WITHIN ME : HEALER || PJS || 박종성

[ thirteen ]

[ a week later ]

Jay was discharged a few days ago and he continue to attend his class like usual but this time, ignoring everyone and not talking even a little bit, moreover with Evelyn. He doesn't even spare a glance at her making the older sigh and think about what can she do to help the guy out.

Evelyn recognized that Jay needed space but also gentle encouragement, so she sent him occasional messages, expressing her concern and offering her support whenever he felt ready but of course, she found out that she was blocked by the guy. The class is ending and Evelyn watch Jay is getting ready to leave the class. The guy immediately stand up after he heard that the class was dismissed and make his way out of the lectures hall which Evelyn is quick to follow but keeping the distance to avoid catching his attention.

Evelyn keep following the latter outside of their campus area until they reach a bridge over a running river. Jay finally stop and lean towards the bridge and stare at the running water beneath. Evelyn stare at his emotionless expression face from far with a mixed feelings. Jay's eyes is filled with sadness but she can see no sign of wanting to die in them.

He wants to lives, and he knows it.

But all the pressure from his unexpressed and unknown feelings making him act the other way around as he is always on the urge of losing control of his own mind. Evelyn sees hope in Jay to recover and build and live a colourful life but she needs to find a way to make Jay open his eyes and heart to accept it the way it is then make it better by making this moment a starting point of life.

Evelyn's mind stop wandering when she heard Jay's shout then run towards the end of the bridge making her confused but then she see a high schooler is slowly walking in the river, towards the centre of the lake; wanting to drown herself. Evelyn then chase Jay, rushing to help saving the girl, and call the emergency services. 

As Jay arrives near the spot, he could no longer see the sign of the girl so he throw away his bag and phone to the ground before jumping into the river to find and save the girl. Evelyn stop and feels uneasy as she lost track of both Jay and the girl from the water surface that she doesn't even realize that she stop breathing in panic.

But then Evelyn gasp as Jay comes to surface, holding the girl and bringing her to the ground. He only then realize the older presence and confuse but focus on saving the girl. Evelyn pull the girl and lay her on the ground before checking her pulse. "her pulse is weak.." Jay utter slowly as he reach his phone, "I've called for ambulance, don't worry" Evelyn reply before start to perform CPR on the girl while Jay watch. Jay released a staggered breath as he look away from the girl as he feel a sudden pressured on his head making him nausea and dizzy and lightheaded. 

his trauma was triggered

Evelyn hand a water bottle to Jay as they sit in the room, waiting for the previous girl to wake up. "why are you even following me?" Jay asked as he take the bottle from the older making her let out an inaudible sigh. "Just.. I don't doubt you, okay? I know you won't hurt yourself but I just wanted to. If it's making you uncomfortable.. then I'm sorry" Evelyn reply softly as she lean her back against the wall, standing on the opposite side of the latter as he becomes completely silent again.

"why do you save her?" Evelyn asked, breaking the silence. "should I just watch then? I've watched enough" Jay reply, mumbling the last three words but Evelyn however, manage to catch it. "so.. you should've knew why I saved you.. right?" the older utter, making the latter slowly look up to her.

"that's—"

"different?" Evelyn cut Jay's sentence before sitting beside him. "you know nothing about the girl story, you don't know what she suffers from, yet you decide to save her, Jay. I saved you because I know you deserved to live, when I barely knew about what you gone through" Evelyn continue, making the latter beside her quiet.

"Evelyn, if you are in my place.. you will feel guilty to live"