How I Learned to Love Myself{DISCONTINUED}

"WHO WANTS TO GO TO DERBYSHIRE DALES?!"

It's been the same routine for a month now. Wake up, get the boys up, listen to them complain, make sure they are in top shape, push them to the venue, take care of whoever got injured during the show, get back to the bus, joke around for a bit, then sleep. Then do all again the next day. But today, we had a day off... in my favorite place!

Buxton, Derbyshire, England! Only 15 minutes away from Derbyshire Dales National Nature Reserve. Saying that I was excited was an understatement. I had gotten dressed early(SEE EXTERNAL LINK), and gotten the boys up even earlier.

"WHO WANTS TO GO TO DERBYSHIRE DALES?!" Is how I got them up. Tony said that he would go with, but everyone else wanted to stay on the bus or in town. In the past month I had gotten closer with Vic and Mike. I also haven't had a break down, like that first night on the bus, in over three weeks. There were most definitely awkward moments in between.

**FLASHBACK PRIVILEGES!!!**

I walked into the back lounge, where a girl was on top of Tony.

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry sorry, sorry, sorry!" I say backing up and closing the door. 

"What happened?" Jaime asks me.

"No one told me that some of you like to bring girls back there!" He only laughs.

"What can you expect? Tour life can get lonely!" He says putting his hands up in defense. I scoff, and walk back to the front lounge, to avoid the moans. 

Jaime is grabbing his coat 5 minutes later. "Let's go. I can't stand this noises!"

"I strongly agree!" Chasing Jaime out the door.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

So, now Tony and I were in the back of a cab car, heading to the Nature Reserve. It was a thirty minute drive, as it was early morning, and people were headed to work. I felt my hair lift, and turned in my seat to find Tony playing with it. I didn't straighten it today, and and the dye was fading away quickly now. He noticed I was watching, and stopped. I had forgotten how much I loved those chocolate eyes- Wait... did I say "Loved?" 

I guess I did...

Oh well. We stopped at the gate. I got out, and paid the cabbie. 

We got into the Reserve with little hiccups. Tony and I kept pointing things out to each other every five minutes or so.

"I enjoy this." He says.

"What?" I ask.

"I enjoy doing things with you. Being around you. And I missed you for the longest time. Even though you left, you clearly still remembered me, and most likely never forgot me, seeing you kept the necklace for the next 11 years." He says.

"Well, I always hoped that I'd be able to talk with you again. I got that wish done now, so I'm very content. But Tony?" I lead.

"Yeah?" He asks.

"I really don't know how to say it, but um... remember when you had that girl with you in the back lounge?" I ask, trying to ease this conversation. He nods, growing more, and more confused. "Is it bad that I got jealous? That I felt something? I guess I'm trying to say-" but I'm cut off by a ring tone. I pull out my phone, and it's Jaime. He was the only one I told about how I felt around Tony. I press answer.

"What do you want, Jaime?" I ask.

"Did you tell him yet?" He asks.

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Cuz someone just interrupted the moment I was telling."

"Oh, my God! I'm so sorry! I didn't know!"