"you say it's because of my age, girl, but age ain't nothing but a number"
*
a story of which a mother of two finds herself entangled with her son's best friend, jungkook.
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CW: graphic sexual scenes
As the summer rain began to fall, ushering in the approach of autumn, a sense of unease settled in the pit of my stomach. The changing weather hinted at the idea that life would soon return to normal, but deep down, I couldn't shake the feeling that things would never be quite the same.
Despite the hopeful symbolism of the rain, I knew that some things were beyond the influence of the seasons.
Robert's presence continued to cast a shadow over my life, a constant reminder that normalcy was nothing more than a distant dream.
I didn't really know what to do after he upped and left with my children. The kids got their things packed in under an hour and Trey offered to drive the extremely long journey. And then they left.
I knew Robert would never dare to hurt them. Not now. Not when tensions were so high.
But I couldn't help but feel anxious and apprehensive as I thought about them. Would he be able to cook them breakfast everyday? Would Destiny be warm in her bed? What if she got her period? She got really bad cramps and would be bed ridden for the four days of her menstrual cycle. Who would help her then? Or what if Trey wanted to do something stupid? Who would warn him to not do it?
It was only seven days but I couldn't help but imagine the worst.
Maybe they were right.
I babied them too much and this pushed them away instead of bringing them close.
But it was hard not to.
I've been a mother since I was sixteen, that's all I really knew how to do.
Trying to distract myself, I threw myself into cleaning, throwing Robert's gasoline smothered and slightly burnt clothes into a bag, throwing away Destiny's contraband and just deep cleaning the whole house. I even struggled to clean; The weight of financial worry pressed down on me, the daunting task of scraping together ten thousand dollars in just a week gnawing at my thoughts.
It had only been a couple of hours since they left, but the house felt too quiet, the absence of their laughter and chatter leaving an ache in my chest that I couldn't shake.
Though I resented Robert so deeply, I knew I also had a part to play in all of this. This was partially my fault. I should have never let it get this far.
I just wanted to cry, punch a hole in the wall— I wanted to do something to express emotion, but I felt so numb. I wanted to preoccupy time but I just couldn't get myself to do anything.
So I left the house and I found myself here.
As I stood outside, contemplating on what to do, only in a robe and some flip flops, I deeply sighed, my thoughts racing.
