I woke up to sunlight. I reached for Tony, but realized he wasn't there. Great. I got up, and went to the bathroom in the usual. I took in the surroundings.
A lot of stuff wasn't put away last night, and... Great. We had the party. I got dressed into some day wear,(SEL) and opened my laptop in the back lounge. I heard the bus open, and then close. Probably the guys. I was too engrossed by American McGee's Alice. The first game of course. Tony walks in.
"What are you doing today?" He asks. I pause my game.
"Killing the Queen's Guard." Then it set in. "No- wait, not that queen. The Queen of Hearts. Alice. American McGee's Alice. So that is what I am doing today." I clarified. "What are you doing?"
"Well, I guess nothing since my girlfriend is trying to get herself thrown in jail." He says.
"Ha ha. Very funny." I unpause the game, and continue. After dying multiple times, I give up.
"SCREW THIS! It's on hard mode anyway!" I say, while closing my laptop. As I stand up, I look over to see Tony eyeing me.
"Oi! Mr. Dreamer, see something you like?" I tease him.
"You look good in skinny jeans."
"Oh shut up, Mr. Dreamer." I say, leaving the lounge, and going to the kitchen. Mike starts chuckling as he finds me making a sandwich.
"That's right. Make my samich, bitch!" He says, while laughing. Turn around.
"You can make your own damn sandwich, dickhead!" I say, tearing into my ham and cheese. I walk back into the back lounge, and curl up next to Tony. He wraps his arm around me, and watches me eat. Not paying attention to Star Wars, which always holds his attention.
"Yes, Mr. Dreamer?" I prompt.
"You're cute."
"Glad to know I'm more entertaining than Episode 3." He scoffs and puts his attention back onto the screen.
I start to get up, but Tony pulls me back down. I go with it, and just put the plate to the side. I snuggle myself deeper into his chest. For some reason, I found myself playing with Tony's braid, and humming a song I heard the other day.
"Yeah, I wish I'd been a, wish I'd been a teen, teen idle
Wish I'd been a prom queen fighting for the title
Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible
Feelin super, super (super!) suicidal
The wasted years, the wasted youth
The pretty lies, the ugly truth
And the day has come where I have died
Only to find I've come alive"
"Why are you singing such a sad song?" Tone asks. I only shrug.
"It just got stuck. I'm going to go get ready." I say, getting up, and kissing Tony on the cheek. Instead, he moves his head, to where I kissed his lips instead. "Alright then." I say, leaving the room.
I honestly wonder how I went from orphan to loved. Now I just have to love myself. Not like. I have to trust myself now. Then I'll be fine. Then I'll be happy. Then Tony will be happy. Then the band will be happy. Then everyone else will be happy.
YOU ARE READING
How I Learned to Love Myself{DISCONTINUED}
Teen FictionIt was always about Mike. Never about myself, but his face when he found me on the floor. The tears in his eyes. All the blood he saw. The pills and blood pooling around me. He started screaming for mom and dad. They rushed in horrified at my state...
