Her Eyes

Chapter 52: TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE

He could have held her for a million years. She was everything to him. The feeling of her warm body against his soothed him. She was his therapy. They laid in silence for a while, but Alex knew something was bothering her. He could feel the tension growing within her body. She had her head resting on his chest, her eyes staring at the wall. "So what happens now?" It was a grave thing to think about.

He didn't move. The wall was their security. "What do you mean?"

She sighed deeply out of worry. There was always something for her to worry about. Sadness stalked her. Tragedy was an open predator. Chaos surrounded her. She couldn't escape. "What are they gonna do? The DEA..."

It was something he thought about every day since he killed Bob. It hovered over him in a wild untamable cloud of shame. He couldn't run from it. There was nowhere to hide. But he still wasn't quite sure what his fate was. He didn't know where he belonged anymore. "They don't have any evidence against me. And they haven't even found a body yet. They don't really know anything."

She froze in confusion. "Then why—"

"I screwed up her case," he cut her off. Babbit would come after him no matter what—that was inevitable. "I got in the way. At least that's what she believes. She knows I had something to do with his disappearance...she just doesn't know that I killed him." Murder was not an unusual topic for them. It was sad how comfortable he was speaking about such things with her. It didn't bother him that she knew these things about him. He was glad he finally had someone to tell things to. He was whole again. He sighed, thinking about what could happen. "I could lose my job." His job was everything to him—it was who he was. It labeled him. He hated thinking about it. "But it doesn't even matter anymore with the sheriff's election coming up. I don't know if I'll be reelected...not after everything that's happened this past year."

She hugged him tighter. He enjoyed the comfort she brought him. It was a nice change from the shrouded loneliness he was used to. "Well I'll be sure to vote for you." She smiled up at him, warming the cold depths within him.

He didn't want to think about his life or his job anymore. He'd been through enough for one night. She knew just about everything now. He was glad that she knew. He never told anyone about his past. He needed someone to talk to. He didn't have any siblings...no one else knew his story. The reality of having her in his life was dawning on him. He wasn't alone anymore. He pulled her tight, kissing her forehead. He loved her more than anything.

"You told me you thought I was beautiful," she muttered proudly.

He laughed. "What are you talking about?"

She played with the buttons on his shirt, the smile never leaving her face. "When you were drunk and I brought you to the motel to sleep..."

Embarrassment washed over him. He always found a way to make a fool of himself. He was finally remembering what happened that day. He couldn't believe himself. He laughed awkwardly. "Sorry."

She laughed with him. "You don't have to be sorry."

He was surprised at how much he remembered from that night. It was a while ago, and he was a mess. He was grateful that she was so pushy. She pushed him out of his comfort zone. She tested him. He was glad he had her in his life. He was glad that he stayed for dinner that night. It was the first time he ever felt like he belonged to a family. That was something he had spent a lot of nights longing for. He owed everything to her. "Whatever happened to your brother?"

He felt her body tense. She didn't move. "He left."

She obviously didn't want to talk about it, but he pressed on. "That night we all had dinner together...nobody seemed too happy he was there." He didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable; he just wanted to know everything about her.

She peeled herself off of him and stood up from the bed. He knew what was happening. "It's getting late. We should go to bed."

She was avoiding him. He hated it when she got this way. "Norma." She knew he wasn't going to let this go. She couldn't stand when she didn't have control. He knew that. She knew there was only one way to gain that control back. He watched as she began to unzip her dress. "Norma, why are you avoiding this?" Her eyes stared into his as she let the dress fall to the floor. A pain formed inside him. He kept his eyes trained on hers. If he looked anywhere else he'd be gone. He got nervous and she came closer, bringing her lips to his. He'd never experienced this side of her. She was trying to distract him. But it wouldn't work with him. He was stronger than that. He pulled away from her. "Why don't you wanna talk about your brother?" She was crumbling inside—he could see it in her eyes. "Norma, it's okay. You can tell me...whatever it is." Tears started to well in her eyes, drowning her. She took her eyes off of him. He knew she hated being weak. He placed a hand on her shoulder. "Norma, you are the strongest woman I have ever met. You're also the most caring woman I've ever met. I can't stand to see you like this. It kills me." His tightened his grip on her, trying to keep her in the moment. "I know something happened. I just wanna what...maybe I can fix it."

She stared at him gravely. "He raped me." A pain formed inside him. He was afraid for her to continue, but she did anyway. "It was when I was thirteen and it continued until I left." The tears had stopped. It was as if she was finally accepting the truth. He felt his heart breaking for her, but he knew she didn't want to be pitied. "We went through so much together. He was all I had...and he used me just everyone else. He showed up last summer. He was looking for me. I didn't want to see him. I was so scared. He just showed up...like nothing happened. He knew I didn't want to see him. I thought he left for good, but he came back. Dylan was keeping him at his farm. He was hiding him for me, and Norman knew about it. They wanted me to talk to him. That's why I left that night you got shot...that's why I didn't answer your call." She breathed deeply, checking to make sure he was catching it all. He stared at her sadly, thinking that was the end but— "He's Dylan's dad."

His heart stopped. "Norma."

"That's the truth." She was broken. She was always broken. And he would fix her. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her. She was his everything. He'd go to the ends of the earth for this woman, because he loved her.