Her Eyes

Chapter 42: SCARS

They ate dinner in silence. They weren't really sure what to say to each other. Everything was changing. There was no turning back. Alex walked into his bedroom to find Norma sitting on the bed. She was wearing his plaid shirt again. He threw his uniform in the hamper and headed towards the door.

"Alex?" He didn't turn to face her. He knew what she was seeking. He stared at door—it was his only means of escape. "Will you stay here with me?"

He could feel her eyes on him, waiting for an answer. He dropped his eyes to the floor, shaking his head lightly. "I don't think that's such a good idea."

She stared at him, allowing a silence to fill the air. He didn't want to hurt her, but he didn't want to ruin things. "Why?" There was hurt in her voice.

He brought his eyes to her. "Because, Norma."

She'd be the death of him. "Because why?" she screamed. He could never catch a break with her. She was a ticking time bomb. "What? You can't handle being in the same room as me?"

"No, actually, I can't," he shot back. She scoffed and hopped off the bed, starting to grab her things. He panicked a little. He couldn't let her leave again. "Norma. That's not what I meant."

"Oh, then what did you mean?" She dropped her stuff on the floor and moved to stand in front of him.

He sighed. This was the only way to keep her from leaving. He had to tell her the truth. "I care about you...a lot. A lot more than I care to admit." She wasn't smiling—she wasn't doing anything. She just stared at him. "Look I'll stay with you if that's what you want."

She plopped down on the end of the bed, staring at the wall in front of her. Alex wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know what was going on—what she was thinking. "Why?" He barely heard her. His eyes stared down at her. The broken look had returned. "What do you want?"

He didn't move. He never knew what was going to happen next with her. "I don't want anything."

She still wouldn't look at him. She was calm. "There has to be something. Everybody wants something. So why don't you just tell me what it is?"

"Norma, I don't want anything from you. I'm not after anything." He wished she would believe him, but he knew that wasn't possible. There wasn't anything he could do or say to make her fully trust him. He knew that.

She only grew angrier. "Then why do you care? Why do you do all these things for me? Huh? You can't just do things and then pretend that you don't want anything in return? That's not the way it works. So just tell me why you do it."

"Because I love you," he screamed. He'd finally lost it. He wished he could take it back, but he couldn't. It was out there. She knew the truth now. She didn't say anything. She was in shock; he could see it in her eyes. He sat down at the bed with a huff. He didn't look at her, though she was staring at him. "Do you want me to stay in here or not?"

She smiled at him. "I'm sorry, Alex."

"For what?" He looked over to her. He tried not to smile back.

"For everything," she admitted. The smile dropped from her face. "For lying to you, for not trusting you, for...whatever else I've done. I just—I have to protect my son. He's all I have. And now I'm not even sure I have him anymore. I'm losing him. And there's nothing I can do to stop it. I tried to fight it, but I can't deny it anymore...not when it's staring me in the face. I can't run from it. It'll always find it's way back to me—to us." Her eyes searched his. He knew what she meant.

He gave her a reassuring look. "Norma, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, or Norman. He doesn't know what he's doing, but he still committed those crimes. We're gonna get him some help. I'm gonna help you, all right?"

She nodded. She was broken, and he'd have to fix her. "I just don't know how it happened. I thought I did everything right. I tried to give him a good home—a good life. He's such a nice boy. He doesn't deserve this. It isn't fair."

He sighed a bit. "I know. I just want you to stop worrying about it. I'm gonna take care of it." He shot her a look. "And don't ask me how?"

She smiled at him. "I wasn't going to," she lied.

He smiled back at her. His eyes dropped to her exposed thigh. He studied it for a moment. "How'd you get that scar?"

Her eyes immediately fell to her leg, as she tugged at his shirt to cover it. He could sense her apprehensiveness the second he asked. "It's nothing."

He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable—not after everything. He stood up from the bed and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. She stared at him with a mix of fear and something he didn't recognize. He pointed to the scar on his chest from when he got shot. "I guess it went right through me."

She smiled, biting her lip. "I'm sorry for that too."

He rolled his eyes and moved to the head of the bed, climbing in. He knew she'd won, but he didn't mind. "Let's just go to sleep."

She got up and climbed in beside him. He closed his eyes as she turned off the lamp. He could feel her shift next to him. The scent of her filled him, easing him off to sleep. "Alex?"

"What?" he grumbled. He'd never get sleep lying next to her.

She turned onto her side to face him. "Did you mean it?"

He turned his head to look at her. "I'm not the one who lies all the time." They smiled at each other. "Goodnight, Norma."

His heart pounded in his chest as she snuggled up next to him. He tried not to think about it, closing his eyes. He felt her lips peck at his neck. "Goodnight, Alex." He was never going to get any sleep.