The Chaos Crew (Statehumans)

You're Gonna Need Some Mouthwash

Texas was speeding to Florida's location, anxiously pondering all the worst-case scenarios that could probably happen to Florida and Alabama.

Meanwhile, Florida sat in a vent, staring down at Alabama through the vent grates.

"Y'know, if you think about it, this is actually your fault," Florida said. Alabama stared blankly at Florida, his arms and legs strapped onto the arms and legs of a chair.

"Elaborate," Alabama commanded. 

"Well, first off, you really shouldn't have let me accidentally set off the alarm," Florida said. 

"That was entirely your fault. We're doing a heist, and you think you can cartwheel through a hallway without tripping the alarm system?! That's bad enough, but then you abandon me the second the alarms go off?!" Alabama exclaimed.

"Well, you should have climbed into the conveniently open vent with me, duh," Florida said. Alabama groaned. 

"Now I'm gonna be tortured for information, and you know I'm going to cave immediately," Alabama said. Florida shrugged.

"Hey, maybe they'll do kinky stuff with you," Florida said.

"How does that make it better at all?!?" Alabama exclaimed. Florida thought for a second.

"Um... one hurts bad, and the other hurts good?" Florida said. 

"I can't believe this. I cannot fathom how heartless you are," Alabama said.

"I am not! I'm so heartfully heartfelt for you right now!" Florida exclaimed. 

"If you care so much about me, why aren't you using your Floridian superpowers to come in here and break me out of this chair?! Do you not have a screwdriver in your Mary Poppins a** hair?!" Alabama exclaimed. Florida sighed.

"Lemme check, hold on...," Florida said, combing through his ponytail. 

Meanwhile, Texas was sneaking his way through the building. He recognized it as New York's old mansion before he sold it off to a robotics company. Texas wondered if that robotics company was to blame for the creepy murder robot New York was dating. 

"Texas?" Texas heard a voice say. Texas chokeslammed the source of this voice without hesitation.

"OH F*CK OH MY GOD MAN!" New York exclaimed as Texas got on top of him and punched him.

"WHERE'S FLORIDA AND ALABAMA?!" Texas yelled. 

"CALM DOWN-"

"NO! Where are my boys?!?" Texas shouted. New York shoved Texas off of him and took a deep breath. 

"I'll lead you to Alabama, ok?! Just calm down!" New York exclaimed. "I wanna help you guys, ok? Those robot bastards shot Cali, and I want to make sure they never hurt him again!" New York declared. Texas glared at him.

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" Texas asked. New York glared back.

"How do you know Ohio is telling you the truth?" New York spat. Texas scoffed.

"How do you know we're working for him?" Texas shot back.

"Because I saw his paramedics pick Cali up from the beach. They had Ohio's flag on their high visibility vests," New York said. Texas sighed.

"Whatever... just lead me to Alabama," Texas said. New York smiled ominously and led Texas to the room Alabama was in. They found Florida there, too, having just busted out of the vent, trying to free Alabama from the chair he was strapped in. Texas ran up towards the pair, trying to help free Alabama. New York watched intently, and once he was sure the three were occupied...

"Attention, all security. Please make your way to the main cell," New York said in a walkie-talkie. Before the group could react, they were subdued by a group of security robots. 

"NEW YORK! You JOINED the evil robots?!?!" Florida exclaimed. New York nodded.

"I had to; they made me an offer I couldn't refuse... massive power, all the money in the world, and of course...," New York said, his voice becoming robotic. "Immortality,"

Later that night, California was in the kitchen making food for himself. He was concerned about Texas, Alabama, and Florida but figured they'd be home soon. Suddenly, he heard the door open. He looked over and gasped.

"New York?! What are you doing here?" California exclaimed. New York wasted no time. He ran to California and scooped him up into his embrace. California wasted no time either, struggling out of the embrace and kicking New York in the groin. New York staggered back, and California grabbed a gun off the countertop.

"What the hell do you want?!" California exclaimed. New York gasped, seeing that the struggle had reopened California's wound, which was now oozing blood.

"Baby, you're bleeding...," New York said softly. California tried to act like he wasn't growing lightheaded. 

"I-I'm f-fine...," California said, his grip on the gun loosening. New York approached California slowly, and California didn't have the energy to stop him. New York took a fresh dressing pad from his pocket and lifted California's shirt. California sighed, placing down the gun as New York helped cover his wound. 

"I'm always thinking ahead for you, right baby?" New York said softly as he applied the dressing pad to California's wound. California winced, not only from the pain but also from the mix of anger and bitterness from New York's betrayal.

"You abandoned me for a stupid robot... I-I... I don't trust you," California spat. New York moved his hand from the wound on California's hip to his waist and, with his other hand, directed California's head to face him. 

"I promise I'll never abandon you again... unlike your so-called 'friends,'" New York said. California had a confused look on his face.

"What? What are you talking about?" California asked. New York sighed.

"I was able to use my talents as a hacker to find out the true evil that's been there all along—your so-called 'boss' Ohio. The truth is, he's trying to use the four of you to dominate the world. The robots—directed by UN himself—are trying to stop him. You are playing right into Ohio's sick plans... He'll kill the four of you off the second you're no longer of use," New York said. California was dumbfounded, not willing to accept New York's story but also not doubting Ohio's secretly being evil. 

"But... the others don't know this, right?" California asked. New York let out a sad sigh.

"I tried to warn them... but they wouldn't believe me when I told them the truth. Ohio then showed up and convinced the three of them that you were working with me all along to turn them against him... I can't believe it myself, but they were willing to believe you were a no-good double-crosser," New York said. California paused and thought about this for a moment.

"D-do... do you know where they are now?" California asked. New York smiled proudly.

"I was able to subdue them... for now. Ohio does have plenty of people under his thumb, so who knows who may be after us...," New York said. California nodded and, with hesitation, kissed New York lightly on the lips. 

"Take me home...," California said softly, falling into New York's embrace. New York smiled.

"Of course...,"