A mother's love

Chapter 3

Brenda needed a copy of Macbeth for one of her classes and went after school to the school library to procure one. Ordinarily she checked books out of the community library but she didn't feel like driving there and so opted for the convenience of the school library. She entered the library and headed for the classics section which was located at the very rear of the room. On her way there she walked past an aisle in which a boy was sitting on the floor and reading. Struck by a sense of familiarity she took a second, closer look at him by peering around one of the bookshelves and saw that the boy was Brian. Looking at him sitting and reading all alone on the floor in the most secluded part of the library, Brenda wanted nothing more than to go to him and rescue him from his loneliness. Aside from the librarian Ms Stephens who was sitting behind her desk at the entrance the library was completely empty. She was alone with him as she had always wanted to be. Having waited so long for this opportunity Brenda was overwhelmed by it and had to duck into an adjacent aisle to calm herself before she approached him. Brian didn't notice her approaching him, he was engrossed in the book he was reading and only became aware of her presence when she said his name.

"Brian."

"Ms Sylvaine, hi," he looked up from his book and responded nervously.

"What are you doing here?"

"Reading," he answered bashfully.

"What are you reading?"

He lifted up his book and showed her the cover. He was reading Gulliver's Travels.

"I never made it all the way through that; the in depth descriptions always defeated me."

"I feel that way too sometimes, but I'm powering through."

"There's an old Gulliver's Travels mini-series with Ted Danson that's really good, if you ever get tired of 'powering through' that."

"Thanks but I think I'm going to keep going; besides, if that series is old I probably wouldn't have much luck finding it."

"I could get it for you; everything that I watch is downloaded so it wouldn't be any trouble for me at all."

"I'm actually doing okay with the book, thanks for offering though."

"You could still watch it after you've read the book, in case you missed anything."

"I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"I just told you it's no trouble at all; let me do this for you, please."

"I don't think I'm missing anything in the book, so there's no need for you to go out of your way for me."

Brenda was disappointed that Brian had not accepted her offer; she felt as if she had taken a step towards him and he had taken a step away from her.

"Do you always read here in the library like this?"

"Yeah."

"Before school and after school?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"Because it's quiet."

"Are you saying that you can't read at home because it's not quiet?"

"I just prefer it here."

"There's going to be a parents meeting next week to discuss some changes to the curriculum that the school board is going to be implementing; any chance I'm going to see your mother there?"

"Probably not."

"You know, in the two years that I've been here your mother is the only parent that I'm yet to meet; why is that?"

"It's not easy for her to make the time; she's very busy, she works two jobs," Brian answered as convincingly as he could manage.

"I'd be happy to arrange a meeting at a time that would be convenient for her; I could even come to your house."

"No! There's no need for you to do any of that; besides, why do you want to meet her anyway? I'm doing fine, there's nothing that you need to talk with her about."

"I'm not only interested in speaking with the parents of problematic children; I like speaking with the parents of promising children to find out what they want to do with their futures and how I might be of help to them."

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet."

"You should be thinking that far ahead; you are planning on going to college, aren't you?"

"Uhm, yeah," Brian answered uncomfortably. He hadn't spent any time thinking of college, thinking his financial situation precluded it as a possibility for him.

"Well then you need to start getting ready now, things are really competitive and if you don't start laying the groundwork early all the good spots are going to get taken."

"I'll keep that in mind," Brian answered, growing increasingly uncomfortable.

"If you need help you can come and talk to me and I'll give you all the help you need."

"I'll do that."

"You want me to leave you to get back to your book, don't you?" Brenda asked as a way to end their conversation. She had asked too much, his discomfort was palpable.

Brian responded to her question with an awkward smile. He didn't want to answer yes and risk a rift between them but he did want their conversation to come to an end; Brenda was talking about things that Brian didn't wish to speak of with anyone. Recognizing that her question had essentially been a good-bye he remained silent and waited for her to leave.

"Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow in class," Brenda said, and walked away.

Brenda left the library without the copy of Macbeth that she had gone there for. Her conversation with him in the library had left her flustered and imbued with a sense of urgency unlike anything she had felt before. After exiting the library she walked straight to the administration office where she asked the school secretary, Mrs Davis, if she could have a look at Brian's student file. She scribbled down Brian's address on a scrap of paper and returned his file to Mrs Davis who returned it to the filing cabinet from which she had taken it. With Brian's address in her possession Brenda walked briskly out of the school building to her car, where she sat looking at the scrap of paper in her hand. At last she was taking action. Sitting in the car her breathing was heavy, her mind was racing and the hand in which she held the scrap of paper with his address on it was shaking; the reservations that she'd had about getting involved in Brian's life were resurfacing and threatening to put a stop to her progress, until in her rear-view mirror she saw Brian leaving the school building and walking off along the sidewalk. She looked around and saw no other students anywhere, then looked down at his address and understood immediately that he came to school early and stayed longer in the afternoon to prevent where he lived from being discovered. Her reservations all dissipated, and her thoughts turned to what her next step was going to be.