A mother's love

Chapter 34

Brian was left wondering after their first night of real lovemaking in the new house if Brenda was saying to him that she wanted their relationship to return to the way it had been before they'd run away, which would mean that at some point in the near future, as painful as it would be for the both of them, he would have to break things off with Michaela. It came as a shock to him then when he saw Michaela the next day and she told him that Brenda had given them her blessing. Hearing these words from Michaela, Brian's confusion about what Brenda wanted was greater than it had ever been. He couldn't be with Michaela after hearing what Brenda had said to her; under the pretext of having a science project that he needed to work on he left her and went home where he could be alone and think. Brenda's reasons for doing what she'd done were a mystery to him. He had done nothing to indicate to her that he longed for anything other than friendship with Michaela. There were only two possible explanations for Brenda saying what she'd said: Michaela had told her about them and Brenda had responded with an answer that she thought wouldn't invite any suspicion upon them by Michaela, or Brenda was also having an affair and was using the freedom that she was granting he and Michaela to be together as a way of freeing herself to further explore her affair.

It was because of his own indiscretion that Brian doubted Brenda, because no matter what his reasons were the simple fact was that he was cheating on Brenda right under her nose, and no amount of good that he did for Michaela could justify his infidelity. Complicating matters further was the fact that Brian and Brenda were inextricably bound to each other by Brian's dependence on her which necessitated the indefinite continuation of the ruse of them being mother and son. Regardless of the nature of the challenges they faced they were compelled to resolve them in a way that made it possible for them to remain in each other's presence. Brian confronted Brenda when she arrived home from work with exactly that thought in mind.

"Michaela told me that when you two were together yesterday you gave us your blessing; what did you mean by that?"

"We were talking about how much time you two spend together and she told me that she likes you and she cares about you so I told her that if she wants to be with you she has my blessing."

"Why would you say something like that?"

"Because she told me that you told her that you don't want to date anybody because you're afraid that I'm going to feel like you're leaving me behind; I had to say something to her to make it so that she didn't think I had some weird hold on you and telling her that I was okay with you two dating was all I could think of."

"She said that you said that she mustn't worry about anything that I said about it not being a good idea for us to start seeing each other."

"After what you said to her about me not wanting you to have a girlfriend I had to be convincing."

"She also said that she didn't ask for your blessing, that you volunteered it."

"Because I had to be as convincing as possible and in order to do that the assurance that I gave her that I was not the reason you didn't want a girlfriend had to be unsolicited."

"You could have done that without being so convincing."

"Do you like spending time with her?"

"Of course I do."

"Do you want to be with her?"

"What? How can you ask me that?"

"Because I see the two of you together and I can't help but think that you would be better off with her instead of with me."

"I wouldn't; I love you, nobody else," Brian said, walking to her and taking hold of her by her shoulders.

"I just want what's best for you; that's all I care about, it's all I think about; if what you feel is best for you is being with someone else you don't have to be afraid of me standing in your way."

"There is nobody else who reached out to me the way you did when I had no one, who taught me how to kiss and how to make love and who risked everything to run away with me so we could be together; I could never love anybody but you."

"Okay then; I'm sorry for what I said, and I won't say anything like it ever again."

Brenda gave Brian a kiss of pure love, devoid of any of the hesitancy by which their recent romantic interactions had been characterized. They had spent so little time together because of her job that Brenda had forgotten about his depth and maturity and his ability to employ them to not just put himself on equal footing with her but to afford her the luxury of allowing herself to forget about everything that was troubling her and to trust that as long as she had Brian she would be able to get through anything.