The Sibirian Express - COMPLETE

Chapter 14

A month has passed since the fight between Apollo and Ivan. A month in which I punished myself and isolated myself from the outside world. Rocky tied to persuade me to come and stay with him and Adrian temporarily until we knew more about Apollo's condition and when he would finally be released from hospital. 

But I just couldn't accept his offer. I couldn't bare the fact to look him in the eye. Not after what had happened. 

Christoph approved my vaccation from work, of course after I wrote the article about the fight. The article alone had cost me so much strenght. 

A month since I saw anyone. I literally barricaded myself in my apartment. I didn't want to see anyone, I couldn't see anyone. For the first two weeks, all I did was cry. I cried out of fear for Apollo, guilt but mainly because of him. 

In the thrid week, my thoughts took control of me. 

As much as the last month was hell. HE was always on my mind. Those images would haunt me forever. Everytime I close my eyes, everytime there's a sound from outside, all I can see is his fist. His fist and the ice-cold, empty look in his eyes. I hear myself screaming desperately over and over again, begging Rocky to please throw in the towel.

"Rocky, please"

I hear myself scream and feel the hot tears running down my face.

"He's killing him!"

I can still clearly feel myself kneeling next to Apollo and praying to all the gods to please spare him whilest he twitches in my arms and struggles desperately for air.

But the worst thing and the thing I'm most ashamed of, is what happend afterwards. The hatred in his eyes. At that moment I thought my heart would jump out if my chest. Whatever happend in the ring, I never thought that Ivan would get violent with me, especially not the way he was.

I can't take it anymore, the thoughts and flashbacks. After four weeks in self.isolation I decide to leave my apartment and I know exactly where I have to go. 

Ivan's P.O.V.

He thought it would get easier with time but he was wrong.

So wrong.

For the first two weeks, all he could think about was her. Her beautiful face and her enchanting laugh. Of the sparkling eyes that were once so full of joy. He took that away from her. 

In less than 24 hours he took everything from her and he would never forgive himself for that. He has no regrets about what he did to Apollo. For Ivan boxing was like any other fight. Dangerous.

Anyone who got involed knew what could happen, and for Ivan it was always kill or be killed. But when he came to realization and realized what he had done, he wanted to tear himself to pieces.

How could he have been that stupid?

In the thrid week, everything left him cold. He trained, boxed, destroyed, but nothing had the same meaning for him anymore. Not when she was no longer there.

In the fourth week, he completly lost his temper. During a sparring session, he took out all his frustration on the poor sparing partner that was assihned to him as a partner. He didn't even last two minutes before he landed unconscious on the floor. 

Nikolai didn't think that was a bad thing, it just showed how dangerous Ivan really was. At that moment however, he realized that if he was ever to have any sense again, he had to have her back.