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"Let's stop now . . . "
Lucas arches an eyebrow and takes a drag of his smoke as he slowly glances towards his girlfriend, and away from the distance. It is dark and foggy outside, making it difficult to see anything clearly. The stale taste of smoke lingers on his tongue, and the air feels unusually chilly tonight. Although it usually tends to be warmer, he's naturally a very warm-blooded person.This cold doesn't affect him. Nor does Ellie, and he knows exactly what she is trying to say to him. Still, he wouldn't lie and say it didn't sting. Admittedly, maybe for the wrong reasons entirely.
Perhaps it was his pride that stung the most.
If anything, he loved her. They'd been seeing each other for three months and dated for a year while Lucas was finishing up his degree and getting his job, and she had quickly become a part of his routine. He'd dealt with her even though there had been room for improvement, but their interests matched, and that was enough. She dealt with Lucas, too. Love is what anyone would call this endurance, perhaps.
To be quite honest, this breakup has kind of been coming. He doesn't know why he wasn't the one to initiate the breakup, but perhaps that's a shortcoming on his part. He noticed Ellie had been increasingly irritable in recent weeks. They hung out less too, but he just thought it was because she needed her space after everything that had occurred recently. He was willing to let it pass, because he thought it was one of her moods. He supposes it was not. She had never wanted to break up before.
Lucas had, though. Only sometimes.
"Elowen," he finally utters her name. Nicknames seem kind of stupid now. He doesn't even realize why he lets her name leave his lips because he ends up just staring instead of continuing.
Elowen looks at him with that serious expression, the same one wears when Lucas forgets to cook dinner or tells a half-truth she somehow uncovers. It's enough to make him sober up. As it's New Year's Eve, they find themselves at a party. The clock is about to strike midnight, marking the start of a new day. Lucas can hear early sounds of fireworks in the distance. Some friend of Elowen threw the party and he's not sure if it was Caitlin or Alisha. Even though it's a special occasion, he hadn't consumed that much alcohol tonight, so he had mostly stuck to weed. Bad addiction.
"No, Lucas. I think it's time, we've been fooling ourselves enough. After the events of the past few months . . . I don't know. Things are different. I have a hard time looking at you the same way. And quite frankly, it's hard for me to see you do so well when I'm miserable."
Elowen's eyes glisten with unshed tears, her lips quivering with suppressed emotion. A pang of pity tugs at Lucas' chest as he looks at her. The year has been tough on her — on both of them. Despite this, something still unsettles him. He doesn't want to be a dickhead about it. She has her reasonings, and he couldn't exactly invalidate any of them. However the timing . . . the timing irritated him. He doesn't give a fuck about the obvious jab at the end of her speech. It isn't exactly ideal to get dumped when a bunch of people inside the apartment were screaming to music half-drunk.
