Helpless (Solangelo fic)

Suicide

The monster grabbed Hazel, ripping her in two, Nico tried to scream but no words came out of his mouth. He saw Frank, yelling, charging at him, bow in hand. Tears streamed down his face, yet a voice whispered that he deserved this, that he needed to suffer. He saw Bianca leading into battle under the lead of Thalia Grace, he was frozen. She shot an arrow to his shoulder, Nico fell to the ground with the sudden burst of pain. He tried to run, run from his problems like he always did, he was lost in about ten seconds, without a clue where he was going, the Labrynith. The maze went dark, then suddenly a burst of light came through, in front of him was Will Solace. He ran to him, trying to find comfort in anything yet the blonde boy pushed him to the floor.
"You're a pathetic little fag Nico, nothing more. You run from all of your problems, you deserve to suffer for your crimes, you disgust me." Nico turned and ran, ignoring the taunts that came from th boy he loved. Then he saw that memory again, the one that he wished he could erase from his mind. He was nine, that day his mum took him and Bianca out. They had gone to church like every other Sunday but his day was different. Nico always hated the Catholic Church, no one knew that, he would have been killed for that crime. They always forced him into white, making him recite bible verses, telling him everything was a sin, he hated it from the first day he could remember going. The day they threw the white fabrics at him, cutting his hair, claiming it made him look too much like a girl and that would be sacrilegious. But this was the day he knew, he was certain it was evil. He was clutching his sisters hand, two guys were on a platform, rope around their necks, couldn't have been much older than 15. He remembered looking away after the lever was pulled, he remembered the priests words.
"They were hung for the crime of homosexuality, a purely disgusting sin. They may have been children but they deserved to die, for the have committed the worst sin of all time." Nico never spoke about that day, it was one part of his nightmares that hadn't left him since that day. He remembers crying, Bianca telling him it was alright and they had done something wrong, that he didn't understand. She never knew what his thoughts were, she never knew he was just like them. He imagined what his life would have been if he wasn't in the casino, would he be married to a girl he never loved? Who he have run? Or would they have finally broken him into what they thought he should be? He heard the snap of the necks, two voices, Hazel and Bianca's both muttering in his ear. Percy choking him against that wall, this time yelling.
"You're a disgusting thing, no wonder your sister joined the hunters without a second thought of leaving you behind." Nico wanted to scream. The son of Hades woke up in a cold sweat, shaking. He couldn't take this anymore, not the fucked up demigod life, not knowing everything that had happened before him, not after what he'd gone through.
"I'm sorry Hazel, I tried, I really tried. But you don't need me." He whispered though the tears. He lit a cigarette letting the nicotine fill his lungs, it didn't help. He didn't want to feel, more he didn't want to live. He drained a whole bottle of vodka before pulling out his pocket knife, he dragged it across his skin, cuttings as deep as he could. He felt a light sting and the blood covered his palms, again, he needed to feel something. He carved a word on his other arm, horizontal cuts all around it, everything was covered in the scarlet liquid. The Ghost king pulled off his shirt and cared the word faggot down his chest, he could feel his head getting lighter, he felt like he was about to pass out he looked over to his hands where cigarettes burns littered them and added another two to the collection. He looked down at his thighs, littered with scares as he dragged the blade across, letting the blood soak everything, he could feel himself losing consciousness but he didn't stop, he would be dead in five minutes, and he wanted to make that time sooner if he could.
***
"Jay, this is a terrible idea."
"Nico strikes me as the type to love Mean Girls, it's worth a shot anyways."
"Not that, more the fact that the harpies are particularly keen on eating us."
"We'll be fine, come on."
"Couldn't we do this in the morning?"
"Then we would have to wait till tomorrow to watch Mean Girls with Nico, whether he agrees or not isn't important."
"Okay that's fair..." Percy knocked on the door of the Hades cabin, no response.
"Di Angelo, I've known you for long enough that you aren't asleep, it's just me and Percy."
"What if he's fixed his sleep schedule? Sounds like something Will would make him do."
"True." Jason said gripping the door handle, twisting it as the door swings open. "Nico?" The room was dark, Jason flicked on the lights knowing that if Nico really was asleep, something as subtle as lights wouldn't wake him anytime soon. Jason froze, before quickly running up towards the raven haired boy, he checked for a pulse, it was so weak he could barely feel it. He saw the knife in his hand, blood had stained everything. "Call Hazel and Reyna. NOW!"
"What?" Jason walked out carrying the small boy, shock came over Percy's face. "I-I didn't think it was this, he wasn't this bad this morning, h-he was trying to stop, w-what."
"I'm taking him to the infirmary, his pulse is really weak, just call Hazel and Reyna." Trying to keep his voice stable, panicked look on his face, shaking, he ran to the infirmary. He kicked the door open,
Will knew he wasn't meant to be taking night shift for another five days but he managed to convince his younger siblings to let him take today, they didn't want to let him but eventually they agreed when Will swore to take it less often in general. He was finishing some paperwork when the son of Zeus ran inside. "Solace!" Will looked up seeing Nico in Jasons arm, he didn't even pause for a second, going straight into doctor mode. He ran forward to the first empty room, the room Nico always had, the only private one as well, Jason followed after him.
"Lay him down here; put pressure on his arms, that's where it's bleeding the most." Will attached him to a machine Jason had no clue what the purpose of was, he snapped on some rubber gloves and started working. He tried to help as best he could, "I still need concent to do this stuff, you approve right? It doesn't seem important now but I will get in trouble if I don't follow it."
"Anything to keep him alive."
"Well then let's make sure he doesn't wake up too early so he doesn't die of shock." Will could barley think straight but he had to stay focused, he would have been less worried if it was anyone else but Nico already being half way to death scared him. It was possible but he needed to work quickly, he tried to sing the hymn but it didn't work, he'd be okay, Will knew what be was doing, Nico wouldn't die tonight. At least he told himself that. Percy ran through the door,
"Hazel and Reyna will be here as soon as they can, will Nico be okay?"
"I don't know..." Will half whispered, a tear fell down his face. "Could one of you go back to see if there was anything else there?" Will muttered before continuing with his work, physically holding back his tears.
"'Course Solace." Percy said running back out, he knew Will was under a lot of pressure and having less people there would probably be better.
"Don't leave me alone Neeks, you're my best friend, you aren't going to die on me." Will whispered, wrapping up his arms and legs to stop some of the bleeding, he wasn't going to last much longer losing any more blood, it was already a miracle he'd lasted this long.
"There was an empty bottle of vodka, and a half empty packet of cigarettes."
"Shit." Will said, shaking.
"Will, take a breath. If anyone can keep Nico alive it's you."
"The chance if him living is even lower now, with so much alcohol in his body."
"You've got this." Will tried as hard as he could, Nico seemed stable, he would be fine... he hoped.
"Go, tell Annabeth, try to clear your head. I'm not sure when exactly he'll wake up and when he does having a lot of people might not be the best."
"Perce, I'll come with you in a minute, just want to ask Will something."
"Kay bro, I'll wait for you outside."
"Thanks bro." Percy left the room and started pacing around, this was his fault, he shouldn't have let him. He was talking to him earlier, whatever he said wasn't enough, fuck. What if he didn't fucking live? He killed Bianca and now he might have killed Nico, what was he doing at this point? He wanted to not feel it, to not worry about it but he refused to drink or smoke or do any kind of drug in general. He wasn't going to end up as a addict, he hadn't survived two wars to prove Gabe right.
"What did you want to talk about?"
"Can you, I don't know exactly but is there a way that you can keep him in th infirmary for a bit, or just a way that be won't be left alone or have access to anything? I don't- I don't want him to succeed." Jason said, rubbing the back of his neck,
"Well, I can keep him in here, do you think it would help him?"
"Will he be alone?"
"I'll be there with him and other people are allowed to come in but not too often."
"Then yeah."
"I'll make sure he gets as much help as he can."
"Thank you."
***