The Sibirian Express - COMPLETE

Chapter 13

The rest of the night I didn't sleep a wink. Everytime I close my eyes or blink, all I see is Ivan's fisr and a pair of black eyes. I don't know for how long I've been sitting on the floor where Ivan had left me. Only once question keeps repading in my head: How? 

How could it have come to this?
How could it all escalate like this?
How could I lose Ivan without any warning?

I was aware from the beginning that it was a dangerous game to get involved with him, but I never expected anything like this. Our conversations, the kisses, this conection that we had.. or at least that I thought we had was all gone now. Ivan threw it all away and the worst part is, that it probably didn't even mean anything to him. Perhaps he just wanted to pass some time or maybe try to take advantage of me, so he could get something usefull about Rocky and Apollo. 

Well, whaterver it was, he got it and I'm sitting in the shambles that has now become my life. 

My thoughts wander to Apollo as he lies in his own pool of blood. I haven't been this scared in a long time, since Mickey died. The hours sitting in the hospital were the worst. Fearing for Apollo's life and not knowing if he would make it and Mary Ann.. Oh God, Mary Ann! 

The poor woman will have to come to terms with a lot of things now an not only the fact that her husband is paraolegic from now on. She had so much hate in her eyes when she confronted me about Ivan and rightfully so. The slap was justified and she shouldn't have left it at just one. 

A slight panic starts to rise up in me. I wonder if she has told Rocky and Adrian about her discovery. How am I ever going to face them all again? 

My thoughts are abruptly interrupted by a knock. My head jerks up from my knees as my whole body starts to tens up. 

"Ivan?" I whisper softly. 

A small part in me had hoped that he would come back. No, he wouldn't come here again, would he? At least he wouldn't really have any reason to. 

A second knock. 

My body remains rooted to the ground. My eyes wide open and focused on the door. "Yo, Lexi? You in there?"

I instantly feel my body relaxing when I hear Rocky's voice. I rise very slowly and make my way to the door. My hand reaches for the door handle, but I pause for a moment before turning the handle to open the door. 

"You all right?" Rocky asks immediately when he sees my tear-stained face. My eyes are red and have a slight swelling from crying the whole time. I just nod completly exhausted, as I silently throw the rest of my clothes into the suitcase. 

"Apollo?", is all that I can manage to bring out. 

"He's fine, considering the circumstances. However, he'll be in the hospital for a while until they can release him. Mary Ann is staying with him" Adrian enlightens me, as we walk down the hall to the lobby.

My eyes scan the entire hallway for Ivan in vain, but to no success. Maybe he is already gone. I lower my head as we reach the cab. I hand my suitcase to the driver and turn around one last time. One last glance at my srroundings before I get into the back of the car. 


Ivan's P.O.V.

Ivans knuckles were bruiesed and about to bleed. He could no longer contain his rage and he was not one of those who easily blew up. He can only see her angelic face, streaming with tears and filled with panic and fear. Fear of him. 

He still can't believe what he had actually did. Almost killing Apollo was one thing, the American had it coming. He was to driven by his ego to realize, what the reality was. He was much too old and from what Ivan saw in the ring, the training hand't been very intense either. 

No, Apollo was a fight and he's not sorry for what happend ... but everything that had happend afterwards. 

Before Ivan realized it, his first clenched and landed a punch against a wall. A flashback from a few hours ago hit him. 

Alexa!

Ivan forced himself to calm down. He had to get himself under control. The whole "party" in the hotel room ... Ludmilla. How could he let her provoke him like that. How could he let himself get so drunk?

After all there was a good reason why he didn't drink in the first place. But wrost thing was what he did to her. It was seconds, but those seconds decided everything. 

Alexa had slaped him in the face. He didn't really noticed it, not to mention that he barely felt anything. Ivan didn't know pain, but he knew all to well how to cause pain. In his drunken state he had lost control. Before he even realized what had happend and what he was doing, or rather who he was doing it to, he had already grabbed her and pushed her against the wall. 

He never intended to hit her and he would never. No matter how brutall he was in the ring, Ivan would never get physical with a woman ... but that's exactly what he did. He can still clearly see how fear-filled her big blue eyes are. At that moment he was sober again, but it didn't matter, because her words stabbed him in his icy heart.

"Ivan please," she pleads desperately. "Just go."

But he can't. Even if she would hate him forever, he can't let her go and he would never forgive himself for that. 

Even though he left, he was still near her room. He just couldn't stay away from her. Hours later, he saw Balboa and his wife approaching Alexa's room. He couldn't hear much, but what he could hear was the pain in her sweet voice. Pain that he was responsible for. 

Ivan stayed in the shadows, knowing that she had been through enough at the moment, but as he watched her get into the car and drive away, he realized that it might have been the very last time, that he saw her.