Helpless (Solangelo fic)

You'll be okay

"What's going on?" Nico whispered waking up with Will grasping his hand. Why was he in the infirmary?
"You're awake." Will said with a sigh of relief, "Neeks, we were so fucking scared we'd lost you."
"What?" He said before he looked down at his arms, chest and thighs, all covered in blood soaked bandages. "Mi dispiace," he whispered, sitting up and curling into a ball. Tears fell from his eyes,
"Neeks, starai bene e riceverai aiuto." Will said, sitting down next to him
"L-Lasciami in pace Will, lasciami morire.... Tanto non c'è niente- che valga la... pena salvare, sono solo un frocio c-che scappa da tutti i miei problemi. Tutti starebbero meglio senza di me."
"Non dirlo, non è vero."
"Sì, lo è davvero-" Will pressed a finger to his lip, starting to sing.
"Da bambina, non dicevo a nessuno le mie ansie
Ma qualcosa mi faceva sentire grande grande
È che so, io ero innamorata, nnnamorata di te
Segreto, segreto, chi lo scoprirà
Un dolce segreto la complicità
Tu per me e io per te
Segreto, segreto, falsa ingenuità
Un dolce segreto, sogni di un'età
Tu per me e io per te mano in mano
Nella notte guardando luna e stelle
Solo ora io mi sento quel tempo sulla pelle
Io, mai più sarò innamorata, innamorata così
Segreto, segreto, chi lo scoprirà
Un dolce segreto la complicità
Tu per me e io per te
Segreto, segreto, falsa ingenuità
Un dolce segreto, sogni di un'età
Tu per me e io per te
Segreto, segreto, chi lo scoprirà
Un dolce segreto la complicità
Tu per me e io per te"
"Perché stai facendo questo? Perché ti interessi?"
"Perché ti amo." Shock covered Nico's face, he tried to speak but no words came out so he decided to just go for it. He pressed his lips against the blonde boy, he kissed him back, cupping his face with his hand. "I'll always be here for you Angel."
"T-thank y-you." Nico whispered, barely able to process what had just happened. He'd just kissed Will Solace, he'd just fucking kissed Will Solace. After a few more minutes the son of Apollo got up, grabbing some bandages and disinfectant. He started with the left arm, slowly unwrapping it, cleaning off any dried blood with a wipe and re-wrapping it.
"It'll need stitches." He muttered, mostly to himself, but a look of panic washed over Nico's face. "Don't worry, everything's going to be okay." He whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder, trying to stabilise the small boy. He gave him a small smile before Will had gone on. He started wiping off the dried blood when the the message 'sorry' cut out into his skin with jagged writing, he placed a kiss on his forehead before going on. Nico stayed perfectly still, not flinching through the stinging of the antiseptic, he barely felt it.
"Nico, I need to talk to you about something." Will said sitting down next to him, he swallowed, this couldn't be a good thing.
"What?"
"Well, you might be in here for a while." Shit, fucking shit.
"How long." Nico demanded, determined to keep his voice from breaking.
"It's going to depend okay? Please Neeks, it's for your own good. Jason asked me about it and later on so did Percy, you have some say in this, you only have to stay here a week, but if it's helping you could and probably should stay for longer. None of us can force you in here for that long, well unless you're hurting yourself but I feel like forcing you to stay here won't help. We just want to help." Nico sobbed, curling himself up.
"F-fine."
***
Hazel and Reyna ran into the infirmary,
"Where is he?" right after she said that Will stepped outside the room,
"Well if you're looking for Nico he's here. Also one at a time, normally these conversations go better with one person." Will walked back inside, Hazel following closely behind him.
"So are you going to tell me what happened or....?"
"Didn't Percy?"
"He just told us it was to do with Nico and that he was in the infirmary and we might want to try and get here."
"Well... you'll see..."
"The fuck happened Will?! Do I need to kill someone?"
"No... umm..." Hazel stepped into the room, not waiting for Will to finish his sentence.
"Nico!"
"Oh.. Hey Hazel."
"What happened?"
"Ah... well... I mean." He tried to keep his voice stable but couldn't finish the sentence.
"Do you want to tell her or should I?"
"I'll do it just can we-?"
"Yeah sure." Hazel sat on the bed next to him as Will left the room,
"Nico what happened?"
"Well, I- I tried to...unalive... myself" He said unable to hold back the single tear that fell from his eye. Hazel pulled him into a hug, wrapping her arms around him, letting him fall onto her.
"You're going to be okay; Nico why didn't you tell me before?"
"I didn't want you worrying, I'm used to struggling." Hazel messed up his black hair,
"Talk to me, please Nico. If you need help tell someone."
"I'm sorry."
"Shh... You don't need to apologise." Hazel held him as he sobbed into her chest,
"Why did you travel half way across America on such short notice?"
"Well, Percy didn't actually tell me what had happened when he called but from what we heard from him and Jason now is that there was a very high chance of you dying. We needed to know what happened."
"Sorr-"
"-don't apologise."
"Oh Haze, what did everyone think when I killed the bitch that hurt you?"
"Well, let's just say no one will be trying that again, especially after I punched a guy after he said you were insane. Now they think we're both crazy but they don't give me any shit."
"I proud of you for punching the guy." Nico said running his hands through Hazel's curly hair, she smiled in appreciation.
"Nico, you'll tell me when somethings happening right? Or just anyone."
"I'm trying, it's just- everything... everything feels like it's out to break me."
"Dying isn't much better, you spend every second there wishing to be away from it, it's worse than it seems Nico. It's like re-living your life until you become numb to it, until you can't stand anything anymore. Believe me, you wouldn't want to go there." Nico kissed her on the cheek, unable to finding the right words to say to his younger sister so they sat there in silence for a few minutes until she eventually got up. "Reyna wanted to talk to you, she was worried sick on the way." She said walking walking out the door.
***
"What happened." It wasn't a question,
"He... nearly killed himself, would have if it wasn't for Jason and Percy. They found him passed out on the cabin floor."
"Can he come back to Camp Jupiter? I want to keep an eye on him."
"I don't think Chiron would mind, it's just- do you think it would help him?"
"I can't loose him, he's like my brother and I know Hazel would want him close."
"It's up to him but I wouldn't recommend it."
"What the fucks you're plan? Make him act like nothing fucking happened and continue on?"
"Well... he's going to be in the infirmary for a while, I don't really want to pressure him into anything but at the same time... he isn't- going to... last much longer if we don't intervene... a lot."
"You will either make sure he lives, no matter what. Or else I'm taking him to New Rome and making sure he lives no matter what happens."
"I swear on the river of Styx that I will try as hard as possible to keep Nico di Angelo alive."
"How long will he live if you do nothing?"
"Well... if we do nothing- he'll probably try again. Assuming he doesn't do that he'll either die from how much he's using his powers, how much the last times he used his powers affect him, how much he's eating."
"How long will he be here?"
"We're starting with a week, but it's going to be longer if it's helping him, if not well it really depends and well- at that point who knows." Will had tried to keep himself stable as Reyna Avila Ramìrez-Arellano, Preator of Rome, half interrogated him, he had to keep his voice even, he could crack under how stressed he was. Even though Nico had survived thanks to Jason and Percy finding him so quickly he wasn't in the best state, he couldn't admit how scared he was. And fucking shit, Nico had kissed him, he'd actually kissed him. Nothing was making sense, or maybe everything was to everyone else yet the weeks without proper sleep had caught up to him. Hazel walked in,
"Reyna, your turn. Just please be... gentle."
"Of course I will Hazel, you doing okay after that talk by the way?"
"Yeah, just thankful he's okay."
***
"Nico di Angelo."
"O-oh um.. hi Rey-"
"W-why..?" She said forcing back the tears,
"I-i, what?"
"Why did you try to- end your own... life?" She said sitting down next to him, "If anybody here is being cruel in any way I'm taking you to Camp Jupiter with me."
"N-no it's not- everyone been better than they were in the past. It's just- it seems so... worthless to.. keep... living. What are we even living for? So the gods can send us on life threatening quests and let us lose so many people without giving two fucks."
"Nico-"
"-And then they still expect fucking offerings and I wasn't there to stop that shit happening to Hazel and I let Octavian die and just, the world would be better off without me." Reyna pulled the broken boy into a hug,
"Shhh, Nico your life means so much more than that. Remember every life you've changed, for fucks sake you brought Hazel back from the dead."
"Brought her back from the dead but couldn't stop her from getting raped."
"You can't be there for every second of her life, the important part is that you care about her. Everything in life might be trying to test your limits, to break you down, so prove them wrong, show them you're stronger than they thought."
"I'm not."
"Believe me Nico, you are one of the strongest people I know."
"I wish I felt it." She placed a hand over his heart,
"You've gone through so much, from such a young age but Nico there's a reason your heart keeps beating, because you survived it. You've survived things a lot of people can only imagine, I know you're scared but the past shows how much you've grown. You may not think it but so many people love you and care about, so many people would care if you were gone." The ghost king hugged her even tighter almost like letting her absorbe his pain,"And di Angelo, you scared the living shit out of me."
"Sorry about that."
"Nico there's something else I wanted to bring up..."
"What's going on?"
"I asked Will what he was doing, and please work with him. Just let him take care of you and please, if something is or isn't working please tell him, and if it really is helping, stay for longer than the forced amount. Please Nico, I can't lose you."
"I- okay."
"If you ever need somewhere to go, if you ever don't feel safe Camp Jupiter is open."
"Thanks Rey."
"I'm always here di Angelo, also when the fuck did you get your ears pierced?"
"Last week, Piper dragged me out so I thought 'why not go for it?'"
"Naturally." Reyna said messing up his hair.
***