. Forgive your Asfi, Sanam."

He further drifted closer to her. And she again moved back from him.

"Once you told me that Asfi, who used to love me, had died long before. On that day, you told me exactly the true Asfand, because my Asfi can never do this with me, he can never do this."

When it becomes hard for her to hold the pain in her heart, she didn't stop there anymore, and suppressing her sobbing she rushed to the washroom.

While Asfand kept on silently standing for a long time staring at the closed door. Many tears slipped from his eyes and were immersed into his shirt.

Because of mistakes or misunderstandings, people happen to lose their precious thing in life and he was also one of them.