heda | clexa

three

Madi is a mess of curls, freckles and wide-stretched smiles when she greets Lexa. "You're early!" she exclaims excitedly.

"Yes, my love, and I brought lunch."

Madi sighs. "I love you."

That same moment, the stairs creak and Lexa instinctively puts a hand on Madi's small sternum to push her back. Instead of a thief, a small but lanky boy appears, head full of blond waves. "Madi? Are you oka-" His words get stuck in his throat when he sees Lexa.

Lexa raises a brow. "And who might you be?"

The boy's cheeks turn cherry red. "Ma'am. I'm sorry for being here uninvited. I'm Aden."

Madi seems completely oblivious to Aden being so flustered and smiles sweetly at Lexa. "Aden has been keeping me company. We made friends."

Lexa tries to look at Madi in a scolding way, but she has a feeling that she's not quite succeeding. She can never really be angry at Madi, and certainly not for making friends. She knows she leaves Madi alone too long, too often. "Madi, what did I tell you about strangers? Next time, I want you to introduce your friends earlier. You can't just invite anyone over."

"Okay! But Aden is a very good stranger. He's very sweet."

The boy's whole face is colored red now. He manages a weak smile and puts on his shoes. "My mom expects me home soon anyway. I should- I should help her with lunch. It was nice to meet you, ma'am."

"But Aden, you said we could pick mushrooms- and your jacket-"

"I'll pick it up another day. Have a nice day."

Before Lexa can invite him to stay, he has already slipped thorugh the door. "Hm," Lexa smiles before setting down the food on the table. "He seems shy."

-

Hours later and Lexa has explained the simplified version of the story to Madi, just enough to let Madi know that Lexa may be gone for a while. They've had lunch and Lexa used the free time to play with Madi and read a few stories to her.

By the time it's dark and Madi has gone to bed, Lexa is in a dissheveled state of mind, her thoughts in disarray, her emotions too muddled to sort through.

Or at least that's what she tells herself. That's what she tells God, when she kneels on her bedroom floor a few hours later, praying for an ounce of forgiveness.

There's the fact that God may have given her a purpose to prove herself, something to redeem herself. There's the meeting with a potential devil, and the terrible things it made Lexa feel. And most importantly, there's Madi, and the oceans of guilt that overwhelm Lexa when she thinks about leaving her, about having left her so often before when Madi is nothing but the sweetest, deserves nothing but the best.

Lexa prays for her so often, yet God has given her no one but Lexa.

Lexa, who wishes every day she could be better for Madi. To have more money, to live in a better place, to be a better person, to be a normal person.

She's a mess every day, but today, she's complete chaos. It's not like her expression ever gives that away, but she forces her shoulders to square and her back to straighten anyway, forces herself to scramble some form of dignity together before she leaves the house. She needs to ask Nikki for a favor. Again.

Her and Lexa aren't close, not exactly, but sometimes they're all they have, being neighbors and all. There are moments they don't speak of, like when Nikki looks after Madi more often than she should, or when Nikki knocks at Lexa's door later than she should, with too many tears streaking her face.