The Sibirian Express - COMPLETE

Chapter 15

The sun shone warmly down on my pale skin. It was still relatively warm for mid-September. I walked around absent-mindedly. the people around me were laughing and joking around, but no matter how warm it was,, my world was now all black and white. 

I went to the only place where I could finally let it all out. I went to the cemetery. On the way I picked up flowers and a small smile played around my lips again after a month, because I knew if Mickey was still alive he would be screaming at me what to do with flowers. 

When I arrived at his gravestone, I sat down on the ground next to his grave and places the flowers against the stone as I looked at the engraving for a moment. 

IN LOVING MEMORY
MICKEY GOLDMILL
APRIL 7, 1906 - AUGUST 15, 1981

We lost him four years ago. Tears start to stream down my face. "Hey, Mick. I know I haven't visited you for a long time. I'm sorry, but I just coulnd't bring myself to do it. This place just makes it more real that you're just not here anymore." A sob overcomes me.

"There's a lot to tell, although I'm sure you've already seen it all." I wipe a tear away from my cheek with the back of my hand. 

"I know you hate it when I cry. I have no idea where to even start. I still have the job, that you've got me. You always said I should try to do something better with my writing, but nothing has come up yet." Ifight against my tears in vain. How I wish he was still here.

"I'm sure you've heard what had happend to Apollo. It was terrible! He didn't stand a chance from the start. I hate myself for saying this, but he was arrogant and conceited the whole time. He completely neglected his training and ..." by now I'm not even trying to hold back my tears, It feels so liberating. 

"I was so scared for him! I ... I begged Rocky to finally throw the fucking towel!" I scream out.

"That reminded me so much of the fight against Clubber. When you..."

Inhale, exhale.

"When you were dying. I know you screamed at him until he went out, but ..." My head sinks down to my chest.

"I'm sure you know about Ivan too. I wonder what you would say. Would you shout at me? I really didn't plan this it's just after the interview, there was something between us, but well, it doesn't matter now, I guess. After everything that had happend. I can't forgive him. Not when he almost killed Apollo and Mary Ann found out and she slapped me in the face." 

I realize how I've talked myself into a frenzy. 

I ... I just don't know what to do. I need you, Mickey!" I drop my body onto his grave and cry as I realize that the sun has suddenly been blocked out above me as a hand gently wraps around my shoulder.