Second Chance

174

For the longest time Changbin didn't move and it was driving me crazy! I made my point and I expected him to abide by my wishes but he wasn't. I watched as he looked down at his hands and I had to admit it did break my heart to have to speak to him the way I did but I was done being treated like my feelings didn't matter. "Did you not hear me, I said to please go."

"I heard you, I was just wishing I didn't." he said. "I know I let a lot of time pass since I got back but it wasn't because I didn't want to make things right it was I didn't know what to say when I saw you." He then looked up at me, "I didn't mean to hurt you, that was the last thing I wanted to do I just wanted you to see that we would be ok no matter what we did but it took you leaving to show me I was wrong."

"Binnie, since I have been here in Korea I am turned into someone that I don't like. When I was in LA I could careless who liked me cause as long as my world was going good I didn't care if anyone else's was. Katie was all that I made sure was ok in the world and well you see how that turned out. Ever since I was little all the people that I picked to love found a way to make me regret it, then I come here and it is happening all over again so from here on out I am done."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? If people see me as some kind of game they can play then toss aside then why can't I do the same thing cause no one is better than me." I said. "for now just go before some thing really bad gets said that can't be taken back, I just can't be your best friend right now." Man those words hit hard!

"You will always be my best friend." he said getting to his feet. "I will do what you asked but I am not giving up because I don't want to lose you. Please promise me that you will call me when you are ready for me to come back into your life." I shocked him by not responding right away. "oh come on please promise me!"

"I won't promise but I will say I will try, that is all I can give you, take it or leave it ." My cold tone was brutal.

"I will take it." he said in one of the most defeated tones I had ever heard. "I will see myself out." I knew he was expecting me to stop him, to walk him to the door but I didn't budge and soon he was gone that was when I broke. Namjoon, saw when Changbin left, he knew he said he would wait for a call but he knew that he would never hear it so he just headed over tapping on the door.

"Jace, it's me, open the door please." he said and soon it was open that was when he saw all of the tears.

"I was so mean to him, I have never talked to him like that before!" Namjoon took a step forward easing me into a hug. "he looked so broken!"

"Don't do this cause at least he knows what it feels like to be you." Namjoon said. "all those nights you felt broken, crying by yourself wondering what you did wrong, he is getting a taste of it."

"I guess you are right but it still hurts." I said as we walked into my place where Namjoon shut the door, I went back to the couch sitting down. "all the words I was saying sounded like the Jaycee I left back in California and it scared me." Namjoon came to sit next to me.

"Why is that?"

"Cause no wonder I was so alone cause I made sure no one had the chance to hurt me but then coming here and being all nice didn't get me very far either." Namjoon reached over to take my hand in his holding on to it. "all that I said I should have been talking to Lee Know too."

"I know it hurts but it took something like this for him to see what he has been doing to you, that he was taking your love for him for granted and that isn't right, I am proud of you  for sticking up for yourself."

"Sorry if I don't feel very proud, he is my whole world Namjoon, what will I do without him?" I said starting up again.

"Give what you said time to sink in with him, I can guarantee he will see things your way and all will be good." Namjoon reached out to wipe a tear that was falling down my cheek. "tell me what I can do to make you feel better?"

"There is nothing that can make me feel better so if you want to go back home I will understand."

"Um, I think I will stay. How about we head to the gym we can find you a punching bag to hit to your feel better, what do you say?"

"I don't know I really just want to find myself a blanket and cry with the lights out."

"Then let me be your blanket." he said causing me to look at him. "I am not going to let you be alone to where you are going to feel guilty for what just happened. I will stay here and just be close. If you need me too I will go get the rest of the wine to help you forget at least for a little while, anything you want but I am not leaving." That was when I moved in closer leaning into him, he placed his arm around me laying back on the couch hearing me cry, he knew this was where he needed to be.