Helpless (Solangelo fic)

You don't have to act like all you feel is mild

"Everything is going to be okay, listen, it seems scary but I promise he's okay." Will said, crouched down next to one of the younger campers, Emily. He'd taken the morning off to check in on the Apollo kids, no matter how much he didn't want to leave Nico's side he knew it wouldn't help an no one else was in critical condition. There were always people volunteering to help out, they couldn't really do much unless they'd been trained and even then they can only do the most basic level of treatment but normally they just sat at the front desk. They would get him if anything happened, it would be fine. Nico would be fine. He was going to wake up and everything will be fine.
"B-bu-but what i-if they don't fine him?" He pulled the crying girl into a hug,
"They will, they always do." The art of lying. He had very little hope they would find him, even less that he was alive, it was pessimistic but the truth. There was no need to tell a seven year old that, she's scared enough.
"Promise?" She held her pinky out,
"I swear it on the river of Styx." He said, locking it with hers.
"What does that mean?"
"It's an unbreakable promise, one you should never make unless you're sure you can keep it."
"What happens of you do?"
"Well... the goddess Styx will do... this!" He picked her up and started running towards the dining pavilion, more so because he couldn't remember the last time he ate something that wasn't ambrosia because he was about to pass out from exhaustion. She started laughing,
"Put me down!" Emily squealed, clinging onto his arm like a koala.
"I don't think I will." He teased, after they had reached the dining pavilion he gave her a cookie and a juice box, he'd hoped he'd been able to distract her, even for a little. He grabbed himself a sandwich and an apple which he ate in a few minutes. He hadn't realised how hungry he was, or how long it had been since he ate for that matter.
"Come on, we should probably head back to out cabin." Activities had been cancelled because of search parties, not that he went to them either way, spending any time he had in the infirmary. He was planning to go on one of the search parties later tonight but wanted to make sure all the younger kids were okay first.
***
"WHERE THE FUCK IS NICO!?" What the fuck? Who even was that?
"Language, there are children in here. I'll open the door give me a sec." He tried to quickly calm the scared children as he rushed to open the door.
"Don't you fucking language me, where the fuck is my brother?!" Hazel.
"I know you're mad, but please calm down before we head to the infirmary, Nico is doing okay, he's stable."
"Yeah, in a stable position of almost fucking dead."
"Wait what?"
"I can sense it Sherlock, he could to, you can tell when someone near you is dead or dying, same as someone you care about no matter how far away." He opened the door to the infirmary to see Reyna and Frank standing there.
"Hi, just follow me down here." He finally lead them to the door where Nico was laying, unconscious. Will braced himself for yelling, he knew they would be mad that he didn't keep him safe, he would have been too. Instead he was presented with the worried yet calm voice of the preator of Rome, Reyna Avila Ramirez Arellano.
"Will, what happened? Hazel hold your tongue, as far as we're aware he's done nothing wrong."
"Fine, but if I find out he did anything-"
"Love, calm down. I know you're scared but at least let him talk." Will strugglo hold back the tears as he recounted what had happened.
"He tried to drink himself to death, well we don't know if it was intentional or if hadn't realised how much it had been affecting him and he thought he would be relatively fine. He shadow fravelled out of the infirmary to Cabin 13, we thought we cleaned the entire place out but clearly we missed some, mostly I'm thankful it wasn't any hard drugs, otherwise I doubt he would have lived. If not for Jason and Leo finding him he would have been dead; we tried to help, as much as we could but we couldn't. I am so incredibly sorry about all of this, and I understand if you hate me; I promised to keep him safe and I failed."
"Will, it wasn't your fault."
"But it was, he shouldn't have been alone. I had other patients but I should have been there, making sure he didn't anything."
"You were doing your job, this isn't your fault." Tears streamed down the daughter of Pluto's face as she whispered, "It's not your fault-" she choked back tears, "I'm just so fucking scared."
"Hazel, could I please talk to you alone?"
***
"What's going on?"
"It isn't anything bad, I swear, well, nothing worse than you already know."
"That's so fucking reassuring."  They finally walked outide, to the lake in the forest. They sat down near the water on an old log.
"Firstly, say anything you want to say. We're alone, no one's watching, no one will hear. Swear, yell, scream, anything, anything you want to say to me, anything you said in general." She looked at him, slightly confused, yet all the bottled up anger, fear and sadness took over her mind.
"I'M SO FUCKING SCARED ALL THE TIME, EVERY FUCKING DAY I WAKE UP I CAN FEEL THAT HE'S DYING AND FOR ONCE I JUST WANT TO TELL HIM TO TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF, TO EVEN TRY TO FUCKING QUIT, ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFETIME. HE CARES ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE SO MUCH YET HE WON'T PUT THE SLIGHTEST FAITH IN HIMSELF, HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY BECAUSE HE'S SCARED HE'LL FAIL. REYNA KEEPS TELLING ME HE'LL BE OKAY, THAT HE'S STRONG. BUT HOW FUCKING STRONG CAN SOMEONE BE? I KNOW HE WAS HURT, I KNOW HE'S HURTING, I KNOW HE CAN'T TAKE IT BUT HE'S SO FUCKING HARD TO HELP. SOMETIMES HE'LL JUST SHUT OFF, HE'S NOT EVEN THERE AFTER THAT, HE WON'T SAY A WORD, IT CAN LAST WEEKS. WEEKS WHERE HE BARELY SLEEPS, BARELY EATS AND DOESN'T SAY A WORD SO WE DON'T KNOW HOW THE FUCK TO HELP HIM. THE FACT THAT HE LIVES HALF WAY ACROSS AMERICA DOESN'T FUCKING HELP EITHER. YOU TOLD ME HE WAS GOING TO BE OKAY, WAS THAT EVEN THE FUCKING TRUTH? I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REALISE IT OR NOT BUT HE IS REALLY FUCKING CLOSE TO DYING, LIKE ONE WRONG MOVE AND HE'LL BE DEAD IN SECONDS. I CAN'T FUCKING LIVE WITHOUT HIM." She yelled every word through broken sobs, tears still streaming down her face, her body still shaking. Will pulled her into a hug,
"Hey, breathe, you're okay. He's going to be okay as well."
"He'll just try again, every single fucking time."
"That's partially what we're here to talk about, how we're going to help after he wakes up."
"What if he doesn't?"
"He will, he has to, I'm not letting you lose your only brother" She smiled at that but you could see the pain in her eyes, how she felt she wouldn't get him back.
"Do you have any sort of plan?"
"Do you think he'll be better at Camp Jupiter?"
"No, no chance, it's too risky. He doesn't know many people, he spent way less time there than Camp Half-Blood and just, it won't go well no matter how much Reyna wants to keep him there." She didn't mention that mass and uncontrollable homophobia problems which had been passed on from year's ago, while Jason had tried his best to stop it people still sucked.
"Do you have any ideas?"
"Could I stay here with him? I want to be able to keep an eye on him." She didn't trust him, she wouldn't trust him until she could watch his every move, it sounded psychotic but she couldn't care less.
"'Course." He hoped it would work, more than that he hoped that Nico would wake up. "Is there any way you know that has a chance to wake him up? Something we might not have tried yet?"
"I- maybe." She took a shakey sigh, "Proserpina- Persephone's pomegranate seeds, maybe. I'm not sure." Will had hundreds of questions, most important being, where could they even find them?
"Where do we...?"
"Well... they only work for Pluto kids, Nico used to keep them with him at all times but he ran out after the jar. He- tried to give some to me before everything happened but I didn't take them, that was for the best, he only just had enough to survive the jar. Unless you want to steal from  Proserpina?"
"Couldn't we ask?"
"Well... I've never actually met her... Nico said she didn't like him so she might not give them but even then, I can't be seen in the Underworld. I would die."
"Can I ask why?"
"It's irrelevant, all you need to know is either I have to steal or someone else is going which likely won't end well. Also we have to sneak into the Underworld, no entry allowed after everything that happened in the war." Fuck, well this sounded like it was going to end well.
"Thank you so much Hazel, if you ever need to talk I'm here."
"Thanks." She went to walk off but turned back,"Will... it's not as accurate as it could be because I haven't trained it or anything but... I can sense when someone wants to hurt themselves, I'm not sure how accurate it is yet or anything but yeah." She left without waiting for an answer.
***
"Wait you actually came? Thank you so much Thalia." When he'd sent a message to the hunt he hadn't expected a response for months, let alone Thalia Grace to show up at camp Half-Blood mere hours later.
"Why the fuck is your hair red?"
"Annabeth and Piper had some fun."
"That was not the answer I was expecting Jackson."
"How the Hades did you get here so fast?"
"We were in the area and I was fucking worried about my brother." She didn't know about Nico, he hadn't been sure if she would care, he didn't want to be the one to let her know either way, he also wasn't sure he had a choice there.
"Nothing happened, I'm... just... worried about him."
"I'll talk to him."
"Thanks Thalia; there's something else I should probably tell you..." What was he meant to do? He didn't want to make anyone else have to tell her, he'd been to one who told her to come.
"What the fuck is going on?" If it was about Annabeth she was going to kill whoever hurt her.
"It's about Nico, Bianca's brother."
"Jason's worried about him, that's what he told me last time at least." Okay, she knew a few things.
"Yeah well... we all are... he's in a coma."
"What the fuck Jackson?"
"Just- maybe... don't bring him up, it happened last night an just... yeah."
"How's Annie holding up?"
"She's trying to keep herself together."
"She's not okay is she?" No shit Sherlock, Nico is in a fucking coma, there's a reason both predators of Camp Jupiter are here.
"No one is."
"I'll see you around, Jackson. I'm going to check on my brother."
"Tell me if he needs anything, yeah? I'm worried about him."
"I'll make sure he's okay."
***
"Piper, can we talk?" Time to do it, the son of Jupiter thought to himself. He knew it wouldn't go well but what else was he meant to do? Wait for her to catch on? Fuck she was going to be mad at Leo, he dreaded this but he didn't have a choice.
"What's up Grace?" She answered walking away from her siblings, she hoped this wasn't happening, it couldn't, she didn't want to lose him. She knew his soulmate. She knew it yet she prayed to her mother that it wasn't true, that she still had a chance.
"I-I think we should break up." He said it, he actually fucking said it.
"What?" She knew this was going to come eventually, she knew his soulmate yet tears still ran down her face. She didn't want it to be true, this couldn't be happening.
"I'm..." He could do it, just think of Nico, he'd gone through so much worse yet he still said it, toughen up, stop being so scared. "I'm g-gay." He'd done it, still he wished he hadn't.
"So everything was just made up? All in my head like Here's little dream?" She didn't want to hate him but still she did, her heart ached and yet she wanted him to hurt.
"No- Pipes- it's just..." Yes, it was all a dream, all what Hera had made.
"Give me a fucking reason."
"I do not like girls, Hera had fucked with my head."
"You didn't think of fucking doing this sooner? It's been months Jason."
"Did you expect me to break up with you in the middle of a war? Or a week later when one of my closest friends tries to kill himself? Perhaps when Hera was still fucking with me?"
"So this all meant nothing?"
"I tried Piper, I really fucking tried to make it work." He thought he could do it, grow out of it, toughen up, deal with it.
"You could have fucking told me instead of letting it drag out for this long."
"I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I TRIED FUCKING HARD ENOUGH I WOULDN'T BE A FUCKING FAG AND MAYBE JUST MAYBE I COULD MAKE THINGS WORK. IF YOU COULDN'T FUCKING TELL I DON'T LIKE HAVING MY HEAD FUCKED WITH. I THOUGHT I LIKED YOU BECAUSE A MAGICAL BEING THOUGHT IT MADE SENSE, I HAD NEVER FUCKING MET YOU AND I HAVE KNOW FOR YEARS THAT I DIDN'T LIKE GIRL I JUST THOUGHT I COULD FUCKING GROW OUT OF IT SO I'M SORRY THAT THINGS DIDN'T WORK OUT."
"YOU STILL FUCKING USED ME."
"WHAT PART OF MY THOUGHTS HAD BEEN CHANGED AND MANIPULATED BY HERA DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO BREAK UP WITH YOU, I THOUGHT I LOVED YOU. Just, I'm really sorry." He'd snapped, yelled every single word, she would be mad but he didn't even care anymore. He just wanted to get this done with, he could barely think straight anymore.
"Leo."
"What the fuck?" How did she know? Why did she know? She was going to hate both of them, he wasn't sure what he expected but he hoped it would be kept secret if only for a little longer.
"He's your soulmate."
"He's... my best friend."
"For the record, I fucking hate you Jason." She left at that, trying to hide the tears and her puffy eyes, running back to her cabin. Even with what she knew she wanted it to work, she wanted it to last. She still loved him.
***
The preator of Rome wasn't exactly in the best state of mind, running back to the infirmity, desperately needing the son of Pluto to wake up, it was in a way unbelievable what happened. Trying desperately to hide her tears and fear she bumped into a girl; maybe an inch shorter than her, short black hair, leather jacket.
"Watch it!" She snapped at her, she knew it was rude and unprofessional but honestly she didn't care anymore, her life had been fucked with for so long that she'd given up.
"I'm sorry?" Who the fuck was this girl and why was she being such a dick?
"I said fucking watch it." She was sick of acting like she cared, so what if some random girl hated her, another enemy on the list.
"Calm down, who even are you?"
"Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, daughter of Bellona, Preator of the 12th Legion. You are?"
"Thalia Grace, daughter of Zeus, Lieutenant of Artemis." Artemis? Diana. She'd fucked up.
"Fuck, I'm so sorry, please, I've just found out of my friends is in a coma and I haven't been thinking straight. Please don't tell the hunt, I'm begging you." She rambled on with her apology, she knew she'd fucked up but maybe there was still some kind of hope for her.
"Girl, breathe, I understand, it's fine." She watched as the girl in front of her broke down in sobs and pulled her into an awkward sort of hug. "Nico's gonna be okay."
"Y-you know him?" She stuttered back in shock as piercing electric blue eyes looked back at her, she felt her heart rate speed up.
"Met him when he was ten, don't see much of him anymore, Percy told me what happened, well not what happened but the fact that he's in a coma."
"I don't think anyone really knows what's happening, Solace said it was alcohol, I think we all know it's worse."
"The kid's been through a lot, I mean we all have, but he's had it really hard." She ran her fingers through her short fluffy hair, Reyna felt herself blush; what the fuck was wrong with her?
"Why are you here? Shouldn't you be with the hunt?"
"I'm here to visit my brother, and Annabeth, worried sick about both of them."
"Jason Grace?!" Same godly parent, same last name, it had to be... right?
"I'll take that as you knew him." She loved him, and now, looking at the girl in front of her, her heart skipped a beat like it had a year ago, maybe longer, for him. Wait what? No, she needed to snap out of it, that wasn't okay.
"He was incredible, a stressed mess but still incredible."
"He tends to be like that, I'm gonna go talk to him but stop by cabin one if you want to talk. Also just remember Nico's going to be okay he's stronger than he looks." She walked off leaving the daughter of Bellona standing there, frozen in place for a moment before running back to the infirmary, mind still on the girl that had just left.
***
Thalia walked up towards the Zeus cabin, she wasn't sure what to expect exactly, but she hadn't imagined she would find her brother making out with Leo Valdez, well she thought that was his name, when she opened the door.
"Thalia?!"
"Think I came at a bad time, sorry about that." She knew he was gay, he'd never told her but even after barely seeing each other for years she'd known. Still she wished she'd gotten filled in on the boyfriend, mostly because she didn't actually think he was capable of getting one but he didn't need to know that.
"What are you even doing here?" He tried to hide his fear, she was smiling but that could easily be faked. He didn't want anyone to know, Thalia was... the only part of his family that cared, he didn't want to lose her.
"Checking in on you, Percy said he was worried. Don't worry, he didn't tell me anything, just said that if I was ever close enough to visit he was worried about you and thought we should talk." Fuck, he hadn't told her anything but now she knew half of what he was hiding. He wanted to hate Percy for calling her but he couldn't bring himself to, he didn't tell her anything and, well he missed his sister.
"O-okay...?"
"Leo, that's your name right...?" He nods, still confused by the situation. "Please do not tell me if you are sleeping with my brother, I don't want to know. However do tell me how long you've been together because I was still thinking Jason is completely hopeless." He cracked a smile but didn't say anything, the Grace sibling in the same room was sending him into a pan-ic.
"I was dating Piper when I last saw you? I'm not that hopeless, you're the one that still can't get anyone, unless you want to count Luke?"
"Fuck you, I was tweleve okay? I was an idiot-"
"He's hot."
"This is why I was more confused when I thought you were dating that girl then when I walked in on you kissing your best friend."
"How obvious was it?"
"I knew after three minutes, or maybe you just had horrible chemistry with Piper. Also I've got my eye on someone so you can stop with Luke."
"If it's Percy, like half of camp, he is still taken."
"Oh ew no, I'm not telling you who it is, at least not until you tell me more about this."
"I thought being in the hunt meant you weren't allowed to date?"
"Technically it said free from men, hopefully they won't mind if I get a girlfriend."
"You're gay? Actually thinking about it that makes a lot of sense, dumb question."
"I was gonna say, take a single look at me."
"Previous comment, you getting a girlfriend? Unlikely."
"I can get a better girlfriend than you."
"I'm gay and I was mind controlled, what did you except?" He knew he flinched at the word, he knew Leo noticed because he grabbed onto his hand gently.
"I would say you can do better but you can't, how are you even tricking Leo into dating you?"
"Believe it or not he's here willingly."
"I can confirm that." Leo added, slightly shocking both of them as they'd forgotten he was there. "I'll leave, you two need to talk, properly." He was shocked with how seriously he'd let him say the the last part, he'd meant it but would often cover that with jokes to hide the reality. He wanted to kiss Jason as he left but decided against it, it felt too weird with his sister there. "Bye Sparky, meet me in the bunker later."
***
"So."
"So." Neither of them wanted to start the conversation, uncomfortable silence filled the air.
"Are you going to tell me about your boyfriend or do I need to hunt him down and ask him?" He didn't even know what to say, he barely saw Thalia, they saw each other so little that talking always felt at bit weird.
"Why is that the first thing you ask?" He desperately wanted to shift the conversation back to what it was before, something that meant just about nothing.
"Because I have no idea what to say." After the mask had worn off the two barely knew eachother, to her he was still that three year old who tried to eat a stapler. The entire conversation was just a cover for how scared they both were, how clueless they were.
"We could just... not have this conversation?"
"Jason everyone's worried about you, what's going on?"
"Nothing, just... everything that's happened, life's a lot."
"I get that, are you doing okay?"
"Just stressed and nightmares."
"Prophetic nightmares?"
"No, Camp Jupiter was a lot, before me and Reyna were preator I mean. And seeing Nico passed out almost dead three times isn't exactly fun."
"Three times? Why did no one think to say anything? What the hell even happened?"
"First time he got attacked by a Cyclops, found him passed out outside of the Hades cabin with Piper passed out on top of him. The other two times... attempted suicide, well we can't be sure on the second one but that's what it looked like." He said each word so calmly it was like he was describing the weather and not how one of his best friends had almost died, he couldn't cry, his own mind wouldn't let him. Thalia didn't have any words, she could hardly imagine how hard that would be, how could he sleep after seeing his friends body so still, almost lifeless. "Don't worry about me, I've seen a lot but I'll be fine."
"You shouldn't have gone through it."
"No, it makes me who I am, it makes me a person. I'd rather have seen Nico there rather than seen his dead body. I saw Elliot's dead body and I hated it then, I hate it now, but it made me realise we needed change. I couldn't change their opinions but I could try; everyone goes through a lot, it's a part of life."
"It doesn't mean you have to handle it alone, you're allowed to have emotions, you're more than a solider."
"Are you sure about that because I'm not, I've been a solider my entire life, emotions are just what get in the way in that."
"You're a human, you're meant to feel something, being a soldier shouldn't compromise your humanity, you're more than that."
"When does humanity become weakness?"
"Maybe it's okay to be weak sometimes, let your guard down for once."
"That's how you get hurt."
"It's also how you can be happy, you let your guard down around Leo and he clearly makes you happy."
"I hurt Piper because of that."
"People will get hurt, no matter what you do, it's just a part of life. You've been hurt and you haven't let your guard down after you tried to eat that stapler so you might as well be happy. You've spent so long fighting but that doesn't define you, you're a person."
"I'm managing, thank you for coming out here Thalia."
"Reach out if you ever need anything okay?"
"Yeah okay," he knew he wouldn't, it's not how he was made and breaking away from that felt weird. "I just have one question, who's this girl you like? In the hunt? Camp? Mortal?"
"Tell me about you and Leo and I'll consider it."
"I asked what he'd do if I was gay, he asked what I'd do if he kissed me and yeah that happened. Then he ran off and I put my hand through an open flame to show my love and got scolded."
"I don't even want to know how the second part happened and why but that's adorable."
"So..."
"Well okay so I don't really know her, we sort of just met but she's kind of adorable in a she could probably kill you if she wanted to way."
"Just tell me who it is."
"Her name is Reyna."
"Reyna as in Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano, daughter of Bellona, Preator of the 12th Legion?" He cringed at his pronunciation of her last name.
"That would be the one...?"
"I know her, she's terrifying, trust me you do not want to piss off her dogs."
"She has dogs?"
"I'm pretty sure I've seen those dogs eat people."
"They probably deserved it, they sound adorable, now how exactly do I ask her out?"
"No on has yet been brave enough to do that I'm pretty sure."
"Well I guess I'll be the first." Jason didn't tell her about Reyna apposing on removing the law which would make being gay punishable by death, he didn't even know what she thought anymore, things change. At least he hoped they had.
***
"Hey Firecracker, what's up?" The son of Hephaestus jumped, not realising his boyfriend was in front of him.
"Maths."
"Why?" Jason hadn't exactly gone to school, anything he learnt was at Camp Jupiter and, we they tended to be more interested in teaching children how to lose their emotion and fight mercilessly rather than the value of x.
"Because I'm working on a project? And I just enjoy maths?"
"How do you enjoy it? It's so confusing."
"It's not confusing, the English language, yes, maths, no."
"I have never been to an actual school, they're both confusing."
"Sparky, my education is nowhere near decent and yet I've been doing college level maths since I was five."
"One of us has to be the smart one and clearly it not me."
"You're the one that makes sure I don't accidentally blow up camp."
"I'll take it." They both laughed before Leo went back to work, it was incredible. Jason just watched as he would stare at the paper for a few seconds before writing out the numbers, answers to questions he couldn't explain, as if it was the simplest thing he could imagine. Sketching on his notebook, every line he drew perfectly straight without the need for a ruler which he'd not realised until then. How he bit his lip while focusing and how he tapped something in morse code, he wasn't sure what but it was always the same thing, over and over again. So focused he barely saw the world around him, as if everyone and everything had disappeared. "Are you just going to watch me until I finish?"
"I'm going to watch you until you kiss me." He laughed back, smiling as Leo went back to his work, only stopping to swear in either English, Greek or Spanish. "Valdez, how long exactly are you planning to do this for?"
"Just give me fifteen minutes, I'm trying to make a working Ironman suit."
"Why are you...?"
"I have a younger brother, he likes Ironman." After five minutes of a cycle of Leo sketching, swearing and then setting something on fire Jason walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around the son of Hephaestus.
"Take a break, you look like you're going to set this entire place on fire."
"Why does Ironman basically walk around in a tank?"
"Because he's a fictional character and no one is meant to try and recreate his suit functionally." He said, kissing him on the cheek.
"You're like a puppy, Gracie."
"I mean I was raised by wolves, what did you expect?"
"That explains the growling."
"The what?"
"You growl like a dog when you're mad, most people don't realise." Jason blushed a little as Leo turned around and kissed him, "It's adorable."
"You're adorable." He kissed him again, running his hand though his shaggy blonde hair that had grown out after their time on the Argo II and camp. Jason had a hand on his neck, pulling him as close as he possibly could, his hands were rough from the years of fighting but he placed then there so gently it made him shiver.
"Hey Leo, Harely want-"
"Seriously? The second time today, we need to learn how to lock doors."
"I think just closing it would work, the it was open when I got here." Percy raised his hands in surrender, "Don't blame me."
"Don't let anyone find out, please." Leo said in a panic, Percy would be fine, he knew that, still it was another person and the more people know the more likely someone messes up an says something.
"'Course, you okay Leo?"
"Yeah, just... wondering who's gonna walk in on us next."
"Thalia did this morning; don't worry, she won't say anything." Jason explained, pulling Leo into a hug.
"If anyone gives you shit I'll fucking kill them."
"Everything's been fine, just... bit off after what Calypso said and well just life. I want people to know eventually but just... yeah."
"Do I need to find out how to kill and immortal goddess because I will."
"I'll join you in making her suffer." Jason added
"It's fine, she's trapped on an island, also I can burn anything she tries to send me."
"Let me know if anyone is saying anything to either of you; also don't feel pressured to tell anyone, you don't owe it to them, if you want to tell people do it because you want to not because you feel like you owe them. Leo, Harely was looking for you, I don't know why but he said something about Ironman so I'm hoping that makes sense to you." He left and closed the door, smiling at both of them.
"You okay Firecracker?"
"Did he know? He didn't seem that surprised."
"He knew about me, I didn't tell him anything about us."
"You can tell people, I don't mind."
"You looked sick when Percy walked in, it's okay if you don't want anyone to know."
"Just reminds me of Calypso... and my family, and the foster homes I ran from. I know things are different here, well... I'm hoping they are, but.."
"It stays with you? That's like me and the Romans."
"Who knows that you're gay?"
"Just you, Percy and Thalia. Have you told anyone?"
"Will and Nico, I want to tell Piper but I want to know what I am before really telling anyone else."
"I didn't expect you to tell Nico before Piper."
"Neither did I; I think he hates me."
"Why would he hate you?" He didn't even know if Nico remembered that night, they were both really drunk, he was high and still terrified of the son of Hades.
"Well, I didn't exactly tell him..."
"What do you mean by that?" Jason's mind try to come up with explanations but his brain was dry, neither of them had told him anything, they both seem to tolerate eachother. They weren't exactly close but it made sense, they respected eachother in a way but he knew they'd be close if they took the time to talk for once.
"I slept with him when we were both drunk, I don't know if he remembers. Nothing ever happened again and I'm pretty sure he can't remember so I just never really talked to him and well he hates me now."
"He doesn't hate you, you know that right? When he wakes up you two should talk, you have more in common than you want to admit."
"We're demigods Gracie, we all having something in common. Trauma, anxiety, ADHD, and a habit of nearly getting murdered." He ruffled his hair and kissed the son of Hephaestus softly, trying to forget the fact that his boyfriend and one if his best friends slept together and one of them might not even remember.
***
In, out, breath, you're going to be okay, at least that's what he told himself. The son of Apollo walked through the forest, desperately trying to clear his mind, he wouldn't break down I front of the younger campers. He hated he'd asked for someone to fill in for an extra hour since he already had a few hours off in the morning but he needed a break from everyone and everything otherwise he was scared he'd snap. He focused on the sound of leaves crunching beneath his feet, the sound of the wind; anything to take him away from reality. For even ten seconds he wanted to forget about Nico, Austin and basically everyone and everything in his life, he wished the weight of the world wouldn't be on his back, even if it was only for ten seconds. He knew he shouldn't feel that way, it was his job, if he wasn't good enough to fight he'd have to work himself to death trying to be half as useful. The effect of the painkillers had worn off, his entire body ached, feeling every broken, twisted, hurt part of everyone he'd healed. Every rib felt broken, bones shattered with every break he'd healed after the war, the stinging of cuts and scrapes, his head pounded in pain and his muscles felt as though they'd been torn and shredded a hundred times over. It wasn't real, none of it had happened, just the price for healing, taking their pain. He wished for the relief of numbness to not feel so much not entirely sure if he meant physically, mentally or emotionally, it was all too much. The son of Apollo broke down tears streamed down his face, breaking down on the ground his shakey sobs breaking through the almost silence of the forest. He was thankful he didn't have anything with him, nothing sharp, no medication, no cigarettes; they would have noticed, he couldn't let anyone see how scared he was. He was wearing Lee's flannel like he always did, clinging to his memory, the only thing keeping him sane. His voice soothing over every problem, telling him to slow down and take every step one by one, his reassurance that everything would be okay. Then again nothing was. Grabbing at the sticks and stones around him until his hands touched a smooth leather, confused he brushed away the dirt and saw a notebook. Picking it up and flicking through the pages he recognised the writing it started as Lee's, then half way through it changed to Austins, it had just about everything written in there. Will chocked back a sob, his tears smudging the perfect lines of ink in Austin's surprisingly neat handwriting.
"William are you alright?" He snapped his head around and the sound of Chiron's voice, clear and caring.
"I-I'm fine." He wasn't sure why he kept telling people that when he couldn't have been further away from the truth.
"I know recent events have been a lot on you, for all the time you spend taking care of others maybe you should spend some time taking care of yourself."
"I told you I'm fine." He couldn't even convince himself let alone Chiron, he wished he were dead but that would never be an option, he had people to take care of, he wouldn't leave them.
"It's alright to not always be alright, surely of all people you know that William."
"Don't- just- call me Will, it's too formal."
"Of course; tell me, what's that in your hand?"
"I-It's a notebook, well, Lee's notebook that he gave to Austin before the first war. I found it buried under the sticks and dirt."
"Did he happen to keep this on him?"
"Never went anywhere without it... which means we're closer to finding him."
"Things always get better Will, I know it seems as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders but things get better with time."
"What if they don't? What if we can't find Austin? What if something happened to him?"
"We can only hope that he is alive and well, while the forest is dangerous he was a skilled camper and I have full belief that he is alive."
"So do I, I don't know if I could deal with another dead brother, or if any of the other Apollo kids could. Either they're so young they'll be traumatised by it either way or they've already lost two and can't take it anymore." He didn't admit that he'd almost been the third dead, no one else needed to know that much.
"Come, it's getting late, your siblings are worried about you. Kayla started checking to see if every sharp object and dangerous medication was still in the infirmary after the first hour-"
"How long have I been here? I thought it's been like twenty minutes."
"It's been three hours, don't worry, everything is fine, your siblings and friends know how to run things, you need to let yourself take a break."
"I'm taking one now."
"You need to take breaks before you worry and overwork yourself to the point of extremes; back to my previous point, is that something I should be worried about?"
"I'm fine, please, just let me keep working, I swear I can still help them."
"Will, sometimes it's about helping yourself, not just others. If you ever need to talk I'm here, my doors will always be open, I am also asking you to spend less hours working as I have been informed that without Nectar and Ambrosia you would have been dead for exhaustion and that you have a habit of working twenty four hour shifts every day for weeks on end."
"After the war, so much happened, so many people got hurt, I need to help, I'm the only real healer."
"You're more than just a healer."
"Thank you." Will started to stand, legs shaking, breath still short and half covered in dirt. As the two started to head back out the forest Chiron turned to him.
"Your boyfriend is going to live, he's strong and he's got you to help him."
"How do you know about me and Nico?" He was stunned, he'd thought they'd been okay at hiding it.
"The way you talk about him, like Patroclus and Achilles."
"They were actually...?"
"They were just like you two."
***

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Credits to Gill_Sikes128 for giving the idea of using Chiron for the last part :)