Her Eyes

Chapter 17: MOTH TO FLAME

Alex had gotten back from work around eleven. He pulled into the parking lot of the motel, sighing. Other than the other night, this was his first night away from home...without a home. He climbed out of his car and looked up to the house. He kept replaying the events from earlier in his head. He knew going up to the house was a bad idea, yet he couldn't ever say no to her. For such a small vulnerable woman, she held so much power over him. It frightened him. He has never felt so attached to anyone in his entire life. And he hates it. He hates that he needs this woman. He hates that she's the only reason he has to get up every morning. And he hates that he can't allow himself to let her see that—to let her know how much their little interactions mean to him.

            Towards the end of his daze, a light flickered on in the upper left side of the house. It wasn't like him to be nosy, but he couldn't take his eyes away. Suddenly Norma appeared in front of the window—it was her bedroom after all. She seemed to be looking at herself in the mirror, undoing her hair. He knew that it would only get worse from there and that he needed to be in his room. If anybody saw him, he'd be mortified, but he couldn't move. Both his feet were firmed planted in the dirt. He squinted to get a clearer view. Surely she'd close the curtains before—he stood there mouth agape, his gut twisting. She had tossed her shirt to the floor and was now undoing the zipper on her skirt. He looked around to see if anyone else was getting a look at this. He didn't want any of the other guests seeing her like that. By the time he looked back up she was gone and the light had flicked off. He rolled his eyes at himself. It wasn't like him to let himself enjoy a woman he wasn't involved with. He felt bad that he saw what he saw, she obviously didn't do it for him—she didn't know he was watching. He didn't even know why he had looked. It was almost as if something had forced him to look...like he was drawn to her. He was a moth to her flame; they were attached, and he needed to break free. He went inside his room and laid down for the night, trying to erase what he just witnessed.

In the morning, he strolled down to the motel office dressed and ready for work. He hoped that Emma or Norman would be in the office, but it was a little early. He opened the door to find Norma behind the desk scrolling on the computer.

            Her eyes met his went he closed the door. "Good morning," she smiled.

            He looked away quickly. He couldn't look her in the eye—not after what he saw last night. He moved towards the coffee without saying a word.

            "How'd you sleep last night?" she asked.

            He kept his back to her. "Fine," he mumbled. He took a sip of the hot coffee and shuffled out the door awkwardly.

            "Well bye," she shouted after him.

            He nearly ran to his SUV—it was the only place he felt safe anymore.

It was another long day at work, which meant he didn't return to the motel around eleven. As he pulled into the lot he noticed her bedroom light was on again. He warned himself not to look, but as soon as he stepped out of the car his eyes traveled up the sides of the house to her window. He came a little late this time. She had already taken off a majority of her clothes and now she stood there in only her underwear. His face flushed, he knew somehow he was violating her privacy. But somehow he felt that if she was going to stand in front of the window it was okay for him to look. He hated himself sometimes. He turned and walked to his room without looking back.

The next night the news about Lee Berman was leaked, which only made Alex's job at the station more stressful. They were going to look into the accident, even though he knew there was no point. There was no traceable evidence to say it was premeditated murder. He drove back to the motel carrying a load of stress with him. He got out of the SUV and looked up at the house. He sighed because of the stress of his job and the fact that gawking at this woman was now becoming at a habit.

            "What's the matter?" a voice broke through the silent breeze.

            His eyes flew to her. He watched as she approached him. He didn't know what to say to her. He thought about telling her about her window, but he didn't want her to think differently of him—or even worse feel uncomfortable around him. His thoughts traveled back to Lee Berman and his 'accident'. "You didn't hear the news?"

            "No. What news?" she asked innocently.

            He stared at her a while. She really wasn't making friends if she hadn't heard the latest gossip by now. "Lee Berman, city council, was in a car accident tonight. His car crashed on Southern Vista road. It went all the way into the ravine." Her eyes widened at his words. "Dead." He gave her one last glance before turning to his room. Tonight wasn't a good time to tell her—he wasn't sure any time was a good time to tell her.