A mother's love

Chapter 23

Her faith in Brian's mother being non-existent, Brenda decided after much deliberation that the best way forward for her in the new circumstances she was facing was to bide her time and wait for Brian's mother to fail him like she knew she would. This meant leaving him vulnerable to the danger she believed he was in with his mother, but if getting hurt by her was the only way for a rupture to occur between them then Brenda was prepared to wait for that to happen.

Ittortured Brenda to listen to Brian speak with such hope about his mother and torespond positively to what he said when she knew what the inevitable outcomewas going to be. She did her best when they were together to make sure he knewthat he would always have a place with her where he would be safe and loved,hoping that this would soften the blow when his mother disappointed him andleave with no doubt as to where he belonged. All she had to do was wait, andcontinue to deceive and manipulate him, all of which made her feel sick, enoughto deprive her of the full pleasure of their intimacy. His naivety regardinghis mother, juxtaposed against her cynicism, brought up in Brenda's mind againand again the question that Brian had asked her about the uniqueness of theirrelationship. She was manipulating him in a way that only a much older, muchwiser person could, exploiting his youth and inexperience in furtherance of herown designs. She had come to recognize the situation between Brian and hismother as an opportunity and was using it to lure him into a trap and ensnarehim, behaving every bit like the cunning predator she'd spent all their timetogether convincing herself she wasn't. She was capable of formulating anynumber of such schemes of which Brian would be oblivious and against which hewould be defenceless. When having such thoughts self-delusion was impossible. Brianwas no match for her. His book-learned knowledge and his hastily acquiredmaturity couldn't stand up against her forty-seven years of life, the trialsand tribulations of which had armed her with sharper instincts and a greaterwillingness to act out of pure self-interest with no regard for the moralshortcomings of her actions.