WITHIN ME : HEALER || PJS || 박종성

[ nine ]

[ 11th April | Monday ]

"Jay.." Evelyn called making Jay turn around and look at her. "I have something to give you.. it fell from your book last saturday" Evelyn continue before she search  for the photograph in her bag making Jay confused. "what is it?" Jay asked but then froze as the girl hand him the half burnt photograph, Jay quickly take it from Evelyn making her flinch. "I thought I lost it.." he murmur but Evelyn manage to catch it. "why is it burnt? it seems.. to be precious" She asked making Jay sigh and frown, "I think that's out of your business" Jay reply making Evelyn taken back.

"listen, I'm trying to listen and comfort you but–"

"I don't need it, Evelyn. I make it through a few times, cut it out" Jay cut her words, "but that doesn't mean it's okay. you knew that" Evelyn words make Jay froze in place and silence start to fill the space. "so what? so what if i'm not okay? what do you want me to do?" Jay reply in his monotonous voice. "then tell someone, heal yourself" She reply softly.

"to who?" Jay asked again, clearly uninterested. "Hamin and Liú are always there.. don't you trust them?" Evelyn ask him back making Jay sigh, "I trust them as much as I trust myself, and I don't even trust myself that much" Jay answered and left the girl alone in the back hallway of their university.

[ 16th April ]

Days goes by, Evelyn and Jay hasn't speak since she hand him the photograph. He has also been distant with the other two guys, Liú told the older. "did you guys fought?" Evelyn asked the younger which he immediately shake his head, "there's nothing to fight about.. he's too quiet to start a fight" Liú reply. Evelyn thought that it's all her fault that the latter feel uncomfortable to be around anyone.

Evelyn and Liú part ways to go back to their dormitory. Evelyn step then slow down when she see a familiar figure walking into the nearest pharmacy, she decide to follow the guy in. Jay enter the pharmacy and quickly make his way to one of the shelf; looking like he knows what he wants and he knows it's there. Jay pick up a box of medicine and walk to the counter while evelyn pretend to look at the bundle of bandage to avoid Jay seeing her there.

Jay then walk to the counter, pay for the medicin and left. She realised that the shelf Jay was at is a corner for sleeping pills. Evelyn go to the spot Jay were at and grab the same box of medicine before quickly making her way to the counter. "Hi, can I know more about this medicine? I want to try new medication so I want to know if this is better than my sleeping gummy.." Evelyn asked the pharmacist.

Ambien.

that's what Jay bought just now.

Jay put away his bag and straightly go into the shower after the long day. To tell the truth, Jay wasn't ignoring Evelyn because he is mad at her but he just wanted to cut the ties and be distant to everyone he have knew which is why he has been ignoring Hamin and Liú. why? cause he feel like he need to. Jay walk to his bed and take the scrapbook that he place in his nightstand drawer.

He flip through the pages slowly, recalling all the memories that each pictures holds. He then stop at the page where they were having fun on his birthday by the beach. "we never get to celebrate heeseung, jake, sunghoon and riki's birthday together.." He mutter under his breath and flip the pages to the next few page and stop on the page where they went to the amusement park as an early gift to sunoo's birthday. "this is the last birthday.." He mumble weakly.

He then flip to the very last pages and see where he stick their funny id's photo that they took when they went to the amusement park. It seems all fun until you read the date he wrote under the picture. He wrote their birthdate and their last day date, he stare at his own picture that only have his birthdate written under it. He reach for a pen and wrote the other date before closing the book and put it away. He take the medication he bought just now, swallowing a single pill before laying down on his bed and get a peaceful sleep.