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Some of these events are based off of my life.
Writing from the reader's POV
Dear Diary,
Since the last time you heard from me, a lot has transpired. I started a new job, met a new guy, and am financially doing great... so far. I even became friends with my next-door neighbor. The job was great at first. I love working with kids, but my coworkers make it hard, and they're super difficult to work with. Granted, I could quit, but I've grown too attached to the kids, and I love being with them. Now, I also met my boyfriend through my job. He is a high school teacher, and everything was going great, at least I thought, when I caught him cheating with his ex. All of this combined has put me back into a place that I was trying not to go back to. The breakup was the root of it all, though. It brought me back into a depressive state.
I can't eat, I haven't showered in days, my apartment is a mess, and I've been calling off from work cause every time I see him I want to fucking knock his head off his fucking shoulders. Every day I wonder why I wasn't good enough, what I did to make him cheat on me. I made my way to the restroom and looked at my puffy, red eyes in the mirror. I saw my scars that had previously healed and somewhat admired them. I was 2 months clean from cutting, I felt the urge. Afterwards, I opened the drawer and looked at the razor blades, which then burst into tears.
Once I opened your eyes, there he was. He wrapped his arms around me, making me feel safe but also causing me to cry harder. "See that's what we not gon do." He said as he closed the drawer. "You stayed strong this time. I'm proud of you. You know what that is? Growth." He added. This makes me smile. Me and Kirsnick walked into the bedroom, and he then sat beside me. "Thank you for showing up. You don't know how much I needed you right now." I confessed to him. "I did know. That's why I'm here. I really showed up to tell you not to let a man take control of your life. Didn't I tell you not to go out sad about no bitch?" He questioned. The two of us shared a laugh. "Yeah, I know. But can I mourn this one just a lil bit?" I asked jokingly. "Nope, we got shit to do." He said, grabbing your hand and leading me to the kitchen, it was a mess. "Damn, I ain't realize it was this bad," I stated. The two of us began cleaning up the kitchen and washing the dishes until it was spotless. Then made it to the living room, picked up the trash, and organized everything.
After about 2 hours, I was exhausted and finally flopped on the couch. "Yeah, I ain't letting it get that bad no more." I expressed. "Yeah, I get it. Sometimes, even you in it, you don't even realize you in it. I been there before. Back in 2020, I went through a DEEP depression, I was drinking and smoking heavily, and I gained a lil weight." He revealed. "Oh damn, I'm sorry to hear that." You responded. "Yeah, once I realized I was self-destructing, I cut back on drinking and drugs. I was really trying to better myself until this happened. But my soul feels so free. I ain't got no regrets." He finished. "It's good you wanted better for yourself. I honestly wish that we had met before... You know." I told him.
"Yeah, we for sho would've gotten along." He replied and then laughed. "I see you and my brother been building a relationship. That's good. I know he was looking at you crazy when you told him how you knew me." He stated. "Yeah, but he understood cause you come to him too... and your mom, and your sister, and your grandma. Not gonna lie, when I found out you were an angel, I thought I was delusional. " I said. The two of us talked and shared experiences; this was a conversation I needed. Just to have someone listen to me and understand what I'm going through. He looked at the scars on my legs and arms and said, "You gotta stop ruining your body. You're beautiful, amazing, smart, and funny. You think that nigga crying about you? Nope. And the job, quit. You'll find something better." He advised me.
"Thank you." You responded. Suddenly, you felt a lot better and up in spirits. We then hugged, and he kissed me on the forehead. "See you later." He said. As he walked through the door, a jewelry box was left behind. I picked it up and opened it, I was a necklace that had the Gemini symbol that had a butterfly on one side and an angel halo on the other. Representing both of us.
