The Chaos Crew (Statehumans)

Revenge

The four scapegoats were staring at Ohio in confusion after his 'business' proposition.

"Work for you? What do you mean work for you?" Texas asked incredulously. Ohio chuckled.

"You see friends, I'm on a mission to catch a variety of criminals... criminals who have disguised themselves amongst our society. These criminals used the four of you as convenient scapegoats... and as you saw just a few hours ago, our justice system is all but incapable of making seemingly coherent decisions," Ohio explained.

"Wait... so what do you want the four of us to do?" California asked.

"Well, you four are strong, able-bodied, attractive, and expendable... I'm more of a... source of information. If I had you four as my agents, I could finally destroy this ring of criminals from the inside... plus, you guys would be able to look super sexy and save the entire world so... it's a pretty good deal," Ohio said.

"... Wait, what does being attractive have to do with anything?" Alabama asked.

"I'd be less inclined to employ you if you were ugly," Ohio said.

"Well that's just mean," Florida said. California crossed his arms defiantly.

"Yeah, and we're not just gonna blindly trust you! If you knew we were innocent this whole time, why did you let us get locked up in federal prison?!" California exclaimed.

"To open your eyes, California, to the injustices of this world!" Ohio exclaimed.

"Bullsh*t, you're just trying to entrap us into agreeing to work with you. We're just going to sit here and serve time, and you just gotta live with the guilt of knowing you coulda prevented this," Texas said, as the four proceeded to pretend that Ohio wasn't there. Ohio shook his head.

"Oh, I'll be back... I know you'll agree to work with me in due time...,"

"I can't hear you, I'm too cool," Florida said, staring at a wall indignantly. Ohio shrugged and walked away.

"Oh... we'll see... we'll see...,"

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A couple days later, the group was playing Go Fish in the prison's recreational yard, just chatting about the weather.

"It's so nice outside... I wish I could go fishing right now... I miss freedom," Texas said. Florida shrugged, pulling an unopened lollipop from his ponytail and unwrapping it.

"it's kinda fun here, I dunno. The communal showers are interesting," Florida said. Texas glared at him.

"That's only because you managed to switch out my shampoo for hot sauce... I can't believe you haven't been put in solitary confinement yet," Texas said. 

"Where do you think we are, Alcatraz?" California asked. Florida shook his head.

"No, no, he has a point. I think it's probably just because there are only two guards in this whole prison, and we're the only inmates here," Florida said.

"Yeah... man, that's kinda weird. I dunno why I expected more people to be here," Alabama said. Texas groaned. 

"Maybe the justice system is only good at locking up innocent people...," Texas said. California shook his head.

"No, actually, Hollywood is right over there," California said, pointing over at Hollywood lifting weights on the other side of the yard.

"Oh yeah, I forgot he's here too...," Texas said. Suddenly, a guard approached the group. 

"California, you have a visitor," The guard said. California smiled.

"Yay! The conjugal visit!" California exclaimed.

"No, it's just a normal visit," The guard said. California frowned.

"Oh... well that's mean... first he doesn't visit me at all for two days and doesn't even give me a conjugal visit?" California said with a disappointed tone. The guard led California to the visit windows, where he saw New York on the other side. To Californias surprise, he had his arm wrapped around a girl, whom California didn't recognize.

"Hey babe...," New York said. California felt weird seeing his boyfriend so close to someone California had never even seen before. He noticed that she was wearing a gorgeous seven-strand pearl necklace with a sapphire clasp...

"Hey... um... who's this?" California asked, motioning to the girl. New York glanced over at her and chucked nervously, before clearing his throat.

"Well... you see Cali, with you being in federal prison and all... I figured that maybe it's best if we both move on-,"

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Texas, Florida, and Alabama were hanging out in their cells when they suddenly heard a scream that nearly shook the earth.

"What the hell was that?" Texas asked. 

"It sounded like the embodiment of sorrow," Florida said.

"It sounded like California," Alabama added. Suddenly, two guards dragged California to his cell, and handed him a pillow to take his anger out on. Within seconds, the pillow was nothing but fluff on the floor. The guards left after collecting all the fluff and calling for backup in case California's rage would give him the ability to tear through his cell and wreak havoc across the earth. 

"...Um... what happen-."

"I WILL BURN THAT MOTHERF*CKERS HOUSE TO THE GROUND AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT!!!!!," California screamed. Texas, Florida, and Alabama had a suspicion that maybe possibly California was a bit upset about something. Florida squeezed through the bars of his cell, and made his way inside California's cell.

"It's ok Cali, there's plenty more gay fish out there!" Florida exclaimed.

"I don't think that's how the saying goes but... you're not wrong I guess," Alabama said. California curled up in the corner of his cell, Florida sitting next to him.

"We need Ohio to come break us out," California said.

"Huh? Why?" Alabama said. California wiped the tears from his eyes, a determined look on his face.

"Because New York didn't just betray me... he betrayed this nation by rebounding with a thief... Florida, do you have a picture of Princess Diana in her revenge dress?" California asked. Florida pulled a picture of Princess Diana out of his man bun.

"I literally never leave home without it," Florida said. California studied the photo, and nodded, pointing at the necklace that Diana adorned.

"The girl New York had with him... she was wearing a necklace that had been stored in the UK's private jewelry vault for over twenty years now... our dimension's replica of the pearl and sapphire necklace worn by Princess Diana herself! And the crown that my hair had been planted on? It was stolen from the same vault!" California exclaimed.

"Wait... how'd you know what was in the vault?" Alabama asked. 

"I participated in a fashion show ran by France. Britain decided to let some of the models wear the precious jewelry- we weren't allowed to put the jewelry on ourselves because of how sacred the pieces were... I saw this necklace there!" California exclaimed. 

"Wait... so you're tellin' me that the guy who was the most adamant about locking us up could've been heavily influenced by the people framing us in the first place?!?!?" Texas exclaimed. 

"So... what will it be?" The group suddenly heard Ohio's voice echo. Everyone stared at him in confusion- and a bit of fear- but California had a newfound resolve.

"We'll agree to help you... on one condition....,"