Raat Akeli Hai | 𝒂𝒏𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒋

XXVI. pehla pyaar, beeta kal

Mila yun, jaise bichda na tu
Mila yun, jaise bigda na tu

•
vanraj :

I felt the moisture of her tears on my chest as she sobbed, clutching onto me. The crying was nearing an end.

"Anu?", I asked as softly as possible.
She released me and sat up, wiping her tears, burying her face in her hands.
"Itna dard ho raha hai toh kyu jaane de rahi ho?", I asked. Although I was rather unemotional, it hurt to see a woman of that strength break down so helplessly.
She drew in a deep breath.

She sighed, and looked up, straight before her.
As if dazed.
"Kis haq se rok lu?", She asked softly.
"Pyaar ke haq se.", I replied.
She smiled, a tragic smile.
"Jis pyaar ko maine unki khushi ke liye chod diya.. ab unhe rok kar aur naa khush kar du? Aache bhale toh the woh 5 saal.. mujhse dur. Mujhse milne se pehle bhi khush hi toh the.. 25 saal, akele, kabhi shayad koi girlfriend ho na ho.. khush.", She said, I could hear the ache in her voice.

It was an old friend of mine.
Guilt.
I could not believe that Anupamaa too had found herself drawn into the ocean of guilt, like me.
The tables had turned terribly.

"Do pal ke pyaar.. romance.. ke liye unki zindagi bhar ki khushiyan cheen lu, Mister Shah?", She asked looking at me, "Shruti ji bina baggage ke hai.. unka saath tab nibhaya jab koi nehi tha. Ha.. unn dono ke beech meri wajah se darar aayi.. lekin woh theek ho jayega. Waqt theek kar dega. Mere saath woh teen saal the.. dukhi. Kabhi meri zimmedariyan.. kabhi..", She drew in a deep breath,
"Mera baggage.. lekin abhi woh 4 saalon se Shruti ji ke saath hai. Kabhi unke beech na jhagda hua, na judai."

She did have a point.

She stood up.
"Chaliye.. ghar jaana hai.", She said straightening up.
I stood up as she started walking towards the taxi stand.
There was a florist shop in the corner. I noticed Anupamaa look at the flowers, a little lost.
There were so many young people roaming with their lovers, happy, in their own bliss.

"Aapki bhi toh thi na ek.. Rittika.. ha. Kaise pyaar ho gaya usko aap jaise aadmi se?", She asked abruptly.

"Arrey yaar.. Anu ab yaad mat dilao..", I said half embarrassed.
She smiled a little.
"Kyu? Mujhe bhi toh pata chale kaisi thi aapki pehli premika.", She said, "Mili toh mai hu.. bohot khubsurat thi, itna pata hai.. lekin aage?"

I smiled at her, awkwardly.
"Woh..", I sighed, "Bewakuf tha mai pyaar mein.. woh bohot bade ghar ki thi.. aur mai.. toh khaair tum jaanti hi ho. Bacche the.. pyaar ho gaya. Durr se usse dekhna, valentine's pe phool khareedkar dena.. yehi sab. Phir ek din usne mujhe meri aukaat dikhayi.. aur chali gayi."

I gulped.
There was a moment of silence.

"Uski shaadi yahan ke kisi NRI se ho gayi.. jis din usne India choda, uss din maine thaan li.. ki ek din mai bada aadmi bankar dikhaunga. Mai phir kabhi pyaar mein itna bewakuf nehi banunga.. itna kamzoor nehi ki kisi ladki ke khaatir apni izzat tak ko bhula kar uski shaadi mein marr kha lu.. keh sakti ho.. uski flight India se udi.. aur mere andar se pyaar ki gunjaish bhi le gayi.", I said honestly, looking up at the sky.

"Phir Kavya kaise iss sab mein aayi? Kyuki pyaar toh aap usse karte nehi itna mujhe bhi pata hai. Kabhi kia.. aisa bhi lagta nehi hai.", She said frankly.

•

anupamaa:

I watched him dive into a sense of nostalgia.
As if remembering the most tragic beautiful incident.