South Park Oneshots & Texts

Custom Ordered - Creek x Reader

"Yo."

You answered your phone, surprised to be getting a call from your cousin, Kenny.

"You wanna make 5 grand?" he asked without greeting you, and you could hear your aunt Carol and uncle Stuart yelling at each other in the background. Your families were cut from the same cloth, and you got along well with your McCormick cousins because you had essentially lived the same childhood.

"Anything illegal?" you asked, not really caring if the answer was yes or no. You were a single mom of a three year old boy, struggling to make ends meet and living on your own in North Park, so you always heard out an opportunity to make some cash.

"No, totally above board."

"To do what?"

"Get pregnant."

"What?!"

You listened, mouth ajar, as Kenny explained that his two gay friends, Craig and Tweek, wanted to have a baby, but didn't have the money for a surrogate or IVF.

"I dunno, man, fucking two gay dudes for cash seems icky."

"They're really cool guys, just come and meet them! They really want to meet you since I showed them pictures of your son, since he looks just like his dad, and they want their kid to look like them."

"You showed them pictures already?! Jeez, dude, it feels like you're pimping me out."

You heard Kenny laugh through the phone before continuing. "Yeah, well, if you go through with it, you better cut me in on it. I totally networked the whole deal for you."

"You're a sick fuck, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah. Why don't you come on down to South Park and meet them? Tweek's family owns the coffee shop in town, the least you can do is sit down with them and hear them out."

~

You awkwardly spun your mug in front of you as you sat next to Kenny, across from Craig and Tweek. Your son sat in your lap, chewing on a pastry.

"He really does look just like his father, she's got weak genes," Kenny mentioned as he showed them a photo of your deadbeat baby daddy, Trent Boyett.

"Hey!" you complained.

"Well, that's what they're looking for, right guys?" Kenny asked Craig and Tweek, who nodded.

"I don't want you to feel weird about this, y/n, but we don't have a lot of options on our budget." Craig rested his hand over Tweek's on the table, his wedding ring sparkling in the bright lights of the cafe.

You rested your head on (son's name)'s head, giving him a kiss. Five grand could change a lot for the both of you, but it also meant a commitment of nine months of pregnancy and giving birth. Your first pregnancy was a breeze, though, and the delivery and recovery went smoothly, but you were also 21 and so young. Three years of constant work and mothering made you feel a lot older than 24, and you didn't know how your body would handle a second pregnancy.

"We'd be there for you every step of the way, obviously. Take you to all of the doctor's appointments, babysit, whatever you needed," Tweek offered in a nervous, uneven tone.

"And they're great in bed, so I hear," Kenny added before you elbowed him in the ribs.

"AGH! From who?!" Tweek's eyes flitted manically between Kenny and Craig as he waited for an answer.

"An anonymous old roommate of yours who shared a wall and heard plenty."

"Fuckin' Bebe," Craig said with an eye roll.