The Chaos Crew (Statehumans)

Scapegoats

California and Texas were running through the halls of the state conference building, since both of them arrived late.

"Why the hell do we need a building this big???" Texas exclaimed, out of breath from running down multiple hallways.

"I dunno... to make the US look more important?" California said as they reached the elevator that would take them to the meeting hall. Texas rolled his eyes.

"It's redundant. We're the only ones who visit this building," Texas said as he pushed the button to carry them up. The doors started to close, however, a hand stopped the doors from shutting. Florida and Alabama squeezed in. "Where'd you two come from?" Texas asked.

"We were trailin' behind you two. The door started to close as we turned the corner so we rushed on over," Alabama said. California sighed.

"We're always late... I'm surprised the others haven't chewed us out for that yet," California noted.

"Maybe it's cause these meetings don't do nun," Alabama muttered. "I mean, it's not like we're talkin' politics or anythin' now are we?"

"I guess not... what are the meetings about?" California asked.

"I literally have no idea. I just learned how to fall asleep with my eyes open so I can avoid participating," Florida said.

"Oh, that's why you're always staring off into space," Texas said "I think last meeting there was this whole ordeal about a bank bein' robbed? some kinda heist? I dunno," He added as the elevator doors opened to reveal the meeting room. All the states within the meeting room stared at the late attendees with intense expressions. When the four states stepped into the meeting room, they were immediately met with five police officers subduing them.

"What the f*ck?!?" California exclaimed as he was forcefully handcuffed. The others got similar treatment, except for Florida, who had two officers furiously trying to empty his pockets of any sort of weapons, only to be met with a long chain of tied-together handkerchiefs that seemed to be never ending.

"If you four are surprised, imagine how WE felt upon learning that the four of you are no-good CRIMINALS!" New York exclaimed.

"What are you talkin' about?!" Alabama exclaimed.

"Don't play dumb! We have all the evidence right here!" New Jersey exclaimed, pulling out a briefcase full of stolen documents, artifacts, money, and a baby alligator.

"JIMMY! Hes my son!" Florida exclaimed.

"Florida, you stole him from a zoo," Delaware said. The other three states glared at Florida.

"Ok, so Florida admitted to stealing a baby gator, but I didn't steal anything!" California exclaimed.

"Then why did we find your hair on this stolen crown?! We know how much you love your jewelry," New York sneered. California gasped dramatically.

"Babe, how could you! I don't know how my hair got on that crown, but you CANNOT use my love of accessories as evidence against me!!!" California exclaimed. New York shook his head in disappointment, and then looked to Alabama and Texas.

"And we found your guy's fingerprints all over these stolen documents and money... and seeing how the four of you are always peculiarly late to every meeting... we know you must be working together!" New York said. "I truly am disappointed... officers, take them away."

"Wait!! Baby, you can't do this to me!!!" California exclaimed.

"I have to do what's right babe... I'll promise you some conjugal visits if you swear to never commit another felony," New York said dramatically. California had a shocked look on his face as the police dragged the four of them out of the room.