Helpless (Solangelo fic)

I'll always be there for you, maybe that makes me insane

"Will! No signs of Aussi, how's Nico?" However instead of an answer they were confronted with a crying wreck, a still motionless son of Hades and Will Solace sitting on the floor with bloodshot eyes.
"I don't think he'll make it." He choked, tears streaming down his face, breaths shallow and quick.
"He's going to be okay, you've done everything possible to save him"
"But it isn't enough."
"He's not dead yet, that means he could still wake up."
"But what if he doesn't?"
"Will, don't think about that, he'll been fine."
"He's almost died three times, we don't know how much longer he can just push past it!"
"He's in the best care he can get."
"What if it's not enough?"
"It will be." A minute of silence passed between them, neither daring to break it.
"Anything on Austin?" He asked in a soft voice,
"Nothing, not a single lead."
"The first twenty four hours are crucial, and we lost those ages ago."
"I'm not losing another brother."
"No, you're not."
"Oh- um Will, you need to tell Chiron, it's gone too far, please." He knew he had to but he dreaded every thought of it, Nico would be mad, what the fuck would Chiron do anyway? It wasn't worth it, but he knew he had to, it was his job, and maybe Chiron would help.
"Yeah, I know." He muttered awkwardly before leaving the infirmary in dread, "Keep an eye on Neeks for me, yeah? I won't be long I promise." He just got a nod for an answer.
***
"I- I need to speak with Chiron."
"Can't you see we're trying to play poker over here?" Mr. D had answered,
"What has happened William?"
"It's... about Nico..."
"Come, let's walk." He felt guilty doing this, he knew it was the right thing but it felt wrong, it felt like a betrayal.
"You... you know he's been in the infirmary a lot?"
"Side effects form the war, I'm presuming." They were inside the forest, travelling through familiar routes, this one, Will knew. It lead to a lake if you knew where you were trying to get to.
"Partially, the magical stuff yes but two of the times-" He took a breathe before continuing, no matter how many patients he'd had for the same reason he'd never told Chiron, they all asked him not to and it had never gotten to the point where they were in emergency care. "-it was himself, first time with- cuts, last night Jason found him passed out, trying to drink himself to death." He choked back tears, trying to remain neutral was the best option.
"How is his condition now?"
"We're unsure whether he'll wake up, he- he's probably going to be in a coma for a while." He hated that it was true, he hated the chance that he wouldn't, he hated that he had to say all of this.
"You don't want to be telling me this." His voice, the same calm, still, voice that left you doubting the next response.
"I- it's- he- he didn't want you to know, I feel like I'm betraying him."
"I see, is this the first case?" It wouldn't be a good idea lying to him, he knew that, but he also knew that he'd have to tell him things he'd been dreading to say.
"Not even close, I've had at least seven, sadly-" Another breath, this was going to be fine. "-I've seen so many dead with a note because I never knew they needed help, and neither did anyone else." He looked off, Will tried reading his expression but it was pointless, it was as if the mist was covering his face, hiding every single detail.
"I would hope you're still regularly checking in with said patients? Making sure it hasn't been continuing, helping if it has and even if it hasn't being there as perhaps not a therapist but... more a concerned friend?"
"Y-yes I've been doing that, I've sometimes kept people in the infirmary but I can only do that if they're being a danger to themselves and there limit of a week." He held his breath between every sentence, it was breaking him to say all of this but he had to keep himself calm.
"We'll be changing those as quickly as possible, you're entitled to keep anyone in for as long as you feel like they need help however you still need either their consent or a guardians." Will nodded, he'd not asked him for a list yet, this was going as well as it could. "Do you have anyone for people to talk to before things escalate?"
"Yes but- most people don't come before that, even less come willingly; people are too scared to ask for help on their own. We've tried to advertise it more however it's never really done much, no one wants to reach out no matter how much they need help."
"Could you please inform me of who these people were?" Too many, too many people are hurt, too many people deserved better, too many people have had lives so hard you can't blame them for wanting to end it.
"It's confidential." Leo, Annabeth, Percy, Selina, Nico, the list went on.
"I need to know who to keep an eye on."
"I've been doing that, half of them died in battle or suicide so they don't really affect you." He snapped, shit, no, he needs to watch his tone, he had to be more careful. He dreaded what the look on Chiron's face would be yet he was treated with the same, calm, blank expression that had been resting on his face the entire time.
"I can be sure you're taking care of them? Weekly to monthly therapy depending on how much they need it? Keeping them in if required? "
"You can count on me." Because he was meant to be the stable one.
***
Where the fuck was he? Shit, shit, last night had happened. Everything would be fine, if he ran now Jason would forget anything ever happened and go back to Piper, he didn't want to but what choice did he have? Calypso hated him after he told her he also liked guys in a letter, no one else had known, as far as everyone knows he's straight and he's still dating Calypso, no one had to know, it would be better for both of them. Leo slipped out of the bed trying his best to not disturb Jason, his hair was kinda messy but in a cute way, his short hair had grown out a bit and he resisted the urge to push it out of his face. He watched the blonde boy's chest rise and fall methodically, every part of him so calculated, prepared, like clockwork. So different from Leo's unprepared chaos, however they were both alike in different ways. Both were never quite sure they'd fit in, both scared to face the truth, both wanted to run from what they knew was real. He needed to run, get away from him before he did any more damage, Jason would never tell Piper, they'd go on happily, just like Percy and Annabeth. He crept away, he reached for the door, trying to open it silently as to not wake the son of Jupiter, it didn't work. As his blue eyes opened Leo ran out the door, all he could think was I'm sorry, tears fell from his eyes.
"Leo! wait-" Too late, he'd lost his best friend because of a stupid fucking crush. "I'm so sorry." It was basically a whisper.
***
"Father?" He wasn't sure where he was, it was almost like a dream, was he finally dead?
"Hello Nico."
"Am I-" The ghost king had hope, maybe this was it, maybe everything was over.
"No, you're okay." Shit.
"WHY DO THEY NEVER LET ME DIE? I've tried, over and over again, I'm so close, why can't they just let me kill myself? I hate myself, I hate my life, I can't do this anymore." He broke down in tears, Hades wrapped an arm around him.
"It's because they care, Nico every day people who die, even ones in Elysium, they want to live, they all want to go back."
"Go back to what? To all of camp hating me? For me being so fucking scared to tell the truth because I feel like I'll be hated for it? To every single one if my friends debating whether I was worth saving? To being harassed into doing quests? Why should I want to go back?"
"What about a certain son of Apollo? What about Jason Grace? What about your sister?"
"Will's going to get tired of me in a week, Jason's acting because he feels like he owes me for debating whether to leave me in a jar, Hazel's better without me. Anythin else? Just let me fucking die, I know you wanted Bianca to live instead of me."
"I care, Nico I never wanted you to die instead of your sister, you're my son."
"IF YOU CARE THEN LET ME ESCAPE THIS FUCKING HELL."
"BIANCA IS DEAD, I CAN'T SEE HAZEL OR ELSE SHE'LL DIE, I'M NOT LOSING ANOTHER CHILD. I'm not losing you too. You know I'm always here, always here to talk, I'm not the best at this parenting thing, I know, most of us aren't. But I still care, I still love you and I still want to help in any way I can." Nico didn't trust himself to speak, he and his father were alike however not close. Closer than most gods with their children however as Nico had a room in the palace of Hades, no matter how much Persephone didn't like him."I know you won't be happy with this however... I would like you to spend some time in a mortal hospital."
"What the fu-" No, not a fucking chance, he wasn't going there. Not where he wouldn't be left alone, where they'd make him talk, where they would act like they care but don't.
"-no demigod's life is easy, especially yours, I feel like a break would be beneficial for you. It also just gives you time to think and talk to people, please, Nico. If it's that bad I will send someone to check you out but I feel as though it could help you in a way you can't really be helped at camp." Nico held back tears, he knew that was true but what if it just made everything worse? They didn't know him, most people didn't know him, he's fine, he doesn't need help.
"Fine." That was all he could bring himself to say.
"I could wake you up now but I think you're body needs to rest, you'll wake up when you're ready."
"What if I don't?" He hoped that would happen.
"Then I will stay by my promise, you will become a god."
"What the fuck?" Before he could ask any more the dream like experience ended and the world went black around him once more.
***
"PERCY JACKSON YOU BETTER FUCKING TELL ME WHY MY BROTHER ALMOST DIED!" An iris message appeared in his cabin, making Percy fall back onto his bed. It was around eleven in the morning; the words didn't process in his mind for a few seconds. Hazel had tears streaming down her face, eyes red with bags under her eyes as if she hadn't slept.
"Hazel, what are you talking about? He's been in the infirmary... Will is- he was fine I-"
"WHAT THE FUCK GOING ON? THIRD FUCKING TIME, WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING."
"I'll go check on him okay?" Hazel took a deep breath,
"Thank you Percy, I'd like to have some words with Solace when I get to camp, Reyna would to, I'm sure." The anger in her eyes would have made anyone else run in fear, he understood the pain, the anger, the fear, the sadness.
"H-hey I'm sure he'll be fine." He forced the words out of his mouth, he was also pretty fucking mad at Will, he'd told them he'd be safe in the infirmary, what the fuck happened? He waved his had through the message, breaking the connection before running to the infirmary. He tried to stay calm, he needed to, he knew it couldn't be Will's fault, Nico would be fine, he had to be fine. He opened the door, unlocked as always.
"Solace! Where are you?"
"He's in the second room, to the left, he's been a wreck all morning so be careful and be gentle."
"Thanks Kayla."
"No problem." He walked towards the room, the door had just been left open, he pushed it open and was scared of what he saw. Nico was laying on a bed, the only movement being the rise and fall of his chest which was likely induced by one of the machines hooked to him, next to him, sitting on the floor was Will Solace, head down in the knees crying silent tears. He sat down next to him,
"Everything okay?"
"Shit I'm so sorry, did anything happen?" Fuck he was meant to be working,
"Hey, man it's okay. Take a breath, what happened?"
"I- I was off for a little while and Nico- he- we think he shadow travelled out. He started drinking, the amount would have been okay for most people but it was in such a short span of time and he's already really weak because he still hasn't recovered from using his powers and he used them again and he lost a lot of blood not that long ago. He's in a coma, he probably will be for a while, I don't know if he's even going to wake up, ever. I know I was meant to tell Hazel and Reyna but I'm too fucking scared to and, shit there's something I need to show you." He spoke through sobs, his heart breaking with each word, hands shaking as he took off the blanket that was covering Nico. Dark shadow-like streaks covered his arms and neck probably covering his entire body, when Will touched them his hand went through. His skin was even paler than normal, he was cold to the touch, the only thing that made him alive was the fall and rise of his chest. Percy was too stunned to say a single word, he look at the small boy, so close to death and he felt guilty. He hadn't been able to help, it was too late, he hadn't been able to protect him, to stop all the horrible things from happening.
"I don't know what else to do, if we increase the dose of nectar it might start to burn him, I'm going to try so mortal meds soon. I don't think any of them are made for underworld power exhaustion butthey might help, I mean legally I can't give anything to him, he has a history of drugs and legally I'm not allowed to give him over a certain amount because it's bad for addiction. Right now none of that matters, I just need to keep him alive."
"Mate, I know it's your job to take care of others but please remember to take care of yourself. You look like shit, maybe get someone to cover for you for a day or two. There's a lot going on, a war ended pretty recently, there's a bunch of new campers coming in, your brothers missing and you've got a lot of people in the infirmary so just remember to let yourself breathe for a second yeah? You're not in this alone; also Hazel and Reyna already know."
"Did Jason call?"
"No, Hazel can feel when people are close to death or have died. Wait Jason found him again? Shit, I hope he's holding up, last time he was worried sick, we both were."
"He had Leo with him, I hope that helped him."
"It probably did, I'm gonna go, I- it just scares me to see him like this. If you ever need help in any way I'm free okay?"
"Thanks Percy, tell me if you hear anything about Austin."
***
He would be fine, everything was fine, they would all be fine. Percy stared down at his wrist, he wanted the pain to go away but he knew that wasn't a solution, he took a deep breath as he headed for the Athena cabin.
"Hey, Annabeth... can we talk?" The door cracked open and the daughter of Athena slipped out,
"You alright? What happened." She knew something was going on, he could tell from her tone, from the way she held herself.
"I'll... tell you at my cabin." They sat down on his bed after a short and silent trip, her hand fit perfectly into his own as he held it.
"I- I really want to cut right now." She pulled him into a hug and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.
"Hey, you're okay, everything is going to be okay." She whispered into his ear, "What happened?"
"I couldn't fucking help Nico, he's nearly dead because he tried to drink himself to death." Tears streamed down his face, shock spread over the daughter of Athena's face, a million questions racing through her mind. Why? What? How? Wasn't him being in the infirmary supposed to help him? She held back her own tears, taking a deep breath, she understood why he would do it, she should have helped him. He was like a younger brother to her and she'd failed to keep him safe, the one thing she should have been able to do. She should have been there when he needed her, she should have talked with him, talked him out of it, just been there.
"That's not your fault, he's going to be okay."
"It's my fault he got hurt, I couldn't protect him."
"Sometimes people get hurt, no matter how much we try to stop it, you did the best you could."
"It wasn't enough and now he might fucking die."
"You can't change what happens, you tried, that's all that matters okay? All we can do is hope he'll be okay."
"What if that's not enough?"
"There isn't much else we can do." She let the tears run down her face, grabbing hold of Percy's hand like someone was about to take him from her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.
"Thank you for being here Wise girl."
"Same for you Seaweed brain."
***
No, he wouldn't let this happen. Jason ran out the door of cabin one, on the look out for Leo Valdez, he ran all the way around camp, no signs. His breath was short from the running, stress and fear were starting to set in. What would even happen when he found him? Would Leo even talk to him? Had he run from camp? If he hadn't been so fucking reckless everything would have been fine. Jason refused to cry, not here, not where so many people would see, that would make it a weak point, he just took a deep breath and started to wander through the forest. Nothing no signs of the boy that was next to him not even an hour ago, he looked around, he was alone but he still couldn't let his guard down, not yet, he could do that later. Suddenly his eyes caught on a faint trail of burnt leaves and sticks, maybe that wasn't the best sign but it was all he had. The son of Jupiter ran, following the trail the best he could, making guesses on occasion but he found burning leaves and sticks after each turn. Finally he came across the son of Hephaestus, tears running down his cheek, back to a tree, flames dancing over his arms.
"Leo I-" As he looked up, panic covered his face and he let a ring of fire go up around him. Jason shouldn't be here, he wasn't meant to find him.
"Fuck off, what do you want?" Guilt washed over the blonde boy's face,
"Leo, please I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have done that yesterday I know you're probably going to hate me-"
"I don't, it's fine, I won't tell Piper." He couldn't do this, he loved him so much but he knew he didn't feel the same way. Who the fuck would want a repair boy who can't do anything right?
"Leo-"
"Leave me the fuck alone Grace, you love her, that's fine, I don't need your fucking sympathy." He hated himself for every word he said, Jason didn't deserve to be spoken to like this but that was the only thing he could do right now.
"Please just-" He needed to talk to him, he needed to tell him the truth, so why wouldn't he hurry the fuck up and do it? This was a bad idea, but Jason didn't care anymore, he put his arm through the open flame and grabbed Leo's hand. It hurt like Hades but he didn't flich, he'd learnt to handle pain worse than this. Realising what he'd done Leo quickly turned off any flames and got up before realising that the ones on his arms had burnt. Shit. He'd been such a wreck he didn't even realise the flame was on, or that it burnt.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING JASON? ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? YOU DO REALISE THAT IS AN OPEN FUCKING FLAME WHICH WILL FUCKING BURN YOU?" He yelled before the tears started to run down his face,
"Are you alright?" He placed the non-burnt hand on the small boy's shoulder,
"Yeah, I'm fine." He needed to control himself, what the fuck was he doing?
"You're clearly not, take a breath, four in, four hold, four out, four nothing." He replicated the pattern, he still looked shaken but maybe just a little better. "Sit down, you're okay."
"Jason I'm so fucking sorry for last night, I never shou-"
"Leo"
"-Id've kissed you and I completely understand-"
"Leo"
"-if you hate me and I'll keep everything hidden from Piper and-"
"-I LOVE YOU. I understand if you don't like me back-" He never got to finish his sentence because Leo Valdez's lips were now pressed against his own.
"I love you to Superman." He didn't know how this would go, they would have to tell Piper, he was scared out of his mind, but maybe, just maybe, this time things would work out.
***
"We should probably go to the infirmary for the burns." He knew Jason would say that but he'd been avoiding a certain doctor for the last week or so, he loved Will, he was one of the first people he ever met at camp but he didn't want to remind him of the sessions they still had left. He hated himself for that, they really had helped, but they also meant opening up and he was really fucking scared to do that.
"It'll be fine." Jason looked skeptical and took his hands,
"Valdez these look pretty bad, it can't hurt to get it looked at." He knew they were bad, they hurt like Hades, probably some of the worst he'd givien himself.
"I've dealt with burns before Sparky, we'll both live." Jason looked back at him with a slight look of confusion, but shrugged it off. A few hours passed with the two sitting in a perfect silence, Jason trying to focus on a book he'd started a few days before and Leo occasionally pulling random screws and bits of metal from his bag and fiddling with them making something as his mind slipped into worry, even if the son of Hades scared him.
"What happened to Calypso?" He asked breaking the silence between them,
"Well she dumped me after I let it slip that I'm not exactly straight, turns out she can be a bit of a bitch when she wants to be one."
"You okay?"
"I'm used to it Gracie, no need to worry." He laughed as if it were a joke, he didn't exactly understand how someone could get hurt so often yet joke as if it meant nothing.
"I'm going to go and check on Nico, want to come with me?" He really didn't want to go, not where Will would remember he was meant to come in but he was worried about the Hades child and followed him into the infirmary. As the two boys walked in they were greeted to Will Solace sitting at the front desk filling in a stack of what seemed to be over a hundred sheets of paperwork.
"Hi Will, is Nico doing any better?" He took a deep breath before answering the two,
"He's stable for now, in a coma but better than dead, he... he should be okay..." He muttered the end of the sentence almost as if not ready to tell it to himself, he didn't want to admit defeat. "Why are your hands so burnt? Valdez what did you do?" He said with a look of fake disappointment, maybe not completely fake but it was playful enough.
"Not my fault he decided to put his hand though an open flame, I know this might sound shocking to you Gracie but fire is like me, very hot and has tendencies to burn."
"Okay maybe I didn't think that part though..."
"I'll look at them, Valdez yours to, they look a little worse. Also I need to talk to you after." Burn marks, he couldn't risk it, not after Nico. They were meant to have sessions going every Monday but the last two weeks were chaos and it had completely slipped his mind.
"Okay." He swallowed, this would happen sooner or later, he couldn't avoid Will forever, it couldn't be that bad right?
***
"I'm so sorry for forgetting about the last two sessions, one was like the day the war finished and I was just trying to keep up with all the injuries and everything and then-"
"-Will it's fine, I've... I've sort of been avoiding you." He fiddled with his fingers as he spoke, running them around the bandage that covered his arm and hands.
"I understand, a lot's happen but talking might help."
"Kinda funny how we talked while I was on the Argo II but not when I'm back at camp."
"Yeah, I think Iris was pretty mad." That made both of them smile, for the last few months they'd called ever Monday because of Will's instance, Leo knew the reasons why but he didn't exactly want to think about it.
"Please be honest with me, I'm here to help you alright?" Leo nodded in response, not wanting to hold eye contact. "Were the burns intentional?" A sense of relief ran though him, he wasn't talking about the other thing, that was all that mattered to him right now.
"No god- um no, I swear I just completely forgot about them, there was some shit happening and I just lost track of them and...yeah I haven't done anything since we started these." A little lie, once, not badly, but that was months ago, Will didn't need to worryThe same relief washed over Will's face, Leo wondered whether it was because he cared or if he was still on edge from last night.
"I'm here to talk at any time if you need, alright? If I'm not someone else always will be."
"Thanks mate." His eyes looked almost hollow with each word he said, he knew Leo would be like this, as if hiding behind a mask of his words, either because of last night or hiding something. He thought back to the first time he'd done this with him, the memories still vibrant in his mind.
I hadn't seen Leo in a while, I mean I know he's busy working on his project but like he's never at dinner or anything. I kinda miss him and Piper told me where he is so I might go talk to him. I knock on the door of his bunker, no response but I can hear his short breaths and swearing at random intervals. After a minute of standing there I turn the handle,
"Hey Valdez, you good? I swear I haven't seen you in ages."
"What? Oh, hey Will, everything's fine, just trying to finish building." His eye's were bloodshot, he looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in days.
"Are you sure you're alright? You don't look that okay? When was the last time you ate?"
"Yeah, I ate and everything what brings you here."
"Just checking in on you, from what people have told me you haven't left this place in a few days."
"I- no clue really, don't really have a sense of time in here. I'm fine, just a bit tired."
"When was the last time you slept?"
"Not that long ago..." That was when I noticed the scratches and burns on his arms, half covered by a badly placed, bloodstained bandage. I'll get him in the infirmary, talk to him, make sure everything okay. He looks unnaturally skinny, probably because of all the time he spends here, forgetting about eating.
"Leo, come to the infirmary in half an hour, just need to set things up but I want to check a few things."
"I'm fine, I can't afford to stop working."
"Not a question, you need a break." That night he came, I started with all the routine check ups before talking about everything else. He told me about his mum, about his life on the streets and everything that happened before camp. I re-bandaged his arms, never bringing them up, he would talk about when he was comfortable enough to. A lot of demigods had scars and it isn't my place to force them to talk, I know I have more than he does. "I probably should have asked you this earlier but do you want something to eat?"
"Not hungry, am I free now?
"Yeah, come back at least once a week though. Monday nights?" He looked a little confused but just nodded and muttered something under his breath before leaving the infirmary. After a few weeks I realised he had anorexia, I suspected it from the first one but didn't want to scare him. I helped him as best I could and we managed to keep in touch with Iris messages while he was on the Argo II. It was sort of a form of therapy, I'm not sure if it actually helped but he started eating more and stopped self harming so I think it helped, even if only a little.
"Have you been eating okay?" Fuck, he was hoping he didn't ask about that. He could always lie but that would mean lying for every single week, he knew he needed help, he knew he should just tell him.
"I- um... shit."
"You can talk to me okay?" He felt like he was acting like Michael, the way he would talk to so many Aphrodite kids. Caring, but never making people open up, at the same time implying it. Never showing anything that might make them uncomfortable, no jokes unless you knew exactly how they'd react. Leo took a deep breath, he hoped he wouldn't regret this.
"I- well- I've not been the best for the last week or two, I think it's because of the war." He forced back tears,
"Hey, everything's fine. Trauma throws a lot of shit out of wack, you're going to be okay."
"Can we please change the subject and come back to this? It's just-" Will didn't need an explanation, he didn't want to make him uncomfortable, these were meant to help not something he was going to dread.
"Yeah, 'course, tell me when you feel okay to talk about it. Right now I need to check a few things, height, weight, blood sugar, heart rate." He was still pretty underweight and had a slow heart rate, blood sugar was really low, he wasn't doing that well but considering he just came out of a war less than two weeks ago it made sense.
"Can I talk to you about something?" The son of Hephaestus was scared to continue but he thought Will was a good person to talk to, if he couldn't trust him he couldn't trust anyone.
"Sure, that's what I'm here for."
"You're bi right?" That was not what he was expecting,
"Yeah?"
"Well- um- I think I might be something along those lines...? I don't know, I know I like girls but also I like guys and I didn't really know who else to talk to an-"
"Leo, breathe." His breath was a little shakey but he managed to calm down a little,
"Sorry, I'm just a little scared. Normally when I talked about this sort of stuff people shove the Bible in my face and told me to read it."
"Luckily for you I'm not Christian and I'm gay so no Bibles here."
"Also I think I sort of has a boyfriend...? I'm not sure but I think so, I mean we kissed like three times and he said he loved me."
"I think you do, I'm going to guess you can't tell me who they are?"
"You guessed correctly, I think you'll figure it out though. Just, what exactly am I?"
"Well you said you like boys and girls, there's bi, poly and there's pan which are really similar. Basically bi means you like all genders, poly is more than one gender and pan means you don't see gender when dating someone. There's also omni which means gender matters but you still like more than one gender, so it could be like a preference, or you could just be queer and not necessarily have a label. There's no like certain time you have to decide, you don't owe it to anyone and also it can change. There's probably more labels I'm not aware of but yeah you don't have to make a decision right away."
"Th-thanks, I'll think about that. Also I think I finally made a phone that monsters can't track so I can google it, maybe it'll help?"
"Yeah, it probably will, you can sort of see other people's experiences."
"Can we try talking about the other thing again? I don't really want to but I can't really avoid it forever."
"Just tell me if it's too much okay? I don't think you'll need to right now but if you're not getting better and it's a lot more dangerous than it is now or if you want to you could stay in the infirmary? We can do everything that worked last time as well because I know some of that had helped, it's probably just anxiety and PTSD making you feel out of control. It makes you need to control something which might be a reason. All good so far?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Remember you don't have to rush into it, take your time, don't be too hard on yourself. Things are going to be hard but I'm here to help alright?" He made a mental reminder to himself to test Leo for ocd in the next few weeks, he wasn't sure but it was always possible."Remember you're dealing with a lot right now and it's okay to take things slowly." Leo took a breath before getting up and hugging the son of Apollo.
"Thank you for everything, you're like a brother to me, I don't know what I would do without you."
***