The Swords We Yield - ◈ ARMIN ARLERT X OC ◈

Chapter 18 - Falling in and out

The fatigue of being awake for the last 48 hours is growing harder and harder to ignore. Spending the last 6 hours tending to wounds, I haven't had a moment to think about how exhausted I truly am. The fast movement from riding Atlas jolts me awake over and over again, however my eyes continue to flutter shut.

"Hey look up ahead!" Gen exclaims, making me shoot up beside her. A small forest comes into view as we urgently speed through the acres of abandoned land. I study the trees that grow tall, towering over the surrounding flora.

The sudden blast of a smoke signal catches our attention as we look over to the stream of green smoke filling the air. A weight lifts off my shoulders, luckily we have yet to run into any titans, however the lack of them this deep into titan lands tells me something big is coming.

"You guys see that?" Jean hums, appearing beside us.

"It's pretty hard not to." Gen laughs looking over at him. He stares ahead fixated on something in front of us, sitting unnaturally still.

"What are you thinking about Jean?" I ponder tilting my head. Snapping his head at me he quietly replies, "I don't know, something is off. We haven't run into a single titan," He eyes go wide before looking back ahead to the forest, "I don't buy it." He breathes.

I agree with everything he says, Erwin can't possibly think this is not suspicious. Perhaps Reiner has the same ability as Annie? What if he has the ability to control them, and use them against us? Ambush us even?

"Zariya!" Jean calls, pulling me from my own thoughts. "Damn, only took me these times! What the hell are you thinking about!" He exclaims playfully. My breath is uneven as I am overwhelmed with the thought of Reiner using his powers against us more than he already has.

"What if Reiner has the same powers as Annie?" I choke out, "What if he has the ability to call on titan like she does and uses them against us! What if they expected us to come and we are going to be ambushed at any moment! What if-"

"Woah! Zaryia you need to calm down, I'm sure Commander Smith has thought of the threats we could be up against! This is Erwin we are talking about." Jean chimes, beside me.

"I know, but what if he hasn't! What if he is leading us blindly!" I cry, while still hyperventilating.

"Heads up you three! We have company!" Jacob yells speeding past us all. I snap my head to the front of the group where I am met by the sight I was dreading. A large group of titans burst through the trees, coming toppling towards us.

"I told you!" I exclaim, the fear seeping through my voice.

"Shit!" Jean mutters under his breath, mesmerised by the sight in front of us. We follow the scouts in front of us, speeding forward towards the titans ahead. Suddenly a bright flash crackles through the sky down into the forest, sending a shiver through my body.

"Someone has transformed!" Gen exclaims, pointing to the front of the ground. The sensation of glass shattering pierces through my mind and a high pitch ringing fills my heart, my surroundings begin to go out of focus as I push Atlas to go faster. My breathing triples in volume as I stare down at my hands, almost as if from an external yet internal point of view. I can feel my heart thumping in the tips of my hands as I hold the reins tighter, my temples scream in agony but I continue to ignore the pain.

"Everyone split up! Find Eren and take him back!" Erwin yells ahead of us, forcing me to look up from Atlas' main. Scouts begin rippling apart into smaller groups toward the titans. I follow Gen and Jean as they steer to the left, guiding us to a group of shorter titans. Suddenly Armin, Mikasa, Rosette, Jacob and the others appear beside us falling in step with our horses. I try to stay alert but I have to focus all my energy on keeping my eyes focused and my headache at bay, why do I have to be so god damn weak? The voice in my head screams to me.

"Phil! Keep the horses together!" An older man yells from the front of the group snapping his head back at someone behind him. I catch a glance of his blonde hair, scruffy beard, my thoughts go out of focus again as I am overwhelmed with flashes of memories from that day, one including that same blonde hair and scruffy beard. That was the man who pulled me up from the ground 5 years ago after mother and father abandoned us! I am stabbed in the side with a familiar pain as everything becomes too much. The memories, the titans, the fatigue, the excruciating headache that is becoming harder to ignore.

"The enemy should be heading out of the forest!" He calls again, engaging his ODM gear, "Scatter!" He instructs. Everyone follows his lead, dismounting their horses as we enter the forest and activating their gear. I do the same quickly standing up on Atlas, my balance completely off as I pick up my clutches and shoot my anchors into the nearest tree. My head continues to throb as my mind spins making it impossible for me to focus on my surroundings. Only when I feel my body slam into the solid side of a tree am I aware of where I am. Come on Zariya, snap out of this! You're completely useless if you can't fight! Stop being so goddamn useless! The voice calls to me again.

"I'M TRYING!" I hear myself scream and only then does everything go back into focus. Suddenly Jean appears by my side, "I swear I'm trying to stop! I don't know what is going on or why it's happening but it won't go away!" I cry, my hands shaking as I try to explain myself.

"Woah, Zariya it's ok!" He exclaims, locking his ODM gear into the tree.

"No Jean, It's not ok! I told myself I needed to stop being useless and look at me now!" I breathe looking behind us to our comrades. "Eren and Ymir's lives are on the line right now and here I am having a panic attack like the selfish bitch I am!" I yell turning away from him, slamming my fist into the tree.

"Hey, hey. Look at me" Jean exclaims, grabbing my shoulders and turning me around to face him. "You are not useless and you are not a selfish bitch! You're just a bit shaken, that's all, you're going to be ok but we have to keep moving." He tries to console me in a friendly tone.

"I know, I know." I whimper, noticing the stream of tears on the sides of my face. I taste the now familiar salty water as I wipe the tears away letting out a low scoff. " When did I become such an emotional wreck!" I laugh, letting out a shaky breath.

Jean laughs before responding, "I don't know but you better get your act together before you become more of a cry baby than Historia." He teases, "Now let's get moving."

I nod my head before looking back down at my ODM gear, now seeing it 10 times more clearer than before. Without another word Jean takes off towards the others and I follow close behind.

"Say something, ugly! We're in a hurry!" We hear Connie scream, while kicking Ymir's titan on the head. Jean jolts his head to the tree Armin is mounted to, I follow his lead as we land on the tree above him.

"Are you keeping an eye out for Reiner and Bertholdt?" He asks, however Ymir completely ignores him and looks around at all of us. I follow her gaze as she looks from us to Gen and Jacob and then to Rosette as she comes speeding towards us through the trees.

"Why are you looking around at each of us?" Armin calls again. That's when it clicks, Rosette is here which means Historia mustn't be far off. What if she has come here to take her?

"Ymir! You're safe!" Historia exclaims, appearing from behind the trees. I notice Ymir shift in her spot, catching my attention. Oh no, she is here for Historia isn't she?

"Thank goodness..." Historia begins.

"WAIT HISTORIA, NO!" I yell, however Ymir acts before she can respond. In the blink of an eye Historia disappeared into Ymir's month and she launched herself further into the forest. We all freeze, unable to comprehend what has just happened.

Ymir ate Historia.

And now they are both gone, for good.