Chapter 6 - Uncertainties

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As we travel further away from the security of Stohess district, the uneasy feeling in my stomach continues to eat away at me. The only sound that fills their air is that of horse shoes and the uneven rolling of the carriage behind me. Every so often I look back to watching Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Hange and Pastor Nick, engaging in deep discussion about who knows what. I am too far away to make out what they are saying, generally my hearing has always been especially good, but with the background noise and everything on my mind it's hard to focus on one thing.

"Hey are you ok?" I hear Jacob call from behind me, I close my eyes, clearing my head before replying, "Yeah, I'm fine." I reply with a small smile. Raising his eyebrows he looks at me as if he doesn't believe what I am saying.

"Sure you are, what's up?" He urges jolting his chin towards me.

"Nothing, I'm fine!" I laugh back, however as if it was timed the familiar sensation of throbbing settles in my temples. I wince at the familiar pain but try not to display my discomfort to Jacob.

"Zar?" He calls again but it sounds like a distant echo, I hear my heart beat thumping in my ears making me feel lightheaded.

"Zariya!" Jacob yells again this time louder and clearer than before. I tear my eyes open looking at him only inches away from my face. I quickly jolt backwards, leaning away from him on and back onto Atlas. I almost lose balance and slid off Atlas completely, but Jacob quickly grabs my forearm, yanking me back up.

"Zar, your hands!" Jacob exclaims, staring at them with wide concerned eyes, I look down to see them shaking uncontrollably. No, no, no, shit! Not like this, not now! The voice in my head screams at me as I quickly cover my right hand with my left trying to force them to stop.

I close my eyes for a brief second slowing my breathing as I do so, relax Zariya, its ok, your ok. I whisper to myself inside my mind. Letting out a shaky breath, I look down to my hands to see they have stopped their aggressive shaking. Relief rushes over me as I feel the sinking sensation of terror disappear from my stomach.

"Zariya!" Jacob yells again. I snap my eyes at him looking at him with a neutral expression.

"Yeah?" I say casually hoping he will just ignore my little episode.

"What the hell was that!" He screeches, wide eyed and scared. I sigh, trying to think of a good explanation that won't cause him to question me further.

"You guys, scared out of your mind right now?" Gen exclaims coming up beside me, thank god this should keep Jacob distracted. He opens his mouth staring at me but I quickly turn away to face Gen, "Ah, you bet!" I squeal in an uneasy tone.

"Thanks for waiting by the way, you two just took off without me!" Gen states, lightly nudging my shoulder, she looks past me to Jacob who stares blankly straight ahead to the darkness in front of us.

"Are you ok Jacob?" She mumbles in a concerned tone. Jacob continues to look ahead, pale as a ghost, "Yeah," He swallows, "Yeah I'm fine. I just have to talk to.." He trails off looking around us "Jean, I'll be back!" He calls, taking off to Jean at the front of the crowd.

"Well that was...odd." Gen mutters following him with her eyes. "What's more odd is that he left us to talk to Jean." I emphasise, gesturing to Jean, Jacob's frenemy. "True!" Gen exclaims with furrowed eyebrows. We both watch him in silence trying to understand his reasoning behind his weird behaviour.

"So." Gen sighs, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"So?" I ponder looking over at her.

"What's new?" She asks casually, making me laugh. "What's new?" I laugh. Gen nods her head in response, eager to hear what I have to say.

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