Amnietra Astroupedous!

Eight

I woke up on the Jesus sheets, Jin laying in my arms.

Ugh.

Last night wasn't...great.

I conducted an experiment on myself: am I actually asexual or am I just a lonely virgin who hates sex because I've never had it?

Judging by my reaction, I can conclude that I am in fact asexual.

I'm not gonna lie, Jin's attempts at flirting were...unusal.

But they were sweet.

I mean, he remembered my favourite game!

And his body when asleep is kinda cute.

It's soft and warm and cuddly...

...

I made my way downstairs and was suddenly faced with Jin's parents, and a bunch of random kids and teenagers.

"Ammi, you are, no?" His mother spoke up.

"H-Oh yeah, yeah, that's me..."

"You are quite pretty, no?"

"...Thank you." I nod my head slowly to show my appreciation for the compliment.

Someone's mom thinks I'm pretty!

"Are you his girlfriend?"

"Uhm..." I'm screwed.

If I say no, they'll think I'm some one-night stand who used him.

If I say yes, they'll tell Jin, and Jin will start thinking I love him.

And I really don't wanna hurt his feelings.

Maybe I should just...

"We're not sure yet. We might start off as close friends, and see how that goes."

His mother's face dropped.

"In the face of Jesus, once you have the sexual ritual, you are forever bonded by the line of love."

The what now?

"Excuse me...what's that?"

"The line of love, the red string, soulmates..."

Fucking hell, you'll never catch me marrying him.

Not in a billion years.

"You are now Jin's girlfriend!"

Oh no.

Oh god no.

What have I gotten myself into??

"Yeah Ammi, you can be our aunt!" One of the kids speak up.

"Totally! You and Jin would have really pretty babies!"

I feel sick.

I want to get out of here.

"You are a beautiful young lady, you can Jin would be a perfect couple in the eyes of the lord." His father remarks, eyeing my body.

Disgusting perv.

Oh Jesus, if you do exist, am I really doing a sin?

You made me an asexual, and I came to test it out. I wanted to know how it feels.

I didn't mean to use Jin for my own personal gain.

I feel like an idiot.

A total idiot.

Why did I even say yes to go on that date?

I should have just repeated what I originally said, instead of peer pressuring myself into going.

Look where I am now.

"Sorry, but I have to leave now." I say, holding in my breath slightly so I don't panic.

I'm desperate to go home.

If I stay in this home any longer I'm gonna have a fucking panic attack.

Please, please let me go home.

Please.

I'm begging you.

"Alright. But we need your phone number, to add you to the family group chat."

Oh great.

Thankfully I have two numbers, a personal one and one for 'the random annoying people I don't want in my life but I'm too polite to decline'.

I nod, and hand over that number, and they add me to the group chat.

"Alright Ammi, you can leave."

"Bye." I say quickly, avoiding eye contact and rushing out.

Well that was... something.

...

I reach home. I have work tomorrow, and I really don't wanna face Jin.

I feel so guilty about it.

But anyway, enough about Jin, time to watch Harute's new video, titled 'Biggie Balls goes to Roblox Walmart'.

Absolutely beautiful title.

"Ammi?" I hear my sister shout from the door.

The doorbell exists y'know.

"Yeah?" I open the door and lean on the wall, waiting for a response.

"So...you and Jin huh?"

Great.

How did she know??

"Uh- It wasn't a date, I just wanted to try it out. He gave me a live fish as a gift. And had Jesus on his bedsheets."

I need to defend myself somehow!

"Awh..." Felicity sighs, as she flops down on my couch. "I thought you finally got a boyfriend."

"Absolutely not. I refuse it."

Boyfriend's are cool. I love romance. It's great.

But when they start talking about...that...

It makes me want to shove a chair leg down their throats.

That's why it's so hard for me to get into a relationship, because they don't seem to get the point of 'asexuality'.

I don't like doing the diddle!

"God, you're so boring. You're gonna end up alone." She groans, propping her feet up on my coffee table.

"Get your feet off my table young lady."

She grumbles and crosses her legs on the couch.

"Aren't you ever gonna think about your future? You're 28 years old, unmarried, no sex life, 2 past boyfriends who were all long distance relationships, and an alcohol addiction."

...How nice of you.

As if I never knew.

"I don't want to think about my future."

"You act like a child."

"You are a child."

I sighed, and reopened the door.

"Can you knock next time you come over?" I say, pointing outside so she gets the sign.

Leave woman.

"Fine, I'll leave. Pissface." She whines at me, flipping me off.

"Arsehole." I smile and do it back.

Finally, the goddamn narcissist leaves my house.